Inb4 2013 lol. Fuck you all.
I was going to do a “perfect” scenario mock for each team’s first three rounds but I decided against that plus walterfootball pretty much aced that already here:
http://walterfootball.com/draft2014goals.php . So, here is what I do not want to see teams do. Basically I’m going to go through the first round (and the first picks for the Skins and Colts in round 2) and explain what I absolutely do not want to see each team do. Maybe a specific player I do not want to see them grab for one reason or another or maybe just a position. I thought this might be a little more fun instead of just basically doing a repeat of what walt has there and with the “perfect” scenario idea, everyone is going to have their own opinion, especially for their own teams and that idea has been done before. I haven’t really seen this before.
1. Houston (2-14) – Do not draft Jadeveon Clowney. He’s not a good fit for their system. I know people said the same thing about Von Miller in Denver but it is not the same situation. Aside from that, Clowney is a bum and is primed to be one of the biggest busts in history. Factor in the depth that this draft has with pass rushers and the Texans need for other positions, it’s not worth it. If they want to get a QB, they have their pick of the entire group. If they want to get a dynamic piece and wait on a QB, they should draft Watkins. If they want to draft an upgrade for their defense that actually fits, go Mack. If they want to be smart they’ll trade down and get some extra picks and then take a QB in the first that they like but do not draft Clowney.
2. St. Louis - from Washington (3-13) – Do not draft Jadeveon Clowney or Khalil Mack. I don’t understand why the Rams would do this. Obviously they want to trade (at least it seems obvious) but if that’s not the case then it has to be Watkins, Robinson or Matthews. They need a more reliable LT than Long and they need a true #1 receiver because Tavon isn’t one. They have a very very talented pass rush unit already and if they do want depth/more talent in it, that’s what this draft is all about, receivers and pass rushers. Wasting this pick on one of the pass rushers makes absolutely no sense to me. Draft Watkins, give Bradford a true fucking weapon and let the kid finally shine (Bradford that is).
3. Jacksonville (4-12) – Do not draft a quarterback here. The Jaguars have Chad Henne, he’s not the answer I understand that but he allows them to draft one of the top 3 (Clowney, Mack or Watkins), all of which will fit into Jacksonville very well. Then they can either trade back into the first or wait until their second to get the QB but for now, avoid the QB.
4. Cleveland (4-12) – Do not run out of time on the draft clock. There is no pick that the Browns could make here that would be a bad move imo. OK, if they took a fucking punter here then yeah, but I mean any logical move. Watkins, either OT, whatever defensive piece, a QB, even Evans if Watkins is gone. Shit, if they went with a corner to pair with Haden or maybe even a safety I wouldn’t be too upset. I mean it’d be a stretch for any of the DBs and I’d probably be a little surprised but I wouldn’t be disappointed with the move. Browns are in a good spot.
5. Oakland (4-12) – Do not stay at this pick. Do absolutely everything possible to move down. Oakland has only 4 picks in the top 200, they have to find someone to trade with. I’m almost positive they will be able to find someone to trade with because Clowney, Mack, Watkins, Robinson, Matthews (or Lewan, whoever some may view as the #2 OT) and/or the QBs will be available and someone wants them. With Atlanta likely snatching up Clowney, Mack or one of the OTs, someone will want to jump ahead of them if the right prospect is still available.
6. Atlanta (4-12) – Do not draft defense here. Unless something spectacular happens are Clowney or Mack are available here, just draft an OT (Robinson, Matthews or Lewan) and sure up that offensive line. This draft is very deep in DL talent and Atlanta can afford to sit on the position some.
7. Tampa Bay (4-12) – Don’t draft a quarterback. I know new coaches and/or front office usually results in a new QB but not at this pick. In all likelihood Mike Evans should be available and that’s who the Buccs need to draft here. If he is not then Tampa is kind of fucked lol. QB is the option then I guess but they can sit on a QB until the second and get a better talented prospect here.
8. Minnesota (5-10-1) – Do not draft defense here. A recent smokescreen came out saying the Vikings want to go defense here and while I know the Vikings defense is pretty weak, they need to draft that QB here. Bortles or Teddy will likely be available here, sure up the QB and then address everything else.
9. Buffalo (6-10) – Do not draft Eric Ebron. In the end, he’s a fucking tight end. An oversized wide receiver. He’s not the best blocker and while we’ve seen what a dominate TE can do (Graham, Gronk) and Ebron is a physical freak, he’s not worth the #9 pick. This pick should be either a DL piece, secondary or Zack Martin.
10. Detroit (7-9) – Do not draft a pass rusher. I know Detroit wants one but there’s so much talent at the position, they can address another need here. Odell Beckham, either corner or safety would be a much better choice here and then someone like Kyle Van Noy in the second would be ideal but going with a pass rusher (likely Anthony Barr) at this point wouldn’t be getting the most bang for your buck per pick imo.
11. Tennessee (7-9) – Do not forget to turn off the stove. Much like the Browns, there isn’t a lot the Titans could do here that I would frown on. Trading down, OL, defensive pieces for their 3-4, secondary, WR, QB, barring any ridiculous reaching, the Titans can’t really do a lot to waste this pick.
12. New York Giants (7-9) – Do not draft a safety or wide receiver. I’ve seen some reports that the Giants are considering a safety because of Will Hill’s suspension but it’s not worth it here in the first. WR doesn’t make a lot of sense to me here either because they have much more pressing needs and this draft is deep with WRs. Xnoz, don’t be surprised when you see the LT pick here. If Lewan or Matthews is available,
13. St. Louis (7-9) – Do not take a tackle. But Randy, you said they should take a tackle at 2, why not take one here if they didn’t then? Well, the big 3 (Robinson, Lewan and Matthews) are likely gone at this point and there’s a high chance Martin is gone too. Even if Martin is there, I don’t want to see the Rams take him. I’d rather them grab a piece for their secondary. Either corner or safety holds more value here for the Rams than a tackle outside of the big 3. Of course if one of them is here they have to take them but if they aren’t, work on that secondary.
14. Chicago (8-8) – Do not draft offense. This is a no brainer but as long as the Bears draft defense, they’ll be fine by me.
15. Pittsburgh (8-8) – Do not draft OL.The Steelers’ OLine is not as bad as many believe. Beachum is actually a solid LT and Gilbert on the right side isn’t bad. Inside they have DeCastro and Foster at guards and Pouncey should be back from his injury. Even if Puncey isn’t 100%, they shouldn’t take any inside pieces here. With the amount of defensive talent available in the first, the Steelers need to go defense here and help that aging unit they have. Unless they’re absolutely in love with a wide receiver, I can’t imagine them doing anything other than defense.
16. Dallas (8-8) – Don’t draft a third round talent. Last year the Boys took Travis Frederick with their first round pick after trading down. Now, while he did perform very well, it’s no stretch of the imagination to say the Cowboys could have got him later (also let’s not forget Escobar and Williams with their next 2 picks, 2 more third round talents [I guess Williams was OK since it was the third round but it emphasizes my point]). Hopefully if good ‘ol Jerry decides to reach for a player he’ll at least get the most out of that guy like he has with Frederick.
17. Baltimore (8-8) – Do not draft Eric Ebron. I think the Ravens have all but taken Ebron off their board except for as a last resort. They have Pitta and Daniels so there is absolutely no need to spend this pick on a tight end when they can go WR, tackle, defense, trade, etc.
18. New York Jets (8-8) – Do not draft Geno Smi…..do not sign Michael Vi……uhhhh shit. I kid, I really don’t have any do not’s for the Jets here. They can go in any direction that isn’t DL and improve their roster. Just be sure to draft talent and not pure need.
19. Miami (8-8) – Do not draft Cyrus Kouandjio or JuWaun James. I don’t give two popcorn farts what the Dolphins think, they better not waste their pick on these guys. They can draft a better talent here and trade up in the second if they’re worried about Kouandjio or James. They can trade down here and draft one of them in the late first but do not trade up in the first or draft either of these fucks at 19. I feel like it’s all smoke so Martin will fall to them but it won’t work, these are too big of reaches.
20. Arizona (10-6) – Do not draft Dee Ford. For the love of god do not draft this fuck boy. OK, now that that’s out of the way, if in fact the Cardinals do draft him I won’t be too upset. I won’t be thrilled but I mean he fits the scheme perfectly and he does have talent I just don’t want him on the team. If Barr, Hageman, Pryor, Dennard, Fuller, Roby, Ealy, Carr, Bridgewater, Bortles, Manziel, Garoppolo, McCarron, Cooks, Verrett, Nix, Tuitt, Beckham, Martin, Gilbert, Ebron and Shazier are all gone then fine, I’ll settle for Ford. Outside of that, just nope.
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This post was edited by Randolph on May 5 2014 09:24pm