Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
So I'm back at college again with new papers to study for. It's lunch time on a Monday and I got about 6 plates full of food all to my self. A tough OG like me needs as much food to stay in shape all year round. Gotta stay big incase if a pussy tries to to act tough and call for back up. My life basically consists and attracts haters and thugs. I don't blame them if they want to smash a handsome pimp like me since I bang their girls
I was sitting oppisite my cousin Kuzin K eating my chicken and skullin back my protein shakes. I like Kuzin K, he's family but he's way too fuckin picky. For example, He won't do or eat anything that doesn't have the letter K in it. For lunch he drove back home and brang a box of special 'K' cerial. This kid's got issues, He only plays act 3 on D2 since Kurast. Works out good for him on D2 though, His summoner necromancer is surrounded by mages and if anyone dares try to get in contact with him, he'll punch them in the head with his immortal 'King' maul. High damage and has zod for extra indestructiblity and eld rune for .......... Well, That's pretty much self explanatory..
I was about to take another sip of my 'become-A-barb' protein shake (Blizzard's special concuction) when suddenly I hear this pussy hollerin some shit across the table. Something about '
taintedhams is the mans.' ?!??
I'm telling you, pussies these days will do or say anything just to get recognised. Put my blizzard shake down, wiped my face and put my aviators on to head over to see what the fucks going on. And ofcourse possibly a r/l duel.
I come and this kid has a laptop and he's playing D2, dueling in a low level duel game when he's clearly level 90+ or something (Can tell by the way this kid looks, same stereotype gamer look that you see on MTV) - I reached over with my gargantuan arms and pushed the power button. Nearly broke the buttons because I got so much damn power. Such strength can only come from one who is born and raised in Harrogath.
taintedhams: Wtf asshole? Don't touch my computer you fuckin steroid abusing arab looking jew. Gtfo before me and the boys kick your ass.
Loochi: *Takes off aviators and looks directly into his eyes* Pussies like you gotta stop pickin' on noobs. Duel someone your own size *points to himself*
About now the whole cafeteria is shoutin and hollerin at us ' Fight !' Even the pussy ass principle started betting foreign gold on the winner. Kuzin K comes to back me up with his kebab skewer ready to handle shit incase these pussies try to use weapons.
taintedhams logs back in with his druid 'Boss' - I knew this pussy is going to hack even before the duel began, He's wearing a red antler which is wayyy too big to fit on his body (Musta required 300+ str, nothin much to a barb but a druid..) and a sissy ass cinderella wand. How does this kid expect to beat a barbarian with ethreal snap w/ thul? Basically this fights mine. We both hostiled and everyone's behind the computers jumpin and hollerin, distractin me. I'm about ready to knock everyone the fuck out with my bear like swipe but needed to focus on the main issue. Kick this pussy's ass.
He was casting tiny storms that deal lots of damage and not to mentions his parrots were pecking the fuck out of my eyes and atleast taking 1/8th of my life with each peck! Couldn't leap high enough to hit them, gravity was against me in this duel.. Summoned a grim ward which scared off his pets and now it's down to use two alone.
Loochi: Your dogs and parrots are too much of pussies to come near me, reminds me of you son?
taintedhams: Blow it out yo' ass faggot.
We dueled and it was intense, I'm sure the table we were playing on was shaking due to the duel being intense. Battlenet gave us warnings to stop the duel otherwise their pussy CEO was gonna go bankrupt since they support the shittiest bnet service. I look over to
taintedhams and his comp was lagging. Perfect oppertunity to show him what a true herculean like barbarian can do once he's off his feet. I leaped and leaped and got him to half life. I'm basically winning when suddenly I get a tray full of food smashed on my head, then straigh after that a chair made out of titanium aloy on my head! This didn't even hurt, I basically got iron skin just like a barb. I get up facing the same direction and I turn around slowly and get punched in the face by his two pussy goons.
Loochi: Which one of you pussies chucked that paper plain on my head?
John: wtf?! That was a chai --
Matt: stfu. *pulls out a knife* Let's go now faggot. Tryna BM while our boy lags huh?
I started shouting and screaming in real life and puttin my arms in mid air in hopes to increase my life and defence since I'm dealing with a fag with a knife. Before I can even dodge the knife, Kuzin K runs in and stabs Matt with a Kebab Skewer! About now Matt's on the floor dying and shit and
taintedhams, John run out the window like pussies leaving their friend to die. Police where called and Kuzin K was expelled, charged with man slaughter, murder, dangerous weapon user.
I'm talkin shit with the police tellin them to let him the fuck go, he stabbed Matt for a good reason and if I had that kebab skewer I'd shove it up his ass.
Loochi: Yo, fuckin let him go low life po-leec.
Officer Mike: Well, well, well? Loochi. I knew from the moment there was a stabbing it would be you or your punk relation that had something to do with it *smerk*
Loochi: Fuckin bitch.
Today was a pretty bad day for the start of the semester.
taintedhams and I never got to finish our duel and he ran away and left the blame on my cousin while he has to go to jail now.
When I find this kid I'm going to leap on him in real life. I don't fuckin play around when I duel weather it's D2 or real life.
Guys, Who's fault is it?
taintedhams or Kuzin K's? Please vote so I can show that pussy of a cop and set my cousin free..