Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
So I was at the gas station today wearing a singlet that really shows off my arms and how tough I am, girls were checkin me out while their pussy boyfriends didn't do nothin about it but suck up to me "hey bro! lookin good bro! =D" - fuckin sissies. As I was fillin my escalade up, a van full of punks rolls past next to me and 1 of the guys started hollering some stuff that I thought was quite unnecessary..
Punk1: Ahy yo! you're that muscly nerd who plays computer games huh? LOL!!! GET LAID FREAK?
Loochi: No the fuck you didn't...
So they sped away and I filled up the escalade and didn't even pay for the petrol, no time for that shit. I had to own some noobs inorder to sustain my alpha dominnance. I sped right next to them and gave them a look, about now they're cryin and scared and when they least expected it, they hit a powerpole full on and as I looked in the rareview mirror, I see a big mushroom cloud explosion
Loochi: "ahhh, Loochi Looch'. You done it again."
I thought to my self happily and to be honest, I'm glad they're dead. One less of a beating.
So I arrive at work 2 hours late as usual. And I look at the disgusting blue sign.. 'Blizzard Entertainment' - My job is the janitor who mops the floors. I like to keep the floor extra wet so pussy ass faggots slip and injure themselves. Gotta love that shit.
As I was mopping, I over here two nerds talkin about the new D3 that's comin out.. Something I wish I didn't hear.
Handsome nerd: This new char is gonna blow away the barbarian and the witch doctor away
Troll nerd: Hell yes man! The scrollazon is going to be popular!
Handsome nerd: I can't believe we're having barbarian again.. worst char. Oh well, atleast we took out the unncessary skill like grim ward, potion find, leap att-
Loochi: You fuckin did what?
Handsome nerd: Um... Excuse me? shudnt u mope the floors?
*both nerds laugh and give a high 5*
Loochi: Listen up here nancy and sally, I don't give a fuck about this new character of yours 'the scrollazon' . Sounds like a cheap jip to me. A character that has a mastry tree in scroll of identify?? wtf is up with that shit? And no leap attack or grim ward ? u gotta be outta your mind? I didn't win all those battles against geeks on bnet based on lame attacks... You're makin the barbarian a sissy.
Troll nerd: You don't like the scrollazon?? Her level 30 skill is mass identify. Similar to deckard cain in diablo two. But because it is such an overpowered skill, you can only use it once a game. If you wish to use it again, you have to rejoin. Much like the charge lock that we left on purp-
Handsome: Enough troll.. Look you better do your job otherwise we WILL make that barbarian a sissy... btw. you missed a spot.
About now I'm all raged up and shit. Gettin made fun of by nerds?? a Scrollazon who uses scrolls for weapons? Barbarian doesn't have leap attack? What's next? Deckard cain fucks kashya in the ass? This has got to be a joke. I thought blizzard slipped up far enough when they made world of warcraft but this has gone far enough..
CEO: what's goin on here? shouldn't you all be working?
Loochi: Shouldn't you be sucking my dick?
*Both nerds*: Ooooo
CEO: Excuse me?
Loochi: Why the fuck doesn't the barbarian have leap attack.
CEO: Pack your stuff and leave. You're fired.
Loochi: Wrong answer tiffany..
I always looked upon the barbarian as a true hero, I have posters of him on my wall and shit and even my cereal bowl has a picture of him leaping. So I thought "why the fuck not?" so I picked up the broom near by and I imagined it was my old bonesnap wit thul in it. I felt such a rush that I jumped off a desk with it and cried out "heee" and hit the CEO straight in the nose. About now security was called up and I gapped that stink ass job. Went over to T's house and called up the crew tellin tthem wat happend. We were all laughin an hollerin