Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
So I was at this off the chain party last nite, slamming this chick three ways from sunday when I get a call from my home T about some noob who needed a ancients quest and he'd give us a magical item of our choice. Some kinda jeanie shit if you ask me. So I blew my load in her eyes and got into my escalade and drop 180mph back to my house.
I log on to D2 and join the game Cheesy/Lol and I see T waiting there with what seemed to be a noob assassin that was level 20 or so trying so hard to get to baal and a level 10 Barbarian who kept asking us to help him get the staff of kings.
Lil T: Sup bra, glad to have some uber assitance son.
Loochi: Don't mention it T, let's get this dyke lookin' sin's shit that he promised us and get the fuck up back to the party where I can slam some broads
Lil T: Haha, vouch that son.
Optimize: Yo Loochi, TP man.
Optimize saw the wrath of a barbarian, he noticed the evolution that I have entrapanured in this character class, taking hits like a football player that I am from those blow up guys and only gettin damaged 10 life per monster.
Optimize: WOW.. You're probably like, the toughest guy on bnet right? How much of those blow up guys can you handle?
Orgi_baba: Yo.. help do king staff please..
Loochi: Heh.. Shit, I take 200 blow up guys at once for fun son?
Optimize: Woaaah dude! that's insane
About now T's all jealous and shit seein this noob payin respects so he starts talkin shit..
Lil T: Oh yeah? Well I can take about 600 if I put my mana shield on?
Optimize: REALLY?! You're better than Loochi!?
Loochi: ... Man the fuck up T?! Go on, take a hit from those blow up guys and show us what you got cunt.. Talkin' shit..
T runs up and casts mana shield on and overflods his belt with potions, he runs past 2 blow up guys and dies on the 3rd one. About now me and Optimize are laughin our asses off seein' T fail at his dramatic level. I was pissed at this time because T was intentionally talkin shit to look better than me, all that jealousy and envy that I never expected from T. I hostiled him and told him to meet me in the forgotten tower in act 1.. I was about to make T forgotten.
Lil T: Looch' bra I was jokin man please ally up back :S
Loochi: Man the fuck up T and get wats comin to y-
Orgi_baba: YOU FUCKIN LOSERS! DO THE STAFF OF KINGS FAGGOTS.
Loochi: ...? No the fuck you didn't...
I allied T and we both quickly ran into the maggot lair to catch this prick that thinks he's tough shit, he was about to get a leap attakc of his life time. Gonna make sure he ends up splattered jus like the faggot maggots in the lair. T is behind me teleporting once and running out of mana at each cast so he only did it about 3 times. We see this guy on the level 2 of maggot lair and i leap attack and got a direct hit. took a quarter of his life b4 he quit. Fukin ethiopian noob talkin shit while I'm around.
Lil T: Loochi we still mates bro.. I'm so sorry, dono wat came over me..
Loochi: Put your money where your smelly canadian mouth is next time u tree hugging douche bag.. All good man,. you're ma homie.
Lil T: Yeah bro, you're toughest cunt here man and on bnet.
Optimize: Hard bro.
We killed the ancients for Optimize and he dropped due to time and never returned. It's been 3 days and we still in the game waiting for him to return with out enchanted good.
Let's recap the success stories for tonight.
- I slammed a broad and busted on her eye giving her conjuctivitis
- Got respect from a noob
- Taught T a valuable lesson and his respect grew more for me
- Took 1/4 life of a level 10 barb with leap attack
- Waiting on my reward from Optimize
You guys admirin?