Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
So I'm with the crew travelin around europe to get as much diverse poon as we can before we hit the streets of cancoon. Stopped off in France, the land of smelly cheese. Walked around in my singlet to show off my arms and let these snail sucking douche bags who the fuck's rollin' past. Got G_Bomb behind me with Giant_J incase one of those notradam lookin faggots try to jump me.
Saw a restaurant that claimed it was 5 star and had the internet. My chance to show my barbarian off to the hote babes of paris
Kicked the door open incase there was hot babes inside, Needed to make sure they see the bad boy side of me. I walk up to the cashier with my laptop in my left hand and umberella in my right incase if they tried to play 'tough guy' and the guy I'm about to order food from has a hilarious name, sukhdeep. He looked black and indian and had eyes like chris tucker.. It was everyitng in me not to laugh.
Loochi: Suck-deep huh?
- Do you swallow to?
Sukhdeep: *french accent* Naw, I dawnt. Are yaw havin here?
G_Bomb and Giant_J laughed their ass off at his accent, about now this pussy ass faggot got so angry he went to the back room hollerin some shit about tourists in his french language. Lucky he wasn't over the counter otheriwse I woulda sent him through the roof with one punch.
Saw a hot babe sittin alone readin some gay cleo magazine. This was the perfect oppertunity to show off the items i have on my character. I go take a seat next to here and tense my biceps.
Loochi: *in a loud voice* ANYONE HERE NEED A BONESNAP WITH A THUL? HOW ABOUT CATHANS MASK?
Eva: Plawz kawp it dawn.. I'm rawding cleo magazawn.
Loochi: ? You sound like a fucking Amazon.. Some kinda tom boy shit if you ask me.. But you got some fine tits and that's all i'm after
I proceeded to ask for her number when I suddenly see what appears to be her boyfriend comng over and sittin next to her with his hands around her. I'm readin to knock him the fuck out.
Leo: Halaw. I'm Leawww. Plawzed to meet yaw.
Loochi: Shove it up your ass 'Leo' I'm here to bang your girl one way or another. If you get in my way, even better. I'm always up to fight pussy french men. Your race is a disgrace and a failure to the earth since the dawn of time. And your croisants taste like shit!
About now Leo had a angry fit at me but the way these french people try to offend someone jus makes me laugh? This is what he said to me.
Leo: CROSAWNT TASTE LIKE SHIT HAW? WELL, GUESS WAAATT YAW FAGGAWT. I ATE YOUR DADS ASSHAWL!!!!
G_Bomb: LOL ! Yeah, no arguements there son. I can smell it in your mouth.
Giant_J: No one tlalks about our dads like that you french pussy.
Giant_J was sensitive when it comes to family so he picked up Leo and threw him through the glass window. Eva got up and chucked her mocachino in giant J's eyes, He's runnin around screaming like the incredible hulk and smashin random objects near him. I wasn't happy about this. No body fucks with the crew but me. Jus as I was about to grab Eva by the hair and make her blow my balls,
Sukdheep comes in to see what the hells going on when G_Bomb turns around and sends him a punch to the jaw that sent him flying to the dishes, about now customers got up tryna fight us foreigners. I was back to back with G_bomb surrounded by french assholes. Had to bring out my umberella and wak off some of these failures to life. G_Bomb is a good all round fighter, He grew up in the streets. He's punching these guys and knocking them the fuck out, elbow after elbow and throwing a few knees in. I'm swiping my umberella like a sword and poking them in the eye and using it as an olypic high jump tool incase I got surrounded.
Leo comes back in the store bloody with an oozy!! Fuckin' french pussies I tell you!
Leo: GAWT OUTT OF MY HAWM TOOWWWN!!!!!!! *Shoots off rounds*
I had to react fast, I jumped by G_Bomb and opened up my umberella, deflecting bullets and shit, we're hiding within its circumferance thinkinf of a plan to knock this nazi out. G_Bomb had a grenade in his pocket that we snuck threw customs. Told those french pussies that it was a mini pine apple, fell straight for it. G_Bomb unpins it and threw the grenade straight into leo's mouth!! Leo is runnin around screaming and shit, We had to make a run for it but we needed to grab Giant_J, took both of us to lift his 880lb ass, not to mention he's got quite a bit of length to him too, one mile to be precise.
We make it across the road and we see a mushroom explosion. Me and G_Bomb drop Giant_J on the ground and start laughin at the scenery, rolled up a blunt and rang the taxi to take us to the airport to germany, nothing to see in this wanna be of a country. Might leave Giant_J here because we don't have the financial's to pay for his wounds.
Any good places in Germany guys?