Wind making



I had a full time job, a nice one that most dudes desire.



Im not going to try to explain what I'm doing to the average person. My biological brother didn't understand it either. Like I said, I'm not going to try to explain it.



My role as a windmaker is to make wind where there isn't any.


That's the reason why it's lucrative. No one can fly in places without wind.


If I am able to create artificial wind, and fly places where no one is willing to go, there lies the opportunity.




That's why no one understands my job.

"why not just fly where there is wind?"


If I flew where there was wind I'd get paid like everyone else.



See, I could do that. I could live a frugal life.

But neah.



I've been too indulgent. I am in debt.


That's why I chose to become a windmaker.




It was our of necessity. I was spending like a king. Living like a king, but working like a peasant.



I wasn't willing to be a windmaker back then. I had too many things on my plate.




I was a damn fool. Neah. No I wasn't. I had no choice but to fly with the wind. But now things changed.


If I don't become a windmaker NOW, I'D BE A FOOL.

because I am already in a place with no wind.




In order to survive, I must make

Wind

The reason why the sheep won't move.





1) some sheep are old. These sheep are "risk averse" as in they can no longer take risks. They have thinned on most sides of their resources. These sheep also need benefits since they are getting older.

2) the old addage of "full time is better, full time is best"
People, including banks just can't shake off the idea that full time is better.

3) everyone wants work, everyone wants guaranteed hours.

4) everyone wants a set schedule. It is stressful to plan your own shifts or to self-schedule. No one wants to "look for work"

Having to "look for work" is a sign of poverty, or so they think. They want to avoid the feeling of not being able to find work for a certain day.

5) no one wants to work in a new location. This is a SKILL that needs to be learned. Floating from one workspace to another requires you to be able to adapt to new environments and create resources from scratch.




I understand all of this. This is the golden Handcuffs that keep the sheep in their stall.




Therefore it is unrealistic to try to push the sheep out of the stall, even if the lure is lucrative.


Even if they can make five times more money




P a r t - t w o

Anxiety.
I was anxious.


I was anxious that all the people were catching onto this. I thought all the sheep would migrate. I was one of the sheep that decided to branch out.

I was scared that I would have to share my resources with others.


Not true.




There is a moat between myself and others.

My prize is protected.



1. I am part time. A lot of people can't get a part time position (especially my line of work)
2. Most people are unwilling to take the "financial haircut"
Yes.

Before you can make more, you have to make less. You have to undergo a few weeks or months of pruning. Luckily for me there are endless galore of shifts available.


3. Most people do not have the SKILL to work anywhere.

4. Most people do not have the SKILL to survive alone (not many lone wolf's out there)

5. Most people are afraid of the stigma of being "agency" because in lower tiers, agency is actually something to be ashamed of. It means you couldn't find a job so you had to be cast by an agency.

6. Most people do not have the energy to apply to work for agencies (resume cover letter etc)

7. Most people do not have the qualifications needed to be hired as an agency. I have all the qualifications.


8. I am also a man, won't get pregnant or call in sick. I am young and able. I have good references. I have a part time job and a casual job that I can fall back on.




I have so many moats built around my business.

The question is not "why are others not doing agency?"


The question is, "why am I not doing agency?"





I can do something no one else. Or very few people can.

I can retrieve a much desired ingredient that the market demands.



Why am I waiting?

The lord has opened the way and I am still green

This post was edited by redExorcist on Oct 18 2022 01:21pm

Distress

The paperwork
The vaccines
The police check
Finding documents


Finding logins and passwords

I can't kinda relax

Fit testing



All this bs'ery I was already put through but



I don't have an office.


I don't have all the paperwork (I do but I need to find them)





My wife's asleep
My baby is in my arms



My day is ticking away.




I have work tomorrow.




The anxiety is building up

i wuz afraid

Heart


The kind of pain that's sore even under analgesic


The disappointment and need for one to come to "terms"


Trying to scratch the cement for a save point.

Trying to save



Healing the finger with a cold salve


Unable to see the wound anymore, it is hidden




Pain dissipates with opacity

A freezing point for fire

Slippage

Winter brings slippage

Slip into something warmer

Acknowledging your limits




That is a key skill as a mercenary

Acknowledging your limits. If you can't hold the defense, let your peers know. Don't be stubborn.




Acknowledging your limits.



Balancing that with the victory of Jesus over the death and crucifixion of the flesh.



He commanded for us to Follow after the Spirit

To avoid sorceries.

To be sober minded.



Yet. What I am doing, what I did. Is vague.

Legally, ethically vague.



The day of reckoning... Not looking forward to it.




For now, just ask for mercy and blessing

Especially for grace and mercy.



Dear Lord,
I come to you as a weak warrior
Please have mercy on me
For I am a weak fool.
I do not profess to see
I do not profess to know.
Please let the dog eat off the scraps from the table.
Allow my heart to continue to beat.

In Jesus name,
Amen

A mirage of hearts

Distorting images
Weaving between reality and illusion
The pain of yesterday has softened
Yet something lingers and not of the same kind
A residual soreness
Like a sponge wrung out



The walls are compromised, you know?
I know. Snowfall can make us think that way
Like I said, it's an illusion
Reality is warmer than we preceieve



I am like a kite gliding in soft winds
This is the weight of my skeleton
I am lifted gently



A rejection of reality
A denial of consequence
A deferral of frost



Cold winds cold winds
Cold winds - cold winds


Apply salve before the frostbite cuts
The mind is weaker than the body

Threshold

To recognize the honesty of one's own weakness

The exact point where the body can no longer participate

Rather than to overcome, to succumb



The threshold is near

Always near

Weakness is at the precipice

Caught



Webs
Entanglement


Yet I told them I didn't want to do anything like that

It seemed as if an autopilot program wanted to take over



I didn't want to participate in this winter.
I preferred to dissolve like the snow


The Goldilocks hit me.
Am innocent glass of fluids


I began to shiver before I felt the frost
“I reject"


I don't think that was me anyway.
Like I said, an autopilot program took over, or at least it felt that way.




Thrrshhold...
I had fallen below the acceptable normal.



I was brought low. From that place I could see the door of the basement.




I sank and there I realized.

I r e a l I z e d


I was weak.



I could not participate.




Not in any kind of tribulation. I needed to be SPARED.




I will make me an igloo and pretend that winter doesn't exist

Igloo

The igloo sort of looks like a turtle shell.



It offers protection.



It is made of ice.



For me, I see it as more of a mirage. It separates me from the external weather conditions.



Whatever blistering storm is happening outside


Is unbeknownst to me.