Couple things

I might need buy some more wood filler.




Sucks because I got work tomorrow. I kinda got pretty enthusiastic about my project around 7pm.

I noticed a bunch of more cracks I could fill with the wood filler.




I also gotta say

Knowing I have work tomorrow + doing something interesting = bad combination.



Also feels rather lonely too. Leaving my family for work.



Its never easy.
.


Leaving Ur family for work aint easy. At least not for me.



I built this igloo but I can't take it around with me

A torch I once had



I need something that I can carry with me into the blizzard




Hot chocolate?

Fire

Cold resistance





Dear God of this world,
Jesus Christ, Son of God.



What is fire?

What is warmth?

How can I stay warm away from my family?

How can I stay warm outside of my igloo?



I used to play with fire..

You told me not to be a sorcerer

Not to conduct witchcraft




Fire at work

How can I do this?




There must be a common flame.

Thermal adjustment

The ability to switch temperatures easily





Try to increase this.

So that you can leave a warm place and enter a cold place without feeling any distress.




You can't gain this overnight



You must Build your thermal acclimation levels.




You must be able to seamlessly transition from cold to hot. Hot to cold.



It should feel like nothing to you.


That's what weaning is like.

Dull vision
My senses have dulled

They seem to have been muddled by analgesia
I can't see clearly

Everything seems to be a blur
I am slow to respond

My memories aren't saving properly.
I'll probably forget about October.

All the sugar ive been eating

Gingerale instead of water
Popaicles
Fruit bottom yogurt
Chips


No wonder I am afraid of the cold.
Afraid of separation.
Afraid of just about anything

I haven't been living much like a man recently..


This winter, I want to win.

While everyone is retreating and cozying up... I need to train.
I need to see reality when everyone else is blurred.

I need to do the drills when everyone else is relaxing.
If I choose to be sober now.

If I choose to follow hard after God now.
It is only October. Halloween hasn't even hit.

This is my chance to get ahead. When everyone is under the same penalty, there lies the opportunity. If I can find a way around the common cold, I can win.


Winter is for winning. When the cold kills everything off, only the winner remains.

Winter is an opportunity to rise above the others. When the coldness freezes everything up, your warmth is a trophy.

Never waste a cold winter,
Its a blue fire

How to get ahead of the hibernating crowd.


Everyone will choose to succumb

Everyone will choose self-pity.



"it's a harsh world."
"it's so cold outside at least we have shelter"
"let's wait until summer comes to start again."
"winter is for hibernation"

1. Cut the sugars
2. Cut all sedatives (absolutely no, they will make u weaker than anything in this list)
3) cut all sexual addictions or perversions (succumbment is anorher face of weakness
4) wean caffeine (go green tea at max) as anything on the level of orange pekoe can easily start the goldilox see-saw
5)mortify all forms of self-pity, complaining spirit, complaining about winter or the cold
6) begin to train hard (physical training)
7) begin to force yourself to do uncomfortable things throughout your day or week (such as going to the grocery store, going for a run in the winter, reconciling old friendships. (hot to cold showers)
8) avoid Netflix and sedentary life style.
9) study the Bible even when it's uncomfortable



Force yourself to grow this winter

When everyone wants to stay inside and watch netflix, go for a walk by yourself.


Everyone's going to smoke weed.
Everyone's going to be lazy
Everyone's going to be drinking coffee.
Everyone's going to be sleeping in


Except you

Loan shark

While the guy is in a trance, winning-losing and gambling away his money, he is in too deep.

He ran out of money and can't gamble anymore.



So you offer him some more money to gamble with. And he loses that too.



Next time he sees you, you offer him even more money.


And more and more and more.


Each time he sees you, he borrows more and more.


Until after a few months, you want your money back. But he has gone ahead and lost all of it. Including what he owed to other people.



Hes on the run now. He can either commit suicide or run away. There's no paying such a debt back.




Scenario two:

You borrow from the banks. The banks have agreed to lend you a lot of money for your new project. You start your project but midway you run into some issues and require more loans. The bank says okay.

Six months later you finally finish all your projects. You think you've done your best to keep the costs down. But you look into your account and see that you are down 140grand with interest.



Now you're in trouble. Now the banks can make thousands of dollars off you on interest alone. You aren't even paying towards the principle anymore.




God, how do we deal with this?

In Jesus name,
Amen.

Oh god
Will you forgive me

For my anxious heart
And anxious thoughts

I am like the cleft of a river

Where the streams are loudest


I can't quite

Quiet my

Mind



Lord relieve me of my anxious thoughts


Lord relieve me for my burden weighs much


I am not that strong
But I can be so foolish



Lord. Relieve me.

Of my anxiety

Lord relieve me

Yes in you I believe




That my soul can be light again
And my streams be quiet for thee


For you relieve all who call upon your name

This post was edited by redExorcist on Oct 25 2022 08:11pm

Bitter


The banks won't even let me borrow or increase my limit.

Such a small amount I need and was declined.



I am so bitter.



I

Crap morning


Well. I had a lot of help.
But also they dumped a lot of trashy stuff onto me.
I guess it's balanced out.


I used to think work was hard
Now that I'm picking up shifts, I feel pissed off.


I feel pissed because I picked this shift up. It should have been easy.
But they gave me so much BS. Bs like what? Unfinished work.



I had to finish someone else's unfinished work.... It really pissed me off.


Well u can argue that it's not their fault since someone or something else got in the way.


Lets not complain.


I just feel like leaving this place.



It was truly stupid.


It truly was, I won't complain to my creator.




I don't deserve to complain. I just feel so pissed.

Boredom leads to sin.

When bored. Can't read a book cause it'll make me sleepy. Its the lower end of the seesaw.

Too agitated and stressed? Leads to sin
Too bored and unstimulated? Leads to sin

The idea is to find the middle. At this moment I cannot read the Bible or read any books. I am sleepy indeed. Perhaps I should sleep in the sleeping room. Except that won't really work because I won't be able to sleep tonight.

What should I do to burn an hour of unstimulated mind? The outlook is bleak.