I think that for all you who said you would consider dating a woman with a child, which implies that you would in some way support said child financially, I say you have a big heart. Such a thing is almost unheard of in my culture. I am not gonna start calling people "beta", however I do think that there is something very unsatisfying about spending resources to raise someone else' offspring. Unless you also produce a child with the woman, but you would still be spending money to raise some dude's child.

I am a woman and I don't want kids. Now, if I met a single dad that I really liked, I would not mind taking care of his child in some way. The way I see it, if I really love the guy, then I will love his child, too. The genetic legacy of my guy, a mini-him. But I really doubt if my relationship with the child can compare to that between him and his real mother. I am not great with kids at all, I am lazy, I don't like doing household chores. I imagine the dad would have to carry most of the weight. If I have to care for the child in some way, I will most likely do it in the form of contributing money. Maybe pay for his guitar lessons, buy him clothes...etc.

This post was edited by JessiWan on Oct 29 2021 04:22pm

No offense but this sounds very judgmental.

There is nothing immature about not wanting to raise another man's child. Everybody has limited resources, and it's human nature to want to pass on one's genes.

He didn't say men can all be grouped into the binary of alpha versus beta. He used the term "beta" to mean spending limited resources to raise someone else' offspring is an evolutionarily non-adaptive behavior. Some call it "low value". Some call it beta. They all mean the same thing. It's something that's detrimental to you and your blood-line.

Of course, I realize that life is more than about passing on one's genes and having babies. However, please do not think that you are more enlightened, or somehow morally superior, just because you are willing to date a mom. Some men will laugh at you behind your back, and it's simply something you will have to contend with.

This post was edited by JessiWan on Oct 29 2021 04:43pm

Our whole society and very way of living worldwide hinges on non-adaptive behaviour. It's what being civilized has come down to. We only just begun to unravel the neurology, the psychiatry and the biology of decision-making in human beings and "free will", if you will, isn't that big of a thing as people make it out to be. That being said, you link "low value" with "beta''. This is only true for species with a dominance hierarchy, which human race is not. You are fundamentally wrong there, there's nothing else I can tell you about that other than go read your fifth grade biology book.

Your post is full of assumptions about me, literally none of which are true except for one that I cannot say is true or untrue (whether or not I would date a mother myself) because I have not been in that situation.
So please understand that the tone of my writing is indeed hostile, and I want you to know that I took offense in your post.

/e Some men will laugh at you behind your back, always, everywhere, in any given context. That's life. If you still care about those guys in the corner pointing at you, you have a lot of personal demons to battle still. Good luck with them.

This post was edited by Leeevee on Oct 30 2021 04:25am

Not sure what you are trying to say.

So, if other people do stupid things, you are going to follow suit?



I see that I hurt your feelings.



I made assumptions about you because you made it necessary. You were saying things like, "you are naive" and "you have a lot to learn in life".

Nobody needs that crap. Please understand this.



Oh I don't doubt this.

You took my post very personally.


It's not about caring about what other people think of you. It's about not doing something stupid. If you want to raise another man's child so badly, by all means go right ahead.

This post was edited by JessiWan on Oct 30 2021 06:40am

People sometimes need a more stern answer than wishy washy knee-hugging peace&love hold-my-hand answers in order to see that their view on some things need to change. Trust me, I'd rather not give such comments myself either, but through written advice (and this is an advice-seeking subforum) it is sadly more effective than the alternative.

I'm glad you took the liberty of replying to my previous post. It shows nothing but an external attribution style. I have no reason to reply because I now know it is futile to converse with you in any way, because everything you do or say is only to confirm your own thoughts.

Have a nice day, and feel free to say something boring so you may have the last word. I don't need it.

In other words, wah wah my feeling is hurt. And very nice how you pre-emptively accused of me having the last word. You love your parting shot, don't you?

If you don't want to get called out on for saying crap (in other words, "you are naive" and "you have a lot to learn in life"), don't say crap.

This post was edited by JessiWan on Oct 30 2021 08:00am

I dated two different women with kids and never again for me. You can’t just take them out for a date the kid has to come with you. Even for that reason alone I can’t stand it.

Look this before you vote.

All this means is she puts out.