Used to be from my own ego, I didn't want anything to do with some other mans child or raise one that wasn't my own flesh and blood.

Years later, been with this girl that turned out to be my spiritual TF (if you know you know) and we have the best family.
I've raised her child as my own (she's now 6)

My advice would be to go with the flow. HONESTY, compromise and respect. She shouldn't force anything on you at the same time.
As an example, me and my girl were dating a few months before I even SAW her kid, and I've never been forced or expected to father her child, I did that naturally on my own over the years.

This post was edited by AdamUK on Jan 18 2022 03:44pm

Zero chance

If the kid(s) are from one man, then yes, I'd consider it. If they have more than one baby daddy then obviously she's the problem and should be avoided.

Been with my girl for 2 years now, she has a 4 year old whose father could give 2 shits about him
through these 2 years I been more than a father to him, and I could never be that person that "it's not my son, not my problem"

If his own biological father couldn't give two shits about him, then chances are, genetically speaking, he is unfit in some ways, too. He will likely grow up to be an irresponsible father as well, no matter how much you try to set a good example for him.

People under-estimate the importance and primacy of genes.

How do you explain his grandparents and greatgrandparents from his dad side being a well put together family?

Maybe his father had a genetic mutation? Don't know.

Anyway, I am not saying that he will definitely grow up to be a shit dad. Genes work in various ways, we don't completely understand them yet. But the key point of my post is not that I am making a prediction about your adopted son. It is rather that people under-estimate the importance of genes. Many people think education, instilling good values, setting good examples can save someone with corrupted genes. They are wasting their time. And this is costing us as a nation.

I think you're mixing genes with shitty personality and wrongfully raised

Shitty personality is mostly determined by genes too.

Ive dated a single mom before, wasnt too bad