Thick blanket

Finally feel a bit better although the cloudiness returns every now

Rationing

save the good
use just enough to stay healthy

remember that this isnt a permanent solution


its okay to suffer sometimes.
sometimes it is better to suffer than to numb
sometimes relief should not arrive when you need it to.

Sometimes you have to hold on for longer than you would like.

are you willing to sacrifice the good for the greater?



What are your limits? Your bounds?



I would rather hurt 2/3 of the time and use the 1/3 of the time for relief.


If i treat myself kindly for 1/3rd of the time, that should be good enough to get me through the winter.

Pocket of air

Im alive and well

Shouting towards you from this pocket of air.

You help me breathe, one day at a time.



I wanted to tell you that I am still alive

Alive and well


Thank you

Honestly

Even though there's an invisible blanket

I still feel the stifled emotions underneath



Anger
Pain
Anxiety
Hatred
Deoxygenation
Fear

Anxiety about my wife. Fear of disappointing her.

Dying

Big one is "agitation"

High metabolism
Bouncing leg syndrome

Too much energy but not enough lull

A desire to be at minus one rather than to be plus one




Plus one is good to get things done

Minus one is better for chilling.




I think that if only my wife understood that one part. Or if we were able to come to a better agreement.


I believe I have found something that god has given me. Thanks to God and his providence, I can present to you this new "solution"


Or matrix. Even if it is in a less than presentable state, the fact of the matter is that it does work.

Swing my sword


Father it has been long since I have swung my sword.
Fighting was never easy.


I don't know how I "did it"


All I know is I am about to go again.


I am still waiting for the agency to kick in. I am still in the process of submitting all my paperworks.



Not sure why it's taking so long to get started.




I guess I just feel a little frozen.

The person going back isn't the same one.


Im different now, I hope.


I've put on a new armor. God willing, it can help me fight tomorrow and also the cold days ahead.





When going to explore in my submarine, I have to make sure everything works!


See you soon darlings

Deepest regrets

Creating problems where there is none.

Foolishness.



I am a fool god.

No more.

The next one help me

The honest truth


I am just glad to be alive.


This is a save file i am thankful to the lord to be a part of.



You are truly good. Please deliver me from negative thoughts.


Working five days (why complain?)

Walk me through


Get out of jail free card

No more of this



Take me to a place of unloseable

I give up




Carry me out of this spiral

Father.


In the name of Jesus Christ
Son of God who shed his blood for my sins.

Amen

Pork in parlor



I got FD



Please God. I'm actually believing now.


The spirit world is real. Spirits are real hnsjsihdjdmsnnsjsjsjsjdjdhdhhdhdh


Bathroom soon.
2 hide




Best place is to hide in plain sight