Lost
Like a boat in the sea


Alone




A small job

A small moment





I wonder if the waterfall was necessary





If I can be perfectly honest.


I

Have done very little




Sleep never seemed so doable

A shiny pearl from a pond


Muddy out of water



I cleansed it. Each stone should be worth something.




Suddenly I feel the "saggedness" of all of this.





And my complete readiness to just QUIT my current role.



Because I felt like I was above this kind of thing.




Duty was tedious.

Christmas lights


Yes indeed the lights are still on


Yes things are still the way they are


Sand falling into sand


Christmas time


Another day really

Wrap up

Life is like

Jelly


Thank u for everyone that helped me stay up through the dark times.




1. Thanks be unto God
2. ,Thanks be to my wife and my parents



God.i pray for that man right now.


My Christmas resolutions or whatever are not as important as his life.

This man is in your hands lord.


You are supreme over all.





God, may you send healing among your people.

The sickness that abounds in my soul.





Let not my hands br continually soiled.



Help me to live a life worthy of being a member of your club .


Have mercy upon me end deliver me from all unclean spirits.







All I have to say is.

I am sorry for the blood you spilled.



Let's not reopen those wounds.


Unless something is blessed ,why do you partake of it?






If you cannot bless the morsel, do not partake of it.


You can bless anything.




Yes but what does your conscience say?



Do I have the spirit of denial?


A deeply buried secret?







A deep darkness





My inward parts are not clean.




In the land of the blind
The one eyed man is king

Sorry for the blood that you spilled

The spirits

Don't necessarily react to the name of Jesus



They don't manifest the way that you would think they do in movies.



According to pigs in the parlor, I spoke to the spirits recently , commanding them to leave,but they did not.



It's not something I can easily write about.



A lot of it is obscured,like that man's legs. the dirt had grown into his skin.





The sin has polluted the flesh such that the demon and flesh are no longer easily separable.




The demonization on your flesh


It's like u can't just peel the demon off your flesh it's almost gonna be like one thing.




The point is that you are a demonized individual


And you have tried renouncing the spirits ,it did not work.



Now what?

Candy

It seemed like everyone else in the alley was using it.


It enhanced their job performance.


It seared their consciences.






Analgesia. Spirit of slumber,and of mirth and pleasure .



If everyone is using it.especislly in that sector.thrn it must be true that the use of this can lead to such behaviors.



They were all using it.

The current situation



Not much to report.


I'm at work.


It's the new year.



I unfriended one of my best friends but I'll see him again tomorrow.

I thank God for my one friend who hasn't deserted me. I am happy he got engaged although it seems a little quick and a lot of unanswered questions etc.



So I'm doing ok.

Bored as usual.

Feeling happy that I'll see my friend tmr.




My mind's pretty blank.




The world is like an action figure set that I've played upon to the point where nothing is noticed and nothing is new.





Looking at the world from that perspective every day seems to be annoyingly boring and similar.




The blurriness of everything sucks . It's all so whatever.


Everything's fine. just make big coin.


In life I can make small coin or make big coin





Big coin = life guud?





Well tbh big coin hasn't even manifested yet.





Life is like slipping from one day to the next ,hoping to get lucky with "Big coin"





But tbh I don't care about big coin.


It's gonna happen if everything goes well.





Even my friend d
And his fiance



Nothing really makes me feel anything






Right?






I don't feel anything.

This is what I wanted right?

What I signed up for right?



Yes.

I'm taking a numbing agent that makes me feel numb

I am getting the desired effect..






Life is happening as I desire it to happen.




Is it now?





Yes.


Only problem is that that time progresses so slowly.


Demonic entities?


Not evidently manifesting.







The flatness of reality is bent so that I can walk without slipping

Good wife



Although my wife has talked down herself lately and felt low


She still loves me. And I still love her.





Couple of things.


1. Make sure the person covering ur break has the resources to survive

2. When delivering a package make sure everything is done and get the blessing of the supervisor before u go on break

3. Try to have better timing with break

4. Don't use so much vp$. Whenever possible try to substitute the vp$ with the cheaper alternative . 120/6d . We got some extras but we need to start saving little by little. Store away food. Foraging . Save a little each time.


6. Do not give the enemy an occasion to attack your reputation

7. Do not let ur wife hang out with u know who. Since the onset of this person things have gone really south for my family.



God got you.


All the reports against you.
Human resources .

Etc. Getting fired.


Leave that all into God's hands.

Going back to work after mat leave .leave it all to God's hands.






He feeds us.




Ur heavenly father feeds us.




Let thy will be done.



My little paycheque and what I do may benefit people for now but someday I'll be gone.



Every moment is a moment to tell that person u love them.



1. I do like my job
2. I do care about my job
3. I do care about my reputation at work.
4. I do care about my reputation with my wife.
5. I do take medication
6. I am headed on the right path
7. Jesus Christ is my salvation
8. Agency money will help.

My father loves my kids so I know I have to do my best to make sure my kids are provided for .not only financially but also emotionally .


I need to be there .

I need to be strong for my daughter's

I need to be strong for my wife.



It's not good for her to have to have to comfort her husband who is failing at work. It's stressful for her too.


One of the biggest issues Is finances




I am eating less thankfully. Trying to lose weight.
I am using a lot of vp$ but will now be playing a game to thwart it.



Tonight we do night shifts. Hopefully quiet night. I won't see the supervisor that's for sure.


I don't plan on burning any calories.



God.

I'm not gonna lose god.

U already won .

Thank you to the backyardigans

1. Robot Rampage
2. Chugga chugga
3. International superspy
4.


As I take more of my medication,I can kinda

Hear chugga chugga in the background.





Reminds me of my kids.
My living room.

My little one and my bigger one.

My wife.




The complete family.





I miss them.

I embraced them when I was alive.


I'm sure both my daughter's have a strong and good impression of me.



I love u both deeply. From the bottom of my heart.


See you soon.