Blind housekeeper

Cannot see the dust.


Anyway no one can really clean properly in my home.



Housekeeper even if they have 20-20 vision lack whatever it is to clean.


They lack the follow through, the thoroughness.

They clean up until 70% and say it's done.


Its good enough.


Good enough for who?





See. I am the one who renovates. Not good because I am also the only one who can clean.



Now supposedly cleaning is the duty of a woman. To pick up a broom or wash the dishes yada yada yada.


But no point if they aren't wearing glasses.



You want a Cleaning job done well u gotta do it yourself.



Apply yourself doubly. You will renovate. You will also clean and maintain.



Unfortunatelt this kind of thing cannot be delegated.



+++

You understand what that mean?


Some shit just cannot be delegated.

You want things done well u gotta do it yourself.



Its not a cliche. It's the damn truth.


Imagine u point out to the cleaner that she missed a spot. Well she just gonna get damn pissed off at you.

And she will argue that the spot didn't need be cleaned in the first place.



Its a total waste of damn energy.




If I want something I gotta do it myself.



No one else can understand the measurements.
No one else has the standards.
No one else can say it is finished.





I live in a midget castle so stop bringing home things that are oversized. And get used to things being thrown out or given away.


Lets stop overcrowding the damn place. Get rid of all this trash. Throw it in the garbage. Give it away so I can finally see the floors I struggled to put in.


Everyone else that lives here, your job is to live here. My job is to clean and keep the place cleaned.


I am tired of delegating cleaning. Especially to people who think that dirty is clean and have no conception of what truly clean really is like.


So eff it all man.


Cleaning is not a feminine or maternal trait. To think that housekeeping is the duty of a woman is highly mistaken.


My mother failed and my wife has no idea what she is doing.


Cleaning is a masculine trait. If my house is dirty it is my fault.


It is my responsibility. They have lost their crown.

Midget castle

Yes I live in a midget castle.

I renovated it too.




That's why I prefer to keep it empty. So I can actually see the floors and the baseboards I put in.



Please do not being a n y t h I n G home.



Neither should you offer me any free furnitures.


Lets keep the midget castle empty.

I want to see my new floor and my new wall and my new baseboards.



Lets just keep the place like an air bnb.


Thays why I renovated my midget castle. So I can see the floors again.


Keep this place empty please. Any kind of personalization you want, put it into some nice picture frames and frame it.






The purpose of the midget castle is so that if we need to sell the house we can do it quickly and move out.


Therefore keep it clean. Keep it sterile. Keep it minimalistic.


Avoid at all cost bulky furnitures or any furniture that covers the floor. We haven't had much floor to begin with.



Give everything away on the giveaway app.


Remember the concept of the house we are going for:

Midget castle Airbnb style.


A midget castle is small because it is a midget castle.

So keep it small and empty.


Throw away all duplicates.



This is a small house meant for poor people or single home owners.



This house wasn't meant for seven people to live in. It's a midget castle.



Keep the midget castle empty.

A boredom that just wants to siev

To siev

To float

To bounce to the rhythm of air



Each second satisfaction dripping


Fire
Smoke
Moonlight and the cold night air


Turn on anything
Enjoy everything

That is siev


Breathing through a filter


I am unable to establish a path


Is there a fire for me to stay at
Tonight

Living out my days

I've got you and the kids

We pay off our debts

Work for a bit. Work a lot for a few years.



Save some money. Pay off literally everything. Learn to save better.

Work some more. Some good money coming in. Save that money.



At some point we will be afloat. And then...

Work some more maybe.



Get some surplus for a rainy day.

Maybe one day we will move to a bigger place.



But I am tired of slaving away.

Once the financial numbers are met...



Once we figure everything out.

Maybe get a nice home for just us and the kids, maybe my parents can fit in too. Who knows.


Once we got all the infrastructure down, surplus. And I no longer need to bust my ass, then what?




The rest of the world is still running.

Beyond the basics, what am I here for?



Beyond spending time with my wife and kids and seeking my own fulfilment



What am I here for?



Once I have achieved financial freedom and my kids are already grown, then what?



Anger remains. Hatred remains. A boiling. Crickets in the night


Who will I swing my sword against then?


When God has taken care of all of my basic necessities, who shall I war against?

Shall I seek after wisdom?
Philantrophy?

Read books and help people?


It is war that makes my blood boil. The desire to crush a thing.



That hated won't go away, I don't think.

Even with peace on all sides, the Lord has taught me how to make war.


With freedom like wings, my bounds have been removed.



Zero everything

With nothing but your rod in my hands

I will take to the skies.

Pis

Perfect is nothing.

Adapt whatever philosophy it is you need to move forward




I think if we stayed in one place,
In the name of perfection,
It would be like dying


And that spoils the whole purpose




Pis
Perfect is nothing
.
.

Step forward.

Don't let forgiveness and reconciliation be the reason why you couldnt

Sanctuary and Expulsion

I understand now.

I finally understand the meaning of allergies and sneezing.




Those of you who don't know me, mainly all of you, I have been ongoing project of renovating my home for the past six months (probably way longer but to avoid embarrassment).

I've been sneezing a lot because of the dust/sand etc.

There were days where I'd sneeze more than fifty times a day to a point where the forced air pressure made my throat soar, like it almost felt on the fringe of bleeding.

As an exorcist wannabe, a Christian who wants to claim great miracles, I had to live with the reality that I was too weak to overcome my own immune system.

I turned to Benedryl when things got too bad but it wasn't a good solution because it always dried me up and made me drowsy.



I think I finally realize why my body does this.


Its because my body is a sanctuary.


I was meant to live in clean palaces. I wasn't meant for poverty.


I wasn't meant for an unswept house.


I wasn't meant to breathe in deadly fumes.




I was created in God's image, like everyone else.


But God was reminding me, specifically me, that I was meant for more. My body is a sanctuary and unless I treat it as such, the expulsion mechanism will continue to trigger.


If my body cannot even withstand a small piece of dust... How much respect or disrespect can it really tolerate?



I have tried absolutely everything in the book. I cannot overcome it. My only solution is to wear a n95 mask and treat my body truly like a sanctuary.

Hotbed

Every person that I hate

Every family member or colleague that I grudge against

Is a hotbed for the growth of a demon





I cannot expel demon's from myself or others as long as there is unforgiveness in my heart.




The feelings that I feel for my sister
And then also my previous best friend
My colleagues at work
My father in law
That one coworker who always seemed to be on crack

Everyday a new grudge



But the old ones are like deep nails that won't come out.


Maybe I am pulling at it from the wrong angle.

Help me expel these demon's.


I want to expel every iron from my body.

In Jesus name,
Amen

Pride
Discipline
Humility

I need to humble myself.
I need to discipline myself.

Yes the demon of pride exists.

But not all bad things are a result of a demon.


When pride happens it comes first in the form of sinful flesh. It is the Adam in my blood, the unruly parts of my members.

What is God's commandment with regards to the sinful flesh?


I must discipline it.

I must humble myself.


I must seek after God for deliverance from my own sins.



My own lusts.

I saw myself as great for a moment.

Superior for a moment.




Too good to listen to advice. This manifests first in the form of prideful flesh. Arrogance.



Two things

1) I continued to be obstinate and challenged my elder brother despite his resistance to it. I should have yielded then and there.

2) I was tardy to react to my job situation and a colleague had to approach me for feedback. When I Recieved feedback, I was resistant.


The pride had already seeped in. Maybe it was there before.



I didn't know what to do. And I wasn't comfortable with the idea of not knowing. I wasn't okay with being a fool.


I made myself wise in my own eyes.

Pride blinded me from seeing the reality of things.




Sometimes you can only solve the puzzle when you crawl. It's only when you look at a problem from a humble height that you can derive any meaning from God.


I was a fool. A haughty fool today.


I was an obstinate Moron today.

That is my flesh and I need to discipline myself.


I have to see myself for the fool and weakling that I really am.


The fastest way to failure is to believe in the praise of others.


God help me, in Jesus name Amen.

I'll be honest

Whether it's a demon or merely my sinful flesh, I feel something disgusting in me right now.

Like I am not truly free.



Like I am hindered by the opinion of others.




Was I scared?



I was scared, prideful, not free. I wanted to be liked by others



But deep down the spirit told me that I should be content with nothing.



If there is a demon, cast it out.


If I am free, I would like to yield to the spirit and let the wind carry me

Weightless

Salvation

A gift offering to the desperate and foolish.

Foolish + + +



1) are you desperate enough to accept a free gift? A possible hoax?

You must be a fool. A beggar.




Beggars well open the envelope, and receive eternal life.

The rich and confident will throw it out.