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Jul 11 2022 07:21pm
Quote (UmadLoL @ Dec 17 2021 01:29pm)
Just posting to vent a little bit.

I live in WA state.

Met a girl in high school and always liked her. Year or so after high school we started dating and I knew she was the one.
2 years in she dumps me out of the blue, never gave me a reason. Really fucked me up bad.

Couple years go by and we both ended up being single.
She was hurt by some douchebag and I was lonely and had always missed her.
Texts me at random one night and we meet up and just spent the entire night together talking about life.
We decided that night we wanted to make things work again and give it another try.
I remember asking her if she's just settling for me and she says no, so I trust her and we start dating again.

3 or 4 years go by and I get her pregnant. We lose the child due to miscarriage but decide it is what we want so we try again and she gets pregnant for the second time. She gives me a son. He's special needs but in my eyes he is perfect, I couldn't ask for a better son and I love him with my entire being.
Right before he's born I ask her to marry me and she says yes.

Buy a home for us in dec 2017 and sign on the house by myself just a week after my dad passes.
I save up for the wedding for almost 3 years. (didn't make much money yet as I was still early in my machining career.)
Saved up 10k for a good venue and book a date. May of 2022.
I pay 3/4 payments for the venue.
Everything seems normal.

Last week I'm watching my son while she is out at the store. Pull up netflix for my son on her computer monitor.
I can hear discord popping off and I notice she has an unread message from a dude she plays final fantasy with.
I know 99% of people online are men so I expect her to make some male friends, no problem with me, plus she mostly plays with her group of female friends that we've both known from high school for years.
I ignore the message and don't snoop (never have snooped, always given her my trust and just asked if I was ever concerned about anything).
I can hear it still going off, so i go back to discord and see that the message is now read. What could she be talking to this guy about while she's at the store.
I decided to open it and find out she's in a relationship with some simp sending pics back and fourth. She said to him that day he checks off all the boxes she's looking for in a man.
I scroll up to see how long she's been talking to this guy and it wont load past that day, they've been talking that much, like a high schooler with their first phone. She's only been awake for 4 hours at that point.
I have her mother pick up my son and her dog. She doesn't ask any questions, just comes and gets him. Now I know she knows something.

She gets home and I confront her (civilly because I know shit's about to get bad.)
She tries to play dumb then comes clean. Says she's been talking to him for 2 weeks. I call her bullshit out and she says 1 month. Whatever.
She asked me for my card info so I could pay the 3rd payment on the wedding venue a month ago, a wedding that apparently only I want.
I ask her when she was going to tell me. She says after the holidays.
Even though I am completely devastated, I ask her if she's willing to try and make it work. She says no. No tears, no concern, just a blank face. Doesn't give a fuck.
I tell her to get what she needs for the night and get the fuck out of my house and go stay at her moms.
I tell her i'm not lifting a finger, shes not using my truck, and she can come get the rest of her shit out of my house the next day.

Shows up with family. I tell them what's going on. No one gives a fuck, gets all her shit out of my hosue.

Have a drink with a friend who's wife is part of her gaming friend group. She tells me that my ex confessed she has never been happy with me ever, and she's been planning to visit this random internet simp for quite some time.

Talk to an attorney yesterday.
Tells me basically I'm fucked and that she will probably get primary custody even though I'm the only one with a full time job and set work schedule.
Tells me even though we weren't married, I am the only one on the title of the home, and I payed every bill myself for 4 years except the 80$ garbage bill she can come after my home.
Apparently she can make a claim against the equity of my house. I have 100k equity, so she can come after 50k, forcing me to sell my house if she pleases.

I'm only 29 and I've worked since I was 15 years old (started under table). I knew what I wanted at a young age. A home, a reliable rig, a son and a good woman. I tried to do everything the right way and never rushed into anything and was always cautious. Most importantly I always gave respect.

Long story short, 15 years of hard work, and 10 years of a relationship have been a complete waste of time and a lie.

I'll never give up on my son, but I am left with nothing and am completely devastated mentally and financially.

Sorry for the sob story but I feel like I have no one to talk to.


Sometimes I think my like sucks, thanks for that
No offense

She sounds like a dumb lazy bitch who is a master manipulater and has being doing it to men since she could form a proper devious thought. Family acting like that just proves that last point a little further, none of them have any sympathy for you? I think wrong, some of them would if they didn't all think you were the bad guy. Do everything you can to get your boy pull every string go as low as you need to but prove she's a good for nothing hoe and get your son. Give em everything you can and you'll be twice the father anyone should ever need to be

Good luck pal
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Jul 11 2022 08:37pm
Thanks guys I’m definitely in a better place now mentally.
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Jul 11 2022 09:18pm
Quote (UmadLoL @ Jul 11 2022 09:37pm)
Thanks guys I’m definitely in a better place now mentally.


:hail:
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Jul 20 2022 12:48pm
Quote (UmadLoL @ Jan 13 2022 08:27pm)
Paying her through PayPal so I have records and I am labeling it as child support.


This is a bad idea. Child support doesn't count unless the state gets their dirty hands on it first.

Im confused here. Were you married or engaged? If you weren't married yet she's not getting half your stuff or any equity. The most she can get is child support.

As far as her getting custody your lawyer was probably right about that. Unless you can prove it's in the child's best interest, which is impossible in my book. The mother could be addicted to drugs and still get custody. Thats just how the system "works" unfortunately. If you two can be civil with each other, you could come to a custody agreement and enter it in the courts without involving lawyers. This isn't always an option as most ladies are vindictive and evil, myself included. However, if you can get her to cooperate it's your best option. Look up a custody agreement or parenting guidelines for you state and try to draft of your agreement using the guidelines for your state.

Best of luck to ya
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Jul 25 2022 04:19am
Thats tough, sorry to hear man.. ist been a long time ago, dont know how i ended up in this thread.

Hope youre in a better place now - Keep ur head high!
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Jul 30 2022 06:47am
Interesting topic

The son is special needs right? Since you are already paying child-support, why not just bail? That's what i would do.

The state you live in and society says that children belong to their mother, and that you are a money bag so why let them have the cake and eat it too? Just ditch the kid, and live your life and start over fresh without any restrictions. Your not a deadbeat dad either, this was forced on you both by the girl and the state.

Tell her to either give up the kid and no child support, or she can have him 100% and get child support but its not your problem anymore? Everyone has been selfish towards you, put yourself first

This post was edited by ownyaah on Jul 30 2022 06:54am
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Jul 30 2022 11:24am
Quote (ownyaah @ Jul 30 2022 05:47am)
Interesting topic

The son is special needs right? Since you are already paying child-support, why not just bail? That's what i would do.

The state you live in and society says that children belong to their mother, and that you are a money bag so why let them have the cake and eat it too? Just ditch the kid, and live your life and start over fresh without any restrictions. Your not a deadbeat dad either, this was forced on you both by the girl and the state.

Tell her to either give up the kid and no child support, or she can have him 100% and get child support but its not your problem anymore? Everyone has been selfish towards you, put yourself first


Not an option man, I can't leave my son behind ever.
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Jul 30 2022 12:27pm
Quote (UmadLoL @ Jul 30 2022 07:24pm)
Not an option man, I can't leave my son behind ever.


Why though, the way i see it he is just something that will drag you down, both emotionally and as a time sink. The mother played you, the state played you, and ur paying for the kid to be taken care of, so why should you bother doing the extra mile?

Maybe i am a bit to harsh but given the circumstances i wouldnt even call you a deadbeat dad if you did that. Who knows kid might not even be yours? don't take it the wrong way, im not trying to be mean, but honestly you should do what is in your best interest, same as everyone else did. Be the one who puts himself first this time?

This post was edited by ownyaah on Jul 30 2022 12:29pm
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Jul 31 2022 01:35am
You are not alone.

More people get divorced than stay together now. I have been paying child support for 15 years now. You get used to it.

Also, dont just walk away from visitation. It messes with the kids head bad. Even if you just do the bare minimum, thats fine.

This post was edited by hellbender on Jul 31 2022 01:36am
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Sep 10 2022 11:41pm
Can't trust any of these hoes... I swear. Females just can't be trusted. I've been with alot and the scaling is very very low. They are never happy and never content. All they care about is themselves the one moment or anytime you can't entertain them or make a wrong move that's it, they don't have any humility or take responsibility for anything. It's the world we live in. It's tough. Most women are not strong headed, they are meant to be. They arent women. It's not misogyny. It's the fact of their biological make up. They have no creed at least very few do. Like I tell everyone no one is perfect and you should not have to kneel down to anyone's foothold to make shyt perfect for anyone. To understand life and feelings will never be flawless to have a s.o. who accepts that is the one. Most women will never be this woke. I'm 100% sure of that.

This post was edited by NINJAslit on Sep 10 2022 11:42pm
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