Had a dream where I had Chris and Brandon over for some reason. There was something wrong with my house, and I was having them help fix it. Whatever it was, it required a ratchet and socket. The part of the dream that stood out to me was Brandon just tossing the ratchet with socket still attached into my toolbox instead of separating the socket and putting it back where it came from. Then Chris reprimanded him and put it back correctly—a scene reminiscent of how Chris always yells at Brandon for not putting the N64 controllers away correctly.

--

Had a dream where my dad was at the hospital with his brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews. They came back from the hospital all excited because the doctor had good news: my dad's cancer was not as bad as it seemed; they said he had 9 months to live. I was sort of excited, or I wanted to be, but my dad died back in April, so it didn't make sense. IT seemed too good to be true. I asked my dad for clarification, but he wouldn't talk to me about it. In life, he had a strict policy where he did not want to know how much longer he was expected to live. I asked my uncle (the one who has a pharmaceutical background) for clarification, but all he did was repeat that the doctor said he had 9 more months to live. I can't remember much of the rest of the dream, but at some point I had a jacked-up pickup truck and I dug a ditch (a grave?) simply by letting my rear wheels spin out on loose soil.

--

Had a dream where I was in this really rustic tavern/bar. There were a bunch of jsp users there: , , , , and probably others (those are the 4 I remember specifically for some reason). I don't know what some of those people look like, but my mind said they were there.

Had a dream where the 2-story tall maple tree outside my bedroom window was being cut down. I was watching the people work with their chainsaw out of curiosity, since I find it impressive what they can do.

I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be funny if they miscalculated and a giant branch fell onto my house?" Then, soon after I said this, that's exactly what happened. The tree trunk landed on the roof, demolishing the roof and ceiling, and sweeping across the outside wall, taking that out too.

I only had a couple of seconds to react to being crushed myself, so I hid in the far corner of the room between my bed and the wall. The tree was still headed for me, so I somehow picked up the bed frame (which was empty of the mattress somehow) and braced it against the tree, which was still falling towards me. This stopped the tree from crushing me. I managed to survive.

In real life, there really was a chainsaw crew cutting down the maple tree outside of my window, so I was just incorporating their chainsaw sounds into my dream.

Similar dream happened again, only this time the fallen tree took out the powerlines that parallel my driveway.

This post was edited by Terps on Aug 18 2021 12:20am

Huge backlog incoming. Only like one or two are actually interesting. Put those up front.


--


Had a dream where I was a kid again and we were in daycare. It was my birthday, and we were all celebrating it with a party. We were all seated around their child-sized fake-wooden tables with the plastic chairs. It must have been a costume party because everyone was dressed up—no theme, just random costumes. Think I might have been a basic Dracula with white face paint, cheap plastic fangs, painted blood, black cape, etc.

At some point, the daycare personnel prompted everyone with the question "have you ever told a lie?" I guess this was meant to be some kind of life-lesson for the kids about how telling lies = bad. In any case, they called on the children one by one, circling around the table and asking everyone to tell a time when they told a lie.

Then, anachronistically, Zach was there. Zach was dressed up as Spock, so when Mrs. Sherri or whoever got to calling on him, I got really, really excited.

"Spock can't tell a lie!" I yelled. "He's going to say the line! Say the line! I cannot tell a lie," I impersonated for Zach. I was standing excitedly over the table across from Zach, hands on the tabletop, feet jumping with excitement. I was the only one who seemed really happy/excited; everyone else was just staring at me waiting for me to stop.

Then I finally shut up, allowing Zach to say the line, but by that point I had ruined the moment. Mrs. Sherri thanked Zach and then moved to the next child. I didn't get yelled at because it was my birthday I guess, so very unlike real life in daycare.


--


Had a dream where I was throwing out some old Magic cards. I had the box of old cards in the truck just waiting for the day enough trash builds up to where it's worth making the trip to the dump.

One day I was inside my house. I looked out the window and saw some guy in the other driveway stop and check out the trash in the back of the truck. He was about to take the box of cards for himself. I grabbed my pistol and ran outside. I pointed the gun at him and confronted him with a loud "Hey!" while catching him in the act. He explained that he thought I was throwing the cards away, so he figured I wouldn't mind if he took them. He was right, of course, but as a matter of principle, I don't like people going onto my property and taking things without asking, so I lied and said I was actually keeping them. Then I lifted the box of old Magic cards from its bed of smelly trash bags and took the cards inside.

At this point I was obligated to keep the cards because I had to prove I was a man of my word. The box was full of rain-damaged 1-cent weak commons and basic lands, so it was utterly worthless to me anyway.


--


Had a dream where I woke up and my face was covered in boils. Like, every square inch had a boil, spread out pretty evenly like big bubble wrap. They were the size of golf balls, and they were soft, inflamed, and irritated. Luckily I work from home and can just leave the camera off during meetings, so this was only a minor inconvenience.


--


Had a dream where Earth was being attacked by aliens. The aliens were more robotic in nature, resembling the enemies in Halo 4 story mode (I think I was playing Halo 4 around this time). Eventually the planet got so overrun that it was just me left killing as many of them as I could. I backed my way up a staircase that ascended through the atmosphere and into space, shooting alien-robots the whole time until... I can't remember if I died or escaped via spacecraft.


--


Had a dream where there was a chocolate-covered dog, possibly Luna. The dog was still living, and the chocolate was a hard shell like one of those chocolate Easter bunnies. As I broke off pieces of chocolate, the chocolate had dog hairs sticking out of it. Can't remember if I ate it or not.


--


Had a dream where I was playing Twisted Metal 2, only it was real life and the stakes were real. I initially played as Axel and wrecked everyone (everyone else was a noob so it was easy). Then I realized because it's 1v1, bracketed last man standing, that using Twister was the best option, since with her all you have to do is catch the enemy in one Special and they're dead pretty much. I think I died at one point as Thumper, but you got 3 lives so it didn't matter. I remember playing on the Paris level and the Holland level.


--


Had a dream where I was living in a monarchial civilization out in a Middle-Eastern desert, and the royal princess was about to be married. That actress from Spiderman & Dune, Zendaya, was set to marry this literally retarded kid from when I was in elementary school (this kid and his brother both had varying degrees of retardation, likely from fetal alcohol syndrome). He was poor white trash, fat, had a small head, fucked up teeth, and was generally ugly, so that fact he was marrying Zendaya really confused me. I just couldn't understand what she liked about him. In any case, they seemed really happy together, which is all that matters I guess.

Anyway, later on during the wedding party, a family friend was getting too touchy-feely with my mom (unwanted hugs, touching thigh, kissing). Somehow or another it got to the point where I was standing over him while he was on his back. I was yelling at him to stay away from my mom, pointing sternly at his face. He was yelling back too, but I could tell it was just defensive yelling; he had to have known he was in the wrong.


As an aside: astoundingly, the above situation was actually a real problem after my dad died. My mom was complaining about a family friend touching her leg/thigh, hugging her, and stealing her undergarments. I couldn't believe my mom at first when she told me because she's a disgusting, slovenly person, so I seriously doubted anyone would actually want to touch her. Plus manic-depressives have a way of sexualizing non-sexual situations. Plus she's just generally careless with her laundry, as well as most things. Plus the family friend was already married to a good-looking woman for her age, and he seemed like a really nice guy, so I just figured he was just trying to be comforting. So anyway, I figured my mom was just reading too much into normal behavior. Then one time I *think* I might have overheard him give her a kiss, though I wasn't sure. Well, I was putting it off talking to the guy, but after that I emailed him asking him to stop, and then he stopped coming around altogether after that. The whole ordeal caused my mom a lot of stress though; she felt powerless to stop him. I'm guilty of not believing her. This was all within the 2 or 3 months immediately after my dad died, so pretty weird.


--


Had a dream where I was back in High School. I wanted to work out at the HS gym, but the gym teacher (that thick dude with the salt and pepper hair, can't remember his name) turned me away... I think. Either that or I was generally disappointed with gym class because I couldn't use all the equipment I wanted (which was actually true IRL). Or maybe I graduated, idk. Point was it sucked and I needed to go elsewhere.

Chris had a membership at a gym, so I went there and got a free day-pass as a guest. Chris showed me around. This gym was pretty neat: it was mostly outdoors with tons of perfect green grass, like at least a square mile of perfect grassy lawns. There were different sheltered areas for various gym equipment, each of which was separated by maybe 100ft of green grass (more or less) with sidewalks between them. There were also courts for various sports (tennis, volleyball, track, etc.). The main entrance was in the very middle: it was a very fancy log cabin, like something you'd see at a Colorado skiing resort (nicely varnished logs and big windows). You could go to this main building and get free food and drinks anytime (well, your membership paid for it). They also had chefs on hand who could whip you up an omelet, some bacon/sausage, or other simple meals. It was basically a ritzy country club. Plus, each member had their own little cabin on the facility, which was theirs and theirs alone 24hrs/day, 365 days a year. The cabin was small, but it had basic living amenities: little bathroom, refrigerator, twin-sized bed, dresser, workout mat, dumbbells (small set, probably didn't go past 20 lbs).

I remember wondering to myself "how can Chris manage to afford a membership at this place... plus afford his home and his family," but I didn't raise the question. I also wondered if Chris used this as a place to escape his family from time to time.

Anyway, the people seemed cool, and the facilities were top-notch, of course. Really nice place to workout when it's warm out. Just amazed me that such a place existed and that Chris could afford it.

Had a dream where my work enacted a new system for logging hours.

The system used a modified Pokemon gen 1 cartridge, which you would use on your Gameboy. The cartridge was modified so that you would go to a Pokecenter and talk to the link-cable lady by the PC. Speaking to her would then bring up a screen where you enter your hours for the day.

It was frustrating to use because it only showed one week at a time, and you couldn't hold down the D-pad to move several days at once; you had to keep clicking it, which was very tedious.

I was confused how this worked because the gameboy wasn't connected to wifi, and I didn't upload anything from the cartridge to my work computer, so it wasn't clear how they used this to track my hours.

This post was edited by Terps on Nov 4 2021 10:09pm

Had a dream where I was doing paper reviews. I made a comment asking a question. The author simply responded with "dafuq?" and nothing else. Made me feel self-conscious and embarrassed.

This post was edited by Terps on Nov 5 2021 02:52pm

Had a dream where Brandon visited my mom so she could help in administering an eye exam.

Brandon showed up with a take-home packet from, I assume, his primary care physician. The packet explained how to administer an eye exam. The packet contained instructions on how to administer a series of eye tests, little tables so the tester could score performance on these tests, and a scoring chart to compare against the testee's performance to assess eye strength.

Idk why Brandon visited my mom for this—she's mentally incompetent at this point in her life, and it's not like they really know each other. However, I figured it wasn't any of my business, as this meeting doesn't affect me in any way. He'd see for himself soon enough that he was wasting his time.

My mom agreed to do the test. She tried to read the instructions, but she struggles to understand/comprehend the things she reads, so the instructions took her way longer than normal to read. Brandon didn't try to help at all; he just sat quietly and patiently while she struggled to understand what to do for the first test.

I think I went elsewhere to do some chores, so some time elapsed, maybe an hour.

Later, I ran into Brandon again in the hallway. I asked him how the test was going. He said it was going good. I made a joke about how I bet he scored highly on the size of his eyes, to which he gave a perfunctory "haha, yeah..." He scored in the top 16% on the size of his eyeballs. (This is kind of an inside joke limited only to me, as I always thought Brandon had humongous eyes as a kid in daycare. I also reasoned that this was why he had so many eye-boogers. However, Brandon knew of this inside joke in my dream. Brandon had eye-crusties in my dream, at least during this moment.)

Brandon continued to do the eye exam. My mom was really struggling with the scoring parts of the exam, which required you to perform basic addition.

At some point, I went to the bathroom to pee. However, the catheter bag had sprung a leak. I thought quickly and decided to stand over the bathtub (on the ledge) while the catheter dangled (it was a folic catheter for some reason [I don't need those and have never used one], so it had a long leash and dangled past my feet). I was just standing while the catheter gently oscillated about like a tire-swing swaying in the wind, urine leaking out at an unrealistically high pressure all the while. While this was going on, Brandon happened to walk into the bathroom (door was shut...). "Hey Brandon, check this out," I said, pants at my ankles. Brandon looked around me and inspected what was going on "Pretty cool," he said. Then he went and peed in the toilet while I peed in the bathtub.

I don't know how the dream concluded.

--

In another less-interesting dream, it was like a nature/science documentary. The intro had one of those cool fast-flying over land video clips while the narrator, David Attenborough, explained that there was a phenomena going around that was causing gravity to negate itself or even reverse itself (as the Reverse Gravity spell: https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/reverse-gravity ). The narrator explained that this was causing a lot of damage to the planet in general, but one overlooked area was the damage caused to 3rd world nations, since they don't have the means to repair themselves.

The first clip segued to a random island in Indonesia. Now I was in the dream. The gravity did its negation thing a little bit, which didn't cause a reversal, but it did make it so there was zero gravity for a second or two. This was like a tremor before the big one though. A larger "tremor" hit, and everything that wasn't tied down went into the air about 5 feet. I grabbed onto the fence in front of me to keep from floating. This caused some 20 ft high waves to form too. Then the big tremor hit, and, though I tried to grab the fence, I missed my grab and floated into the air like 100 feet, moving a bit sideways over the ocean in the process. The water and cetaceans within were floating into the air too. I could see through the water that an unrealistically large great white shark was in the water. The gravity went back to normal, and I went falling helplessly toward the great white. This really freaked me out. Luckily, the documentary cut to the next scene, which was about some place in Africa, so I was basically whisked away from that situation via deus ex machina.

The next part of the documentary was some sob-story about how poor kids are in Africa and how shitty their school system is, so I kind of just tuned out at that point.

--

Also had a dream where Me, Chris, Zach, and Brandon were basically playing IRL Halo vs. the Covenant forces.

There was no real plot; just lots of action. It had a typical "oh no / yay!" conflict pattern that all movies have. Like one example was I ran out of ammo (oh no) and then Chris tossed me a loaded AR (yay!). Or like I'd almost die (oh no), but then one of the other guys would kill the monster just in time for me to live (yay!).

I specifically remember one part where I was looting up an area to find a better gun, but I was taking forever. It was doing that dumb thing in Halo where you can't quite pickup the gun you want off the ground because there's another gun right next to it, and it will only give you the command to pick up the gun you want for like .01 seconds, so you keep picking up the wrong one again and again. Meanwhile, there was an intense battle going on and Chris et al. were like "Rick, wtf, why aren't you helping us?" while I fiddled about by myself 300 meters away, struggling to pickup the gun I wanted (and then it turned out to be a Covenant sniper with like 2 shots so almost worthless anyway).

This post was edited by Terps on Nov 8 2021 01:27am

Had a dream where there was a trivia gameshow similar to Jeopardy!, only it had a panel of around 8 contestants, which would get slowly whittled down as the game progressed. I was there, but I got eliminated kind of early on. I was really disappointed with myself.

After getting eliminated, I went to exit the stage, but as I was exiting, I noticed Chris was at one of the panels too, still in the game. Only, just then, he yelled "Brandon is fucking gay" for some reason (I don't think it was in response to a question; he just yelled it unprompted. Maybe it was during the "get to know you" part of the show like Jeopardy! has?). At any rate, I literally facepalmed. I couldn't believe it: doesn't he know he can't get away with saying that on TV? The emcee said something like "well it looks like his night is over," as a pair of security personnel escorted Chris off the stage. Chris was smiling as he was escorted off stage. He did not resist; he took it all in stride, accepting the consequences of his actions.

--

In another dream, I was preparing for a family gathering at my house. As I was preparing, I was having a good time chatting with my dad. He was making me laugh like he always used to do. It took me a few minutes to realize that this didn't make sense: my dad is dead.

I asked him, "didn't you die?" He replied "No, I got cryogenically frozen until someone could donate me a kidney—don't you remember?" (My dad's cancer spread all over the place, so it wasn't just failing kidneys that killed him; this didn't make any sense.) I tried to process what he was saying, but it didn't match what I thought I had known.

I began to ugly-cry. I realized that I must have something seriously wrong with my mind, like brain cancer or a disease or something. It also occurred to me that possibly none of this is real, though I suspected insanity more. Regardless, this realization made me sad.

However, after more thought, I realized that I am happy now, in this moment, while my dad is alive and here with me. Though I may be going insane or in a dream, I reasoned that I should just be happy and enjoy the moment.

The rest of the dream was spent entertaining house-guests (From Kirk's circle of friends) and having a good time with my dad.

This post was edited by Terps on Nov 22 2021 12:09am

Had a dream where I was in the middle of a street in some random cul-de-sac. Some big old fat white guy in his 50s was also in the middle of the street. He was talking shit to me, building up to an altercation. Then he charged me and we started wrestling.

At that moment, right as the fighting began, William Hung's "She Bangs" started playing ( https://youtu.be/9RrLQUN8UJg?t=25 ).

I remember, as I had this guy in a weak headlock (I was in a bad position, but I had his head locked from the front), I was getting distracted by the music, thinking to myself "why is this music playing wtf."

Idk how the altercation ended.

Had a dream where I was home, and suddenly a bunch of my old dogs were alive and well: Sam (Akita), Max (Boxer), Elly (Red Doberman), Smokey (Black Doberman)

I understood that this should have been pretty cool, but it was actually really overwhelming because I am in no way prepared or interested in caring for 5 dogs at once (including Luna). They were all playing wildly, so it was really an exciting situation for all the wrong reasons.

Then, after watching them play for a few minutes, my exasperation turned to confusion: I noticed my dad walking past me in the hallway. He was just walking like normal without even acknowledging me.

Unlike the previous dream where I was happy to see my dad, this time I lashed out in anger, grabbing and turning him by the shoulder, yelling "You're an imposter!"

I'm not sure what was said, but the man really did turn out to be an imposter. He was actually a very short man who was about Danny DeVito's size. Somehow he had magical shapeshifting powers, and he was a trickster who liked to play pranks. He shapeshifted into my dad to troll me for some reason. Then he shapeshifted into me, and I saw the world from his eyes as he did a satirical, exaggerated caricature of me and my mannerisms. I can't remember what this entailed specifically, only that it pissed me off.

I spent the rest of the dream trying to shoe-away this wily shapeshifter while also trying to get the dog situation under control because all their playing was bad for the house.

This post was edited by Terps on Dec 8 2021 09:46pm

Had a dream where I was at the IronBirds stadium (I've never actually been inside tbh).

The stands were full, but there was no game being played. Everyone, including me, was waiting for something, but I didn't know what.

While we waited, I decided to catch the end of last night's Orioles game. I had to go to sleep early the previous night, so I turned it off in the 8th when it was a tie game. I pulled out the remote for my home theater PC and pointed it at the stadium's big screen. Then, I hit play on last night's game, which I had recorded on my PC, and fast-forwarded to the 8th.

The Orioles proceeded to give up 11 runs to totally blow the game. This was really depressing to watch, especially for the other fans in attendance who already knew the outcome. No one was happy. People were groaning.

I left the game on (still with 1.5 innings to go) as I left the stadium disappointed. I don't think anyone knew it was me who turned it on, or if they did know it was me, then they didn't know who I was, so it didn't matter. I figured someone could put something else on if they wanted.

Turned out everyone was waiting to watch the Ravens game. It was some big playoff game, and fans had gathered at the IronBirds stadium to share the moment together. (Chronologically, this doesn't add up because NFL playoffs don't overlap with MLB.)