patience

it is difficult to watch a seed grow

rather, go and find something else to enjoy

enjoy yourself

by the time you realize it

the seed would have died

a flower blooms

hana

Thoughts on DarkHumility

Truly a nice guy.

I even went on his stream a couple of times.

He always respond to me with openness and forgiveness

=

I rmb when he encouraged his stream to talk nicely when they were saying mean things to me.




Dear DH

Not sure why I picked on u.

To be honest it had nothin to do with u




It was simply greed

I just wanted Annis

And attention.



And i Kinda wanted to mess with DH too.

Not sure what that was about? Felt wrong and bad, since hes overall seem like a nice person.



He didnt deserve provocation. He just seem like a ok guy.


I wish him the best in his stream and (hes already very successful)


I will leave him alone for good now.



Hes a nice guy. I know that sounds really generic, but sometimes u have to acknowledge things like that.



Its not easy to be nice to someone who did what i did to him.

So what he did took strength and i respect that.

for some reason there are 6 people on my blog right now... over 2700 views.


Not sure what happened or why i became famous or something like that.



But just so you know, I havent even run into my biggest cases.



I am currently researching a specific hunter.



I feel a connection.



Hes controversial and hes dangerous.



I may be getting too close to something that is beyond the scope of JSP or Diablo or the virtual world.



Think about it... everything and anything can happen here.



What have i stumbled upon?

Idols and snakes


Sorry my friend. I looked up to you in a way. I guess I just kinda lost some respect for you when I saw you did the devil horns in one of your recent video performances.

Sigh. A fool's idea I had. I expected as much.

Each one of us are sacrificed to either God or the devil.


There is nothing in between.



Sorry dude. I am sorry that you, like myself, still struggle.

It seems like until the end, we remain as either vessels of the Lord or vessels of the evil one.



One is unlike the other.



As I watch you fall, I want to remember that all lies will be revealed. Nothing hidden will be kept secret.

The man -


Man progresses, i think, in a spectrum.

From a lesser state to a more completed state.


Man is able to regress on this spectrum.


It is not all encompassing and I think that one of these metrics is masculinity and maturity is another one.


===


Of masculinity... Maleness.


Of maturity... Opposite of baby. Moving from a baby to a kid to an adult to a Responsible Person.


===

There is something in my life. Something that I do that makes me feel like I am regressing in these two categories of

a) maleness

and

maturity.


===

of maleness I think I am regressing because - my habit simulates weakness. it simulates succumbment. It simulates victimhood. it simulates compulsion. I cant help myself. Oh poor me. If I just distorted my voice a little I would sound exactly like a woman.


of maturity. Baby that needs his pacifier. Unweaned. Without peace. Unstilled. Like sucking on a thumb or peeing in your pants - This is a form of regression. How can we accept this and continue to participate in a mirage?

===

do i want to grow as a man?

do i want to grow as an adult?

dormancy and creative release.


of dormancy -

something within us (whether physically or not) which is stimulated by Creativity or Imagination.

I use Creativity and Imagination interchangeably.



in essence, humans possess cells that are able to be Activated by "imagination"



But dont get me wrong, this takes time. Its a gradual process.



That is key to understanding the principle of how Imagination can affect Gene Expression



specifically in relationship to sexual genetic expression.



===

Basically, all men possess these dormant cells which, through "imagination," can be expressed.

It is key to remember that this is a GRADUAL process.


===

Think of the word Imagination.

Does that describe a process or does it describe a finished product?

===

Imagination is the process

It can be a transition. It can take time. It can and often needs to happen slowly.

It requires encouragement.

And it requires consent.

===

Finally, we are held accountable for our imaginations.

Veal is grown in the dark for it is veiled. The result is delicate meat.

It all ties back to the ultimate conspiracy made most popular by The Matrix.

Veal reminds me of the baby humans that were grown in the pods in the matrix.

===

In the matrix, these human veals are battery units.

According to Disney's monster inc, we can see how the human Veal can generate a substantial amount of energy.

===

What ultimately will humans be used to power?

What would require an ungodly amount of energy?

How does imagination survive? It survives in the darkness.

===

Things seem to be uncannily tying together with regards to the weakening of human race.

Of turning men into women.

Keeping them within their imaginations.

And veiled in the darkness.

closure

escaping death

weaving through traffic

like paper inthe wind

let it flow

when you hit something

let it roll

Loneliness

If you feel lonely

Like I do

Its an accumulated feeling.

I am lonely because I miss somebody.

You can only ever feel lonely if you've recently loved someone.

Its the absence of that love that creates the feeling



Its physical too.

It activates based on proximity.

And it gets worse at night.

Sleeping beside the person you love is the greatest cure for loneliness.

knowledge is the discovery of the 'unknown'

it gets boring fast

anything repeated becomes stale

there is nothing new

just new gimmicks

Knowledge of forward
And of backward.

A time of reflection


I have to say.

To be able to utter words.

Is truly a blessing.


A can of canned food

Can be spurned

Or be considered a blessing


. The time for unravelling is here and it is unprecented as they like to say.

Numbers timing and calculations.

Promises fulfilled.

Overclocking to 7000