Hey guys,
So I've been dating this girl for 2.5 years and we've been living together most of this time. We're 35 and 34 years old.
She's a great person, someone I can always rely on, she's smart and funny.. the only thing thats wrong with her is that she doesn't want to have much sex.. and when I say "much sex" I mean like once a week, twice tops... she's a bit neurotic and feels constantly under pressure from her job and "social obligations"...

I've spoke about it with her a bunch of times and how it makes me feel like I'm not desirable enough for her and how one way or another it's going to ruin our relationship, but it went nowhere.. she was very upset and for a while I could see her pushing herself to have more frequant intimate moments, but after a while things went back to normal and I go back to doing it myself.. which feels humiliaring to me.. it's only my second long-term relationship and the first one was with a horrible person, but at least the sex was great..
Now I don't want to go and seek what i'm missing with another woman because I respect her that much, nor I want to break up with her because I love her and I feel like this is the person I want to spend my life with(it might feel weird to you guys that I say that for the second woman in my life, but I really mean it. Other than the sex thing she's really amazing, thats why I want to fix things), so I feel pretty much screwed if I don't find a solution to this problem.

Any help would be highly appreciated.
Thank you!

Either she’s asexual if you guys never rly had much sex.

Or she lost attraction and there’s likely no way to fix that in a long term sense

I can't say I've had much before this relationship. Can't speak for her, but I don't think she's had that much either..
I doubt she lost attraction. We've spoke about this multiple times and she said she finds me very attractive and I know she's being honest. She's very open minded and a horrible liar, so I'm sure I'd know if she was lying.
I have no idea why she's so frigid.. seems like she's into me, but when it comes to intimacy she doesn't cover 10% of my expectations.

If true she probably has a hormone imbalance.
She on birth control?

Maca root works well but doubt telling her to take pills will go over well lol

No, she's not taking birth control pills. She's constantly complaining for various health and cosmetic issues, which I think is a result of the lack of activities in her life(she goes to yoga and swimming, but other than that she's not very active..) We're also working from home from the start of the pandemic..

She's very stressed about her work(for no obv reason, because it's not that stressful..)
There is no clear indication why she doesn't seem interested.. I'm even considering to go to a sex consultant..

Honestly, after 35 - once a week is a pretty normal state of affairs as far as I know of.

Its good that you still want to have it more, but not everybody is going to have that level of sex drive - so you might just have to be a coomer for the other 6 days lmao. Most marriages I hear of are either sexless or a once a month type thing - just fucking brutal.

It could be that stress could be the main factor in this. People who battle with stress often have a low sex drive. Unless it’s always been the case before she suffered with stress at work?

i could write several paragraphs about how women's sexuality has been put in a box that no one knows how to access it.

women in their 30s can become less sexual, due to things like having kids, or in this case stress.

get her a vibrator and tell her to seize any opportunity that she feels aroused- instead of pushing it off to another time.

find out what turns her on. living with someone and having sex always "be available" causes people to think "we can do it anytime, ill do this chore instead" so you both have to view it as something you want to work on.

she sounds more like a friend than a partner honestly.

You will always have times where you will do it yourself in a normal relationship. Not every1 wants to have sex all the time. There are some that love it every day and some that want it 1-2 times a week.
Sometimes you will fall in love with some1 who wants those moments less. The best you can do is to create situations and moods that make her want it more, in a more natural way, instead of 'guilting' her into it.
I know that is not your intention, but it definitely places some stress on her. If she is super tired and stressed out, look for some ways you can make it easier on her so she has more mental and physical energy.