It’s my birthday today, 29 years old. I had all my best friends over for a party. It was nice to have everyone together.

Home from the holiday. I had a great time and am already pondering where to go next.

The girl I visited is now my girlfriend. She was meant to spend another 6 months in the UK working but is coming home September 14th. She makes me extremely happy and doesn’t like to party all that much which is also amazing for me.

I’m the happiest I’ve been in years.

Update, bish

Life has been pretty good. I still do drugs from time to time but nothing like I used to.

Girlfriend has moved back and has more or less been living with me. She will sometimes go to her parents for a few days (5 hr drive) to see them.

Gym has been good. That’s always going to be a love, hate relationship for me as I never like the way I look and probably never will.

Work is getting busy coming in to Xmas (retail)

Overall, good. I hope you’ve been well my friend ❤️

Glad things have slowed down for you man, sounds like you are getting there! I think we covered it earlier that you needed to change your routine a bit. I think the girl did that for you!

Unhappy with your looks man? I'd kill to be in your shoes, I am an ugly, fucked tooth Brit xD

Things going well here mate. New baby, well, nearly 11 weeks old now, and settling in to true family life. Work is rough as you will know in retail, but I manage 1,300 ecommerce websites and ensure that they're all up to date and not going down, or that all features are working fine. Going to be a fun holiday season! We have been short of staff for a few months now and the company are only just realizing that it's going to be a rough one come this next few months, and are recruiting. The problem being that we're currently facing issues getting people of the relevant calibre to be able to actually be a worthy hire! Good news is though, I was singled out for a promotion that I got in April this year, and I have been told that I may be getting considered next year onwards for another one! The next one is the big boy one that would get my general lifestyle in to gear so much better and be able to afford a house etc of my own rather than renting and wasting money paying other people's mortgages!

So happy to see you're doing well man, and more importantly that you're feeling that you're doing well too...

On Saturday I had a big night of drinking and drug abuse. I was flirting with other girls and even in front of my girlfriend.

She asked me about the situation and I lied. She drove back home to have space and messaged a close friend of mine asking if I had done this behaviour before. My friend told her how I get when I drink and abuse drugs and that I had been lying to my girlfriend.

We just broke up. I am numb. I can not believe how much I have hurt this beautiful, innocent young lady. I realise now that my actions not only effect my life but that of others...people I love and care about.

I need help. On Thursday i will find help to combat what I’ve been so scared of facing...the fact that I very may well be a drug addict.

I hate myself.

Bruh. Struggling to find the words to even say about this right now.

Nobody is going to be more disappointed in you than yourself right now. If it the total endgame between you and her? You definitely need help on getting over the drugs thing, just do yourself a big favour and don't turn to them for the little up you need whilst getting over it.

You need to ask yourself if the problem lies with yourself, or does it come from outside influence? Are you taking them due to others around you? Yeah you may not hesitate to say yes, but you need to look for the lowest common denominator.

Hopefully you and her have a heart to heart and it breaks it through to your brain as well as your heart that drugs are bad. Mkay?

All done and dusted. We chatted over messages and now she’s far too hurt and doesn’t trust me and I can’t blame her.

I’m pretty devastated and hate that I hurt her when she had been nothing but amazing to me.

I’ve taken a few days off work and opened up to some friends that I think I have a problem. I spoke to an anonymous drug and alcohol counsellor over the phone and some things he said made sense.

One step at a time..

Bruh, if you ever wanna talk about shit, let me know. Even if it's complete private just to have a rant. You have me on facebook as well as here, and I'd chat on Discord too

Shit things happen. One positive that you can look at is how far you CAN come should you iron out some creases. Not saying that it's not a bad thing that you broke up, but there really are more like her out there, you just need to trust in yourself and remember you can be whatever you put your mind to.

Completely unrelated. I have been what I would like to call a 'Dosser' for a while. Some guy who just doesn't do anything to change my lifestyle and my choices. Though they aren't involving drugs, they're still self destructive. The sort of not happy with what you have, but doing nothing to change it kinda shit. I recently enrolled in web development classes etc to support me at work. Come next year I should be starting to look towards a promotion again. It's going to take time but this will change our lifestyle so much it's unbelievable. You can do this too. Cut out the drugs and you're good man.

This post was edited by Kalms on Nov 13 2019 03:06pm

Not talking to her at all and no chance of getting back together

I’ve slept with a few girls, not really doing anything for me. It’s just a time sink.

Feeling extremely lonely and depressed lately.

Found out my best female friend has been hanging with my ex. Not talking to her anymore either

Work is keeping me busy and I’ve been enjoying the gym a lot but otherwise I’ve been having some extremely dark days.

Still using drugs each weekend