Had a dream where my house was leaking rain so badly that it was difficult to even find a place to stand without getting wet. You could see it leaking from the ceiling and down the walls, the drywall was cracked and the paint ruined, wood was warped.

It's been raining a lot lately, plus I have home renovations on my mind, so that's probably why I dreamt this

Context: I was sick last night and was in a weird state of mind.

Whenever I would go to sleep, I'd return to the same dream: Zach was trying to steal my testosterone. The dynamic of this relationship was kind of like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon villain, where Zach was comically incompetent at achieving his goal, undaunted by failure, and ultimately harmless in his efforts.

I probably got up / went back to sleep a dozen times, and every time, I'd return to the same dream.

On one occasion, Zach successfully stole my testosterone, but then he crashed his truck head-on into a tree like 300 ft. down the street, so then I just took it back from his incapacitated body upon visiting the scene of the accident.

--

In another dream, the devil offered me a new wheelchair. The wheelchair was gaudy with fancy sparkly paint and expensive parts. I'm not really into wheelchair bling (I like to keep things simple), but I took it anyway because it's a lot of value for free, and I need a new chair anyway.

As part of the deal, I had to go on an airplane ride with the devil and all his demons. All of the demons were lascivious young women who made me feel uncomfortable. I probably would have been interested if it was a more personal 1 on 1 setting, but all of the demon women were basically forcing themselves upon me one after the other—like I couldn't even be alone for a whole minute without being interrupted. Also I got the sense that they weren't really interested in me; they were only trying to sex me up because they were serving the devil. It was probably some kind of trick to get me further in debt. Thankfully, I was able to repel their advances.

When the airplane landed, I thanked everyone for their hospitality and the new wheelchair and got away ASAP.

This post was edited by Terps on Jul 7 2022 01:13pm

Had a dream where I had people over. I went to go up the ramp, but somehow I caught something and fell forward and out of my wheelchair. I unrealistically slid down the ramp on my face, knees, and toenails. The ramp was made of rough concrete, so it was like sandpaper on my skin. Brandon was the first one to grab me a keep me from sliding farther. He and Chris were like "we'll help you up buddy," as they sat me back in my chair. I tried to smile and act like it didn't hurt, but I tore off my big toenail and really hurt my face. I was fighting off tears while trying to smile. Also I was really embarrassed, which probably hurt more.

Had a dream where people were trying to get me. One of the people was my dad for some reason—he had betrayed me and turned against me, working with the bad guys to capture me.

I spent most of the dream fleeing through abandoned buildings, reminiscent of a Fallout game setting.

Eventually, with my dad and the other bad guys close behind, I locked myself in the bathroom. They were trying to talk me into coming out, saying how they weren't going to hurt me.

I actually had to pee really bad in my dream, so I started peeing. I was peeing for a very long time, well over a minute—and then several more minutes—while they tried to convince me to come out.

I was peeing so much that the toilet was on the verge of overflowing, so I quickly turned and started peeing on the floor so as not to break the surface tension of the toilet pee-water that was brimmingly full.

As I was peeing on the floor, I noticed that my pee had changed to look less like pee and exactly like semi-fluid bacon grease, the kind that's just on the verge of becoming a solid. It was an opaque white color with what looked like charred bacon crumbs suspended in the fluid. As it hit the floor, it make a thick, chunky splashing sound, reminiscent of the sound of thick soup being poured from a can.

At this point I was considering letting in the bad guys simply because I might actually need help, and there was no way to escape with this going on.

However, at this point I woke up, and as you probably suspected, I had to pee really bad IRL.

This post was edited by Terps on Jul 16 2022 08:16pm

Had a dream where I had a really long dick, like 12", and girthy too.

However, it was misshapen. The base of my penis was really narrow, less than 1" in diameter. This girth ran for about 3-4" from the base. Then, the girth widened to about 2" for the rest of the penis. It kind of looked like a sausage tube that was squeezed on one end:



Despite being misshapen and awkwardly weighted, it seemed to function normally and stay upright when turgid.

Anyway, since the opportunity presented itself, I capped things off by sucking my own cock.

--

Had a dream where all of the toothpaste tubes in my bathroom cabinet were overflowing.

In real life, I have a lot of toothpaste tubes for various reasons, so this was a bit of an anxiety dream, I guess.

--

Took a nap during work. Had a dream where I was working on a report for work with the other tech editors.

For context, I was just starting to fall asleep, so I was juggling various thoughts, including how I had to use up an avocado in the refrigerator before it went bad.

Anyway, in my dream where I'm working on this paper for work, I got the idea that I could cut up that avocado and put it in the report. However, I remembered that this report isn't due until Tuesday, and the avocado would go bad between now and then, so it was best not to use the avocado in this situation, since it would turn brown and ruin the paper for my colleagues.

This post was edited by Terps on Jul 24 2022 01:02pm

Had a dream where I went to a big facility for a job interview. The facility seemed to be a lot of things at once: military complex, office space, learning facility/college.

The venue for the interview was really unusual: the person was teaching a college course, and they were going to interview me in the classroom while their students worked quietly. I wasn't very comfortable with this, but I went through with it anyway because I was desperate.

I could see from the outset that the interviewer was a total hard-ass, smart-ass, prick... some know-it all-Asian guy who probably overachieved in everything in life, took everything too seriously. He kept asking questions that were meant to trap you, so I was on eggshells the entire time I answered him. I specifically remember him laughing disrespectfully at one of my responses as if I gave a stupid answer.

At one point, he asked me if I was okay working with women. I said of course. He then followed-up that some of the women would be far superior at my job compared to me—geniuses even. I said that's no problem; some of the most impressive people I've ever worked with have been women. Plus, with there being 9 billion people in the world, statistically it was impossible that there wouldn't be a woman smarter than me out there.

At this point, the interviewer was in his gottcha moment. He was unleashing a verbal attack, pouncing upon a slip-up on my part. He was like "You mean 18 billion. You aren't including women." (FYI: there are actually 8 billion people in the world). He was trying to imply that I was being sexist, biased, and disrespectful with my answer. I was confused, befuddled, and defensive: I didn't mean to be disrespectful. And I didn't think to push back against his argument being wrong because tempers were escalating quickly and students were beginning to gang up on me verbally.

At this point, one particular female student was getting in my face and yelling at me for being sexist. I'm a pretty quiet person who doesn't like to yell, so I couldn't really say anything amid her stream of invective.

The confrontation came to a climax as the girl shoved her tuna salad sandwich in my face, which got mayonnaise, fish, and celery all over my face and on my wheelchair cushion as it fell off my face. At this point, I forced her aside, grabbing her arm so she'd stop assaulting me and let me get by (there were a bunch of classroom chairs in the way of my wheelchair, which appealed to some irl anxiety).

As soon as I forced my way past the girl, someone called the cops. They were trying to get me arrested for assault because I probably bruised the girl's arm as I grabbed her to stop assaulting me and get past. I knew it'd be my word vs. the word of a classroom full of people who were against me, so I reasoned that fleeing the scene would be the best course of action.

I went to get my car, but I forgot my car was having its oil changed. My car wasn't ready yet—the shop was all out of oil for some reason. Anyway, all this meant that I'd have to elude police on foot.

While I'm fleeing the big facility, I notice that a huge rocket roughly the size/diameter of a skyscraper got launched from a building. However, the launch went awry and crashed back into the facility, causing a massive explosion and likely killing a lot of people. I kind of just brushed this off because I had more pressing things to worry about, so the gravity of the situation was kind of lost on me.

I kept eluding bad guys, but then the dream reset itself and I was back at the tuna salad sandwich incident.

As I was escaping the room, I noticed Samantha Knox from daycare. I was not only amazed to see here, but equally surprised to see that she hadn't aged at all. She explained that her body stopped aging once she reached the age of 7 due to a endocrine disorder. This was all terribly interesting, but I didn't have time to chat because I had to elude the police.

I continue to elude police, but where I was on foot for the first half of the dream, now I'm in a wheelchair. However, the dream wasn't consistent with this: I was blatantly cheating up steps and curbs by walking and dragging my chair behind me because I was in a hurry and didn't feel like finding the handicap ramp.

After eluding the cops for much of the dream, eventually (finally) I experienced a confrontation out in the street. I did the old "look over there!" trick and tricked the cop who was closest to me while I ran the other way. Still, although I was now out of reach, he was hot on my trail.

I was chased to the garage where my car was being worked on. The garage was full of my gangster homies (like the white supremacists from Breaking Bad). They were expecting me and preparing for the heat to follow. The garage was now all sealed shut, windows protected with metal shutters. Also, one of the gangster mechanics was my HS friend Bobby Stone (who is a mechanic irl). A shootout ensues.

Idk how it ended

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Had a dream where I bought a used Tesla Model S. I had some friends over for a party (unrelated), and was keeping an eye on my car because it was new to me and I was still enamored with it.

However, at some point, I plugged something into the USB port, which sparked and started smoking. I took out the USB device and figured I could get the USB port fixed later.

I went back to the party. Then, maybe a half hour later, I checked on my car again. It was on fire. Beneath the hood, there was a decent-sized flame, maybe the size of a small campfire, burning without any sign of going out. It was some kind of electrical fire.

I panicked and grabbed a can of freon. I went to install the spray nozzle on it, but I messed it up somehow and the freon just sprayed wildly, going mostly all over the floor but also some on my hand (which is really bad btw: the extreme cold will kill tissue).

Then my dad came in like normal and helped me with the freon and the car fire. It was a good feeling to have someone I could depend on help bail me out of a fuckup.

I ended the dream by trying to see if my car could still drive. Surprisingly, it could, but it didn't go very fast. Plus I found it disconcerting because it could reignite at any time.

------------------------------

Had a dream where, somehow or another, I was now cured of my paralysis, which meant I could go back to being a mechanic.

To help me get back into the career, two guys from when I worked at Honda, Blaine and Jerry, visited my house to help me sort through my tools and transport my toolbox from home to the garage. It was kind of weird that these two particular guys volunteered to show up; I didn't actually know them all that well. Jerry was actually a pretty intense dude who kind of scared me.

It took me a while to sort through my toolbox because, as of right now, I have just about everything in there. There're a lot of duplicate tools that I'd leave at home if my good tools are now going to be at work.

It was taking so long that it was now night time. I felt bad because Jerry and Blaine were waiting here this whole time while I sorted. However, I didn't actually aske them for help; they just showed up on their own, so I didn't feel totally bad.

While I went through my tools, a confrontation occurred outside with Blaine and Jerry. A cop had showed up. Apparently there was a warrant for the arrest of one or both of them.

I went outside to see what was going on. The first thing I saw immediately was the cop uppercutting Jerry like 20ft into the air. Blaine was trying to help out Jerry, but once he saw this cop was fucking dangerous, Blaine took off.

Blaine was hiding behind one of the cars in my driveway. The cop went to give chase, then he stopped in front of me and asked if I saw which was Blaine went.

Blaine was looking at me like "don't tell him" with his expression. However, I didn't want to get beaten/arrested too, so I pointed discretely (so Blaine couldn't see) where Blaine was. The cop took off after him.

I felt kind of bad for ratting him out, but eventually Blaine came back after losing the cop, so everything turned out okay anyway in the end.

Had a dream where I went back to UMD as a student. First semester in years, so I felt like a freshman again.

On the way to my first class, I got lost trying to find the building and classroom (which always was an anxiety of mine, even if it never happened). I had to park my car really far away and start looking for the building on foot because the parking situation was fucked (as usual). Cars were at a standstill looking for parking spots near the campus.

While looking for the classroom on foot, I entered a random girl's car and got in the passenger's seat. I told her I was looking for [name of professor] in [building/classroom #]. She acknowledged me with a head nod and an "mmhmm" but didn't say anything.

Eventually while in the car I saw the building I was supposed to enter and got out. I told her I'd tell the professor she was coming; she'd just be late while looking for a parking spot.

I find the classroom. Teacher is all jovial and bubbly as she greets students, kind of like the teacher from Magic School Bus.

I find out that this is a Trigonometry class. Fuck. I hate math. Mood is ruined.

Brandon shows up. He's super happy to have a friend in one of his classes. Apparently he didn't tell anyone he was returning to college.

Brandon awkwardly hugs me from the side, while I do not hug back. I do not reciprocate his enthusiasm—I'm still bummed about this being a Trigonometry class.

I start looking for a place to sit. I notice that some of the chairs are just ikea pleather chairs/stools with no desk (I hate how schools try to be all modern and cool at the expense of what's practical and necessary). I eventually find a seat at a desk. Brandon enthusiastically sits next to me, ignorant of the 1-seat buffer zone that's supposed to be between each student (it's like an unspoken rule, even before pandemic safety measures). I don't move seats away from him though, as that might seem overly rude.

Brandon is excitedly talking to me this whole time, but I don't even think I actually said anything back or acknowledged him verbally.

When we sit down, Brandon immediately gets out a big piece of drawing paper and a pencil (those ones for art class that don't have erasers) and starts drawing a crude but detailed drawing of a penis, scrotum, pubes, etc. He does this as if it's just for himself to pass the time, but you know it's meant to be seen—like he's trying to do something wacky for attention so other students notice and think he's cool/funny. Pretty cringe tbh.

Eventually the teacher notices. She marches over swiftly and deliberately to confiscate the paper. Brandon notices and tries to cover the drawing with his body, but the teacher grabbed it from him before he could hide it. The teacher then held up the drawing in front of the class and shamed/embarrassed Brandon for being childish and/or perverted.

At this point, Brandon performs some introspection and realizes that drawing a detailed penis in the time before class starts really does make him look weird and not funny. He becomes embarrassed and ashamed. He doesn't say anything or act up from this point forward, and he's no longer enthusiastic or happy to be there.

At some point, I remembered that I was supposed to tell the teacher that the girl in the car from earlier was going to be late to class. I scanned the classroom to look for this girl to see if she was here already (meaning I don't have to make this announcement). Then, I realized I had no idea what this girl looked like because I never really looked at her face. Then, it occurred to me this girl might not even be in this particular class. I wound up saying nothing, possibly to the detriment of this nice girl who helped me find the classroom.

This post was edited by Terps on Aug 4 2022 01:14pm

Had a dream where there was one of those glass lawn globes on a pedestal in my kitchen, located right near the entryway in a bad spot. I thought to myself that this was a really bad place to put it, but it didn't occur to me that I myself had the authority to move it, this being my house and all.

I tried to navigate around it carefully in my wheelchair - which I did successfully several times - but inevitably I knocked it over eventually and the glass broke.

Out of nowhere, this Karen comes in ugly-crying and screaming unintelligibly at me in a shrill voice for breaking her globe. I didn't really have the confidence to yell at her back so I just brooked her invective.

--

Had a dream. I don't remember anything about it other than there was a "meat diary." Kind of woke up after that phrase was coined because it made me laugh

This post was edited by Terps on Aug 9 2022 04:43pm

Had a dream that took place in that timeframe when I knew my dad was going to die, but he wasn't dead yet.

My dad had decided to look into adopting some dogs, so he invited this lady who fosters dogs to show him what she had. She brought over three dogs: 2 medium-sized dogs and a mean little yapper. None of the dogs seemed to be trained, and as a pack (coupled with Elly and Luna), they were absolutely impossible to control. They were all excited and playing wildly.

As they were playing (and absolutely destroying shit in the background) I was trying to calmly and tactfully explain to my dad that I would not be able to take care of these dogs on my own. The implication was that he only had a year to live and would basically be forcing me to adopt these dogs once he died.

My dad responded to this by telling the lady he would adopt all three dogs. -__-

In life, my dad was very considerate and proactive in setting things up for after he died, so idk why I had this dream

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Had a dream where I had Chris and Brandon over to hang out. We were playing pool in the basement. The game was some kind of billiards game with partners, so Chris and Brandon were partnered together, while I was partnered with... Elizabeth from daycare (one of the favorites; fraternal twins with Sara). Elizabeth hadn't aged at all in my dream, so she was still ~6 y/o

While we were taking turns taking shots, Chris and Brandon were berating me nonstop. They'd talk about how bad I was at pool, how they knew I'd fuck up, and say like "what'd you expect?" whenever I missed a shot. They'd talk about how bad I was as a teammate and be like "I'm glad I'm not playing with [Terps]."

I remained silent and ignored them because any reaction would have only served to egg them on even more, but it was really getting to me and ruining my fun. On top of that, I wasn't even playing any worse than they were, but Elizabeth was 6 years old and fucking terrible as a teammate—she's the real reason our team sucked.

Anyway, eventually we decided to call it a night. As they were leaving, Chris pulled me aside to have a friend-to-friend conversation. He acknowledged how he and Brandon were being pretty hard on me back there. However, rather than apologize, Chris gave me advice on how I could better myself to become less hateable. I was too nonplused to really respond to this by saying anything other than "okay," but I was internally furious that he had the audacity to shift the cause of their rude behavior onto me.

Chris and Brandon left, and then I drove off too for some reason.

While I was driving to wherever I was going, it started to get extremely cold and snowy. Then, an epic gust of wind got under my car, creating lift, which sailed my car like 20 feet into the air, causing it to land on the roof and total the whole thing.

My first thought was that I couldn't let Chris and Brandon find out, since this would give them even more material to make fun of me. They'd talk about how I was such a bad driver, even though there was literally nothing I could do to stop this from happening.

I resounded myself to the fact that my car was totaled, but I couldn't ask for help, otherwise I'd be made fun of, so I set out to survive in the frigid, snowy, icy wilderness, which became my knew life. There were a bunch of other people whose cars had become totaled in the snow, so we formed a society and worked together to survive and rebuild.

--

Had a dream where we were back in daycare. Mr. Jeff had bought a lot of Magic the Gathering sealed product for the kids to build decks. All together, he must have spent like $10k

Obviously Chris and I were most excited, since we actually knew how to play while everyone else didn't know wtf they were doing.

I kind of bogarted this sealed box of Urza's Saga, since I knew it was full of OP cards. I was trying to build a sick B/W reanimator deck. Chris was doing the same thing in building his own deck, bogarting the good cards because he knew what he was doing. Mr. Jeff reprimanded us for not sharing.

After decks were made, all the kids started playing each other.

Somehow or another, things turned dark. Casting spells started to have real-world effects. Ultimately, an accident happened while I was playing my B/W deck, and some other kid died IRL. Law enforcement couldn't figure out how it happened, and the adults didn't know the details either, so nobody got in trouble... but me, Chris, and one other kid (a girl, not Brandon) knew the truth of what had happened. We all agreed to kept the secret to ourselves so no one would get in trouble.

Flash-forward like 20 years...

The daycare is being renovated or torn down (idr). The truth of what happened is buried somewhere on the daycare property, and if they find it, we might be implicated in killing that kid from 20 years ago.

The girl from daycare contacts me about the incident. She asks if I knew about the construction going on at the daycare, telling me that spooky things are happening at the construction site. She's pretty sure people are going to find out if we don't do anything.

The girl seduces me, and then she suggests that we kill Chris to tie up a loose end. With Chris out of the way, it's one fewer person to spill the beans. Plus, Chris was getting cold feet about keeping the secret; he was mulling if it might be better to tell the truth and get in front of the story, since it seemed inevitable that the public would find out how we each had a hand in killing that kid.

I had the most to lose: it was a spell from my B/W deck that killed the kid. Plus this girl was a smokin-hot goth chick, so I went along with the plan. I let her kill Chris.

After Chris's funeral, the girl stopped being seductive with me. She grew distant. Then, after an accident almost befell me while hiking in the woods (a tree nearly fell on me and killed me), I realized that I had walked into a trap (literally and figuratively). This was all part of the girl's plan: now she was out to kill me, the final loose end. I would be easier to kill with Chris out of the way.

It was either her or me at this point: kill or be killed. Wish I knew how the dream ended ;(

This post was edited by Terps on Aug 31 2022 11:30pm

Had a dream where my dad wanted to get even with the neighbors, so he made a boobytrap. He decorated an electric soap dispenser to look like an ancient Aztec artifact. Then, when you approach the artifact or try to touch it, it would shoot an arrow at you.

I expressed several concerns with this idea. First, the soap dispenser was poorly disguised; it was completely unconvincing as an ancient artifact—it was visibly made of plastic. Second, this was extremely dangerous; someone could be killed by this, even an unintended target. Undeterred, my dad installed the boobytrap outside.

The next day, I heard some commotion outside. I went out to find my neighbor driving his wife to the hospital—she had been shot in the kidney with an arrow. Apparently she trespassed on our property and looked at the boobytrapped faux-ancient soap dispenser.

My dad was very pleased with himself—excited even—but I was worried that the police would come to investigate.

Sure enough, the following day, some investigators came by to ask questions. My dad had hidden the boobytrap by this point, and he made both me and my mom swear not to tell anyone about it.

Investigators kept coming by and asking questions. It seemed like they were getting closer and closer to finding out what happened, but my dad was confident he'd get away with it. My mom was fully supportive of my dad and keeping the secret; however, I thought it was morally wrong to try to injure/kill the neighbor just for trespassing. Eventually, with investigators hounding us relentlessly, I spilled the beans and told them about the boobytrap. I felt bad about betraying my dad, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

I don't remember how the dream ended, although I do know my dad felt upset and betrayed.

This post was edited by Terps on Sep 15 2022 11:38pm