Why did the bald man punch his waiter?


Because he said he needs to pay.

I was at the doctor's office and they called in "Mr. McCoy". I told them, "wait, check his id!". "Why? " they asked.

"To make sure he's the real McCoy. "

Not mine, but:

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

i heard A Perfect Circle has a new cd coming out soon with songs about food.

its called "Mer de num nums"

I heard that kids are largely unaffected by the Coronavirus, and they're not sure exactly why.

Maybe its because they're not old enough to drink...?

Know why they're called "peons "?


Because you can peon their dignity.

It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 35 minute walk from the bar to my house.

The difference is staggering.

i cant help but wonder what TD Bank did to piss off that website for getting flowers delivered that they called themselves FTD...

i was out driving with a couple friends when it got really foggy. i said to one "man, i cant see jack shit..." my other friend replied "yeah, thats because i always close the door. you should do that, too..."

jack is such a funny guy...