What did one melon say to the other melon?

We can't elope

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender. A few sips later the voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us."

"It's the peanuts," answered the bartender. "They're complimentary."

miley cyrus made a cover of a classic folk song - ive been twerkin on the railroad.

What's Beethovens favorite fruit?

BA-Na-Na-Naaaa

Person 1: How does Moses make his tea?
Person 1: Hebrews it!
Person 2: Jew kidding me.
Person 1: No, Israeli how he makes it!
Person 2: Are you Syrias?
Person 1: I Canaan tell a lie!

This post was edited by ReturnFormer on Nov 23 2013 09:44pm

u got to be kitten me.

Yes! I love bad puns

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

This post was edited by Vilpin on Nov 23 2013 10:17pm

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

These make me smile

when is a door not a door?











when its ajar!