Antimatter should be classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

God made the tablets with the ten commandments on them, which were stored inside the ark of the covenant. i guess that makes Him the writer of the lost ark.

i much to prefer duvet covers to regular linens. i hate that sheet.

I want to get something to lock my valuables inside of, but I'm worried about how safe it is.

i got a set of wearable mouse facial features. i got an extra piece, though, they sent me three mouse-kit ears.

I tried to make butterscotch last night, but I couldn't get the butter to mix into the scotch.

jesh... -.- XD

My life is a bad pun

Why don't handymen wash their clothes?



Because they think a washer is just to take up space.

We're doing gardening again this year, after not doing for a couple years. Our old hose got a bunch of bends in it from sitting for a few years, so I bought a new one. The old one doesn't leak, though. I bet I could sell my kinky hose.