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Feb 10 2019 07:58am
Bad Puns
Are How
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Feb 24 2019 09:52am
A person who cures and smokes salmon should be called a loxsmith.
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Feb 25 2019 08:10am
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.

Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.

Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
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Mar 3 2019 01:15am
I've decided to go on a strict vegan diet - im only eating vegans.
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Mar 4 2019 03:36pm
shave butter = shave butt hair. coincidence? i think not...
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Mar 5 2019 07:33pm
I went to a hot spring in Japan. You're not allowed to urinate in the spring. If you do, there's a penile-tea.
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Mar 14 2019 09:42am
When bees feel like their honey is threatened they put out an amber alert.
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Mar 21 2019 09:42pm
I was eating a large donut today and inhaled it. I have big aspirations.
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Apr 8 2019 09:30am
i typed "duck" on my phone, but it got changed to "dick". i guess my autocorrect is gay, it prefers dick...
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Apr 22 2019 06:15pm
what did the cowboy rapper say to the shoe salesman?


i like big boots and i cannot lie...
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