Im gonna start an oatmeal brand that's gluten free, organic, and doctor- recommended. I'll call it Hippocratic Oats.

im also gonna start a car company, producing rip-offs of Audi's. I'll call them Innie's...

This is madness, no this is hypocrisy

When I finished attorney school, I decided I needed to update my look, but the men's clothing store kicked me out when i went in and told them that i was looking for a law suit.

What did mesquite say to his friend when he saw him?

Hi, Kory!

the was a farm that had a few sheep herding dogs. one of them, the alpha/leader, was very protective of the farm, not letting any other dogs on the property. One day, another sheep herding dog came sauntering onto the property and the alpha dog let him come. one of the other dogs said to him, "hey man, whats up? how come you're letting him in our territory?" he replied, "its ok, i know him, he and i go way back. he's my bro-collie."


a rose was on "who wants to be a millionaire?". a few questions in, he got stuck on one, so he decided to call-a-flower.

If you're concerned about your fried pastries - donut worry.

izual right?

remember star trek the next generation? i think Worf shouldve had a girlfriend named Marina.

If she gave berth the baby would be named pier...