A stunning european beauty was visiting the states. an american man comes up to her and comments on her beauty, adding that he especially appreciates her natural chest in contrast to the inflated balloons many american women seem to opt for. her english not being so good, she replies "thank you, i am flattened."

i was dining at a restaurant the other night and didnt receive all my cutlery. the waiter said that he was very concerned about this and would bring them right away, but in the end, no forks were given.

AHAHAHA !

I like sheldon cooper's: "Ive got more nervous ticks than a limes disease research facility"

my wife wanted me to make her some tea before, but i needed to use the bathroom, so i told her "P comes before T..."

i always read the word analagous as "anal jesus"...

Being a Jew is a religion. Fyi.

whats that got to do with anything?




also, to stay on-topic:

i came up with a great name for a couch and bed store today:




Sofa King Tired


or


Sofa King Comfortable

This post was edited by ReturnFormer on Mar 19 2014 08:08pm

interestingly, few people at work got this right away without needed a hint that there was something other than just a weird name there...

whats the least exciting type of wine?


bored-deaux...

just now:

my wife: i didnt know we still had nazis in the US.

me: sure. you just can nazi them...