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Vader only sent to the dark side to save his wife, didn't work, doesn't make sense for him to stay. The prequels are filled with so much bad writing, the dialogue is bad and cheesy and makes Vader and Palpatine look extremely silly. Prequel Palpatine is the most meme'd character for a reason.
Anakin falls to the dark side, starts slaughtering jedi, fails to save his wife and blames Obi-wan for it. He's so far gone it would be stupid for him to instantly turn back. You didn't say silly. You said stupid.
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Poe doesn't regress, try thinking from his pov instead of the audience pov. He doesn't know what the plan is, all he knows is that they are going to move just fast enough to stay out of weapon range... And that's it, it isn't a feasible plan because as stated in the film they will eventually run out of fuel and be slaughtered. He thinks they are waiting for Leia to revive so she can do something about it and he thinks that it will be too late by then. By the end of the movie he realizes his mistake and is taught a valuable lesson, which puts him in the right space to be picked as Leia's replacement in RoS.
Poe regresses. The last battle of TLJ is their only option to save themselves and he calls off the attack because he sees people dying around him. He makes this decision due to his superiors either chastising him for loses while taking out a superweapon at the beginning (which crazy enough saved them all) or withholding information needlessly that leads to his failed plan and more death. With his information in the first two instances he made the right decisions for the best outcomes. In the last battle he questions his judgement and calls off the only option they have. Without the Luke/crystal foxes ex-machina he has doomed them all to certain death.
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Finn's arc is the continuation of his arc from tFA, learning to be his own person with his own motivations. Most of this is shown through the relationship he develops with Rose, but then fans crying about "waaa rose bad waaa" so JJ threw that out of the window.
His arc goes nowhere in this movie. All of his development is in TFA in the form of going from trying to run away from his past to devoting himself to Rey. TLJ doesn't change that. All of his actions are in service to Rey.
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I'm really confused as to why Reys parents not being important in a galactic scale is supposed to upset her? Not sure why you bring that up tbh. Rey helping them escape at the end is by no means a hero moment and doesn't discard the themes of the movie... Like did you expect the entire resistance to be killed there? Han saved Luke at the end of epi5, does that discard the importance of that movie?
Every single star wars movie has the typical flying and characters being excited by it scenes, not sure why you're choosing specifically to pick on Rey for it. I don't remember this scene in the movie but it's been a while since I've seen it so.
I may have worded this incorrectly putting my gripe above the gripe I have with the general story telling. Rey has spent most of her life yearning for her parents return. Shes told (and believes it would seem) that they were shitty people that didn't love her and sold her off. This is after being disillusioned with Luke and she proceeds to fail at saving Kylo. The very next scene she is in shes shrugged all of that off. The only comparison you could really make is Luke in ep4 after Obi-Wan dies. That's comparing a 2 day relationship to a life long parent complex.
Maybe you were talking about ep4 when speaking of Han? In 5 they get completely beaten and actually end in a somber mood while clinging to hope.
As for Luke. Like I said that's the most subjective one. If we actually explored his fall it could have been incredibly satisfying. A 20 second "I almost assassinated my nephew" is basically a slap in the face imo. We skipped 30 years and come back to all of the OT heros being broken people and it all happens off screen.
I only read like 1 series with Luke in it from the EU. I never really considered any of the books meaningful. All of what I say is from the Skywalker saga.