Ukraine isn't seeking military dominance, just enough defense capacities to deter Russia from coming back. The big question is just how this could be accomplished.
It has become clear by now that the NATO countries aren't committed enough to the Ukrainian cause to risk actual war with Russia. Was kinda evident for years, all the Trump admin did was end the charade and make it official. On the flip side, the Europeans and Americans clearly don't trust Ukraine enough to equip them with actually strong weapons with which they could inflict truly hurting wounds on Russia in case of a future escalation. See all the dithering of Europeans about long-range missiles, or how it took years until they greenlit a small handful of older jets. And as yesterday's spat shows, Ukraine isn't fully trustworthy, so we really don't want to arm them up too much. See your point about the risk of a coup by the Azovites. (Which I think you're overstating, but it is indeed a possibility.)
It could've been accomplished in December 2021 --> no NATO membership for Ukraine. NATO refused to even start negotiations.
It could've been accomplished in March 2022, Istanbul peace deal. Ukraine didn't sign because they were told they would get all the support needed to defeat Russia.
The only option for Ukraine right now (because they lost US support) is a peace deal. Trump will force them. If Zelensky refuses he will lose more territory and more Ukrainians will get killed.
There's nothing the EU can do, they should've massively boosted defense spending to build a new military industrial complex from the ground up 3 years ago. Too late now.