Quote (Panther_is_kill @ Dec 1 2019 02:50pm)
I've been singularly focused on my job for some time now, and enjoy my freedom without being tethered to anyone or forced to compromise my lifestyle. As a result, my target demographic for dating over the past few years has been primarily comprised of married women. There's a seemingly unending supply of chronically unfulfilled housewives looking to validate their sense of worth through extramarital flings. I'm more than happy to fit that role, typically they're more passionate, less complicated, and there's usually no risk that they'll look for anything serious from me.
It's been great fun and hugely rewarding until recently.
Basically I met this lady at a party, who is friends w another married gal I had a fling with. She is absolutely drop dead gorgeous, and extremely extroverted though not in an annoying way. We developed a decent rapport very quickly, and one thing led to another. Have been seeing her for mind-blowing casual sex as often as possible since mid July. At first I was able to disengage fairly quickly after the deed, avoid cuddling or any other dangerous bonding behaviors, but slowly got more comfortable and have now really fucked up.
She is bar none the best, most passionate kisser I've ever had the pleasure of being with. Her body is incredible, she's fun, witty, and generally just makes me feel more alive and at peace with myself than anyone else.
I don't want to be responsible for destroying her marriage, and I don't think she intends to leave her husband at all, just fill a void in a loveless relationship with someone who will take care of her physical needs and make her feel desirable again.
The one thing I desire most is to beg her to leave her husband, but I can't ask due to pride and fear of what I'm fairly sure would be soul crushing rejection in addition to likely ending what I have with her now. Her husband is a high level banker and can provide her with a much better lifestyle, though apparently not satisfy her.
It's all I can think about and I find no joy in even my favorite hobbies. Everything just feels bland and unsatisfactory. I no longer care about other women. It's the first time in over a decade where I've felt like I wasn't in complete control of a relationship, usually I would pull the plug well beforehand but I can't bear the thought of not seeing her.
In summary, the one woman I can picture being with in a serious capacity is married w kids, only sees me as a sex toy, and I'm helpless to stop her from stringing me along like some kind of beta amateur.
I can feel my life spiraling out of control, but cannot seem to recenter, leaving me feeling hollow and unloved with no one to confide in outside of random kids on an obscure gaming forum sub
This is truly the lowest point of my entire life
Dont ruin what she's got going on.
She's on top of the world. She got money coming in from her husband and a sideman to fulfill her sexual needs. Keep your mouth shut and keep getting that 9u55y