Quote (MADmartigan @ Apr 12 2026 03:48pm)

So I just logged into D2jsp for the first time in five days. For me that felt like five years.
Had an eye procedure on Tuesday. Was in bed mostly all week while my vision was blurry.

Tried to get back into my normal routine of playing Hardcore Ladder Slasher. I'm still too tired.
Hopefully soon I can do all the things that I enjoy. It's just been a rough go lately. I'll stay strong.

The thought did cross my mind if this was the end. If I couldn't do it anymore. I was in bed thinking I was done.

I'm not where I want to be right now. Everything has taken a toll on me mentally. But I appreciate all of you guys.

Quote (Diutinus @ Apr 13 2026 09:01am)

Thinking of you Ryan!

If you need anything don't hesitate to reach out to me or Jay - seriously.

Quote (MADmartigan @ Apr 17 2026 12:54am)

Thank you. It means a lot. I'm having trouble sleeping right now. Almost 1 AM here in Texas.
And I have my next specialist visit at 11 AM today. I'm going to try and rest for a few hours.

I've been slowly trying to do all the things that I enjoy again. I'm just going through a difficult time right now.
But regardless of what happens. I just wanted to say thank you to everybody. I love you all and appreciate it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwkej79U3ek

Quote (MADmartigan @ Apr 17 2026 01:11pm)

I just came back home. I'd like to say everything is fine but this is going to require all my patience.
Basically I have another procedure on Tuesday. More follow ups in two weeks. I'm just so exhausted.

I'm about to pass out in bed and sleep the rest of the day. And it's barely 1:10 PM in the afternoon now.

I need something to cheer me up. Alanis Morissette maybe. I can't even force myself to smile. I'm not giving up but I feel defeated in every way possible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iuO49jbovg

Quote (Diutinus @ Apr 17 2026 01:18pm)

One day at a time, my friend.
It can be exhausting having to deal with physical issues and it definitely does take a mental toll.

Remain strong and genuinely reach out if you need anything bud I promise we're here, Jays even closer geographically

Quote (lolkggz @ Apr 17 2026 01:42pm)

Call the bluff. Ask for money, physical labor, or tangible items.

Quote (Diutinus @ Apr 17 2026 02:52pm)

I've sent Jay household items before, so if Ryan needs anything I'll be happy to help.