The devil has you in his grip atm brother. God can speak to you through others as well, and I think we as humans often get blinded by pride and the social conditioning we’ve been subjected to, to be a “man” and “I don’t need help, I can do this on my own”. I’m telling you brother, you aren’t going to win. The only way out is to let others in. We have to completely surrender our current life of self destruction and embrace the unknown of a better life and trust the process. We know what we need to do but the drug and the novelty of it has totally infiltrated and parasited our mind to the point of denying it, thus the parasite uses you to defend its self (the addiction). We have to ask for help and get help. The influences of the world, especially right now, are very very dark and getting away from it so that we can let our brain heal and perception return to normality. You do stimulants right? Stimulants warp your perception over time, twisting and contorting. That’s why we teeter on the edge of madness and cry out for help in destructive ways because we simply don’t know how to ask for help, and when we do, we’re afraid of having to face ourselves. You know what you need to do brother and you have to do it for yourself. Who cares what your parents think, you need you because you deserve it and everyone you love and care about deserve it too. Give yourself a true and authentic chance, acquire the tools you need to rebuild because what you have right now is obviously not working. You desperately want help, clearly, but you are afraid to take that leap of faith. Give yourself a chance man, like I said, you and everyone around you deserves it. You can be of great help in the future to those struggling with what you’re struggling with right now. It’s time to become others-centered. That is the cure for nihilism and drowning in self destructive pleasure.
There's a reason why this is happening
Fuck I can't real all this right now gimme 20 mins