lmao. god damn that would suck.
Oh I would choose another hemorrhage. I've actually had a few compliments from people saying I should keep it (even though it's out of my control) but they say it looks cool. But also fuck hemorrhoids.
Old friend of mine was using circular saw to cut some pieces of metal and small tiny piece ended up in his eye. Instead visiting the hospital in country with free healthcare, he squeezed lemons into his eyes to force crying and tears. His logic was that metal will then just fall out in one of the tears.
It worked. His eye looked like yours X10.
Tldr; if you wanna keep the looks, squeeze lemon in your eye