speaking of bee hinds
i used to date this girl named Rebecca
total qt 3.14
we went to a chilli cook-off. didnt even make chilli, just here to eat
anyways, im 16 bowls deep and at least a bag of kraft shredded cheddar cheese
the mixture of morning coffee, mimosa vape juice, and googled crockpot recipes hits me like a fucking truck
my stomach sounds like the world's worst EDM festival
gottagonow.exe
i had to remove the toilet paper so I could use it as a handle bar. day 1 of amaranth space program incoming
I colon cleanse so hard a medical commercial has less symptoms than what I'm experiencing
big problem though.. toilets not flushing, and there's no plunger
I don't wipe because the rash helps me feel alive
Go to the master bathroom, thank god a plunger
See panties on ground, quick sniff np
Homeowner walks in mid panties sniff, plunger in hand, smelling like ass
there's no coming back from this
Anyways, I had to break up with her and move to a different state
You guys ever been to a chilli cook off?