Dude I'm not gonna lie.. it sucks being short. Here's the thing though.. and it's funny how this works. I'm 5"5. And whenever you read this, you'll probably think, wow dude screw you, I'd give my left nut to be 5"5 instead of 5"2 1/2. And I know this, because I always think the same thing when people tell me how tall they are. Some of my best friend's heights are 5"9, 6"1, 6"2, and 6"1 1/2. When they tell me that shit, and then have the gall to add "But it's not really that big of a deal..." it makes me want to punch them. I always told them the multitude of things I would give and do to be just a few inches taller. That phrase ruins lives.. "just a few inches taller"..
Here's the thing though. Whenever they say "but it's not really that big of a deal..." they sincerely do mean that. It took me forever to figure it out. I would always respond immediately with, "Oh? It's not a big deal huh? Well how would you like to switch heights?" and their eyes would widen a little, tilt their heads back, and usually say some variation of "fuck no!" and I took this as proof that being short was the most awful thing on earth. It was really easy to convince myself that they thought that way because
I thought that way. It might be strange to think about, but the only one really discriminating against your height is you. You might think to yourself, "well no, I don't discriminate against height... why would I discriminate against what I am? I would just as easily be friends with a short guy or date a short girl than I would anyone else!" and that might be true. But all you have to do to discriminate is have negative emotion for one person over one aspect of them. That person can easily, and usually is you.
Think about it. If you're like me, you probably hated yourself for being short. How ridiculous does that sound? Hating someone for having downs syndrome or hating someone because they have freckles sounds ridiculous. And it is. And believe it or not, the same concept applies. Why would you purposely come down on yourself for something that you didn't have any control over whatsoever?
I always thought about how much easier things would be for me if I were taller. Girls would like me more. I'd be looked up to more... literally. And it's probably true. If I were taller, those things would happen. But it wouldn't be because my height increased. My height would increase, true, but it would immediately change my confidence, outlook.. everything. So really, it's not your height that's stopping you.. it's yourself. Your brain. Your mind that believes being tall is a prerequisite for having all these things you want to be and want to have. You can be all of that and still be short.
Truuuuuust me. I would read forums everywhere about men who had the same problem, and people would tell them these exact things. And they responded the way I used to respond. Which was something along the lines of "that's bullshit! you have no idea how much people care about how tall you are, especially if you're a male, and you really only notice if you AREN'T tall!"
I had all sorts of retorts like that. And I wanted someone to come back at me and tell me SOMETHING that would just magically change my mind. It took me a long time to figure out that there wasn't anything anyone could tell me that would change anything.
I had and still kind of do have a problem with my height. It goes way back to some seriously personal stuff, but it boils down to basically my dad was short too, and wasn't a very good father figure. All the other men I knew as a kid were tall. I mean, it wasn't hard to beat my dad's height.. which was 5"2 1/2 btw... mainly my best friend from my childhood and his dad. They were both tall, and I always looked up to them because they had the nuclear family that I always idolized.
Long story short, I grew up worshiping tall and hating short. So naturally, whenever my growth spurts started happening (or lack there of), there became a problem.
I've hated myself for being short for a very long time. What really helped me was two main things. The realization that you can be short and still have that same amount of success as tall people, and the realization that there are girls out there who wont auto-friend zone you because of your height.
At first, I didn't believe either of those things was even remotely true. It took a great amount of effort to open my eyes big enough to see that there are men out there who are short, but it just doesn't bother them like it did me. It literally wasn't an issue for them.. and because of that, people treated them the same way as everyone else. Once I had this epiphany, immediately names from all sorts of memories started surfacing.. like this one kid from high school who was a fucking pimp but was literally shorter than me. He was charismatic. That's the thing, if your personality glows, all of that other shit becomes irrelevant. Kids would tease him because he was short, but it blew their mind because he accepted himself, and he was proud of the fact that he was short. And because he liked being short, people began to like him short as well. He accepted himself, and people followed suit. Trust me, this is far from the only example. I'm just trying to convince you that your hang up over being short is fucking nothing. It may be hard to embrace but you literally have no choice. Have you ever seen those movies where there's two dudes, and they hate each other at first, but then they begin to bond and become good friends? That's kind of how it was with my height. I learned to love it.
That's how it was with my friends, whenever we talked about how short I was. I was literally, waiting, ready to pounce on them the MOMENT they said that they thought lesser of me because I was short in some form. I thought lesser of me because I was short and I wanted so bad for them to confirm those beliefs. And I didn't even know why. But the thing is, they never did, because they simply didn't think lesser of me because I was short. They accepted me for who I physically appeared to be, because they were friends with my personality. My height didn't matter to them one bit, and most people feel the same way. I took when they said they wouldn't trade heights with me as proof that they felt being short was a bad thing, and I clinged to that for a long time. But the fact is, that didn't mean they thought being short was a bad thing, it simply wasn't something they would want to be. Thinking that is as ridiculous as asking them if they would want freckles, and then concluding that because they said no, they judge people who do have freckles as lesser than them. Totally and completely untrue.
The other thing I was hesitant to believe was that there were women out there who wouldn't friendzone the everliving shitsticks out of me because I was short. At one point in time I made it a little mission of mine to ask every woman and girl I met / saw / knew what their opinion was on dating short / shorter guys. Me, being super paranoid and self hating, expected all the answers to be something along the lines of, "Well, he needs to be at least 4 inches taller than me so I can wear heels and still be slightly shorter than him" but the fact was that I got a shit ton of different answers. They varied from "I don't really care" to "As long as he's at least my height" to "As long as he's maybe an inch or two taller" to "He needs to be at least 6 ft." and even a couple "I actually prefer shorter guys."
But that wasn't enough. Girls said it right in front of me, to my short ass face, and I still didn't believe it. My inner voice told me they're lying.. they're just saying that to be nice... what they say and what they do are two different things.. I've thought it all. Again, this is another one of those things that I simply refused to believe.. I thought height was a critical factor for women.
Now I'm not going to lie to you and just feed you bullshit. There are a lot of girls out there who are shallow, and they will either lie and tell you some vague answer like "ehhhhhh maybe possibly idk if he's really really awesome" and some will be blatant. They'll come right out and say "he needs to be this height or no deal." And I'm sure you've heard the whole "if they can't accept you for who you are then they don't deserve you" schpeel but it really is true. The girls who have these ridiculous demands for something as stupid as your height are the same girls that have retarded ideologies ingrained in their skulls like "the guy should always be the provider and take care of the girl" - it's true. They really are doing you a favor by excluding you from their dating circle. And yes, there are some good girls out there that just can't get over you being short. It is a deal breaker to them. And it's not their fault just as much as it's not your fault that you're short. Don't hate them for it, just simply respect it and move on. If they are genuinely good people and have some sort of value as a person, then befriend them. #1, you can always use more friends, especially friends that are girls, and #2 they might have friends that don't care. Hell, if you make a good impression on her, she'll keep an eye out for you and possibly have recommendations.
But the fact is that there are girls out there, and plenty of them, that don't care. And there are even more girls out there who do care, but once they get to know you, it ceases to be an issue because they've fallen for your personality. Trust me, it can happen, and does all the time. All you have to do is look. You can even, from the comfort of your chair, google "famous couples short guy tall girl" or some variation and there are hundreds. There's plenty of short famous people who are short and still considered attractive. You just need to know that it CAN and DOES happen, and it CAN and WILL happen for you. Just work on yourself, get passed it, move on, and stop letting it affect you negatively.
Sorry for the TL;DR life story, but it is something I have struggled with and feel very passionately about. If you did read it, then awesome
I sincerely hope you find peace with it.