judging by your use of words, you are looking to build a caster instead of a hybrid (melee/healer)
weapons: intelligence
armor: intelligence
charm: any attack charm with enhanced effect (over 120ee)
acc charm: any heal charm with enhanced effect (over 120ee i would caution against using wild heals though)
statting: put your first 10 stat points into vitality so as to reduce the chance of getting 1 hit KOed by a well monster. after you have done this, place the remaining stats into intelligence
the character you probably would want to play is a magician since it has the highest mana pool for a feeder.