Quote (rlebar @ Feb 23 2015 03:52pm)
there are a couple of her posted in the BB thread. She's pretty.
Couple thoughts after skimming through the whole bb thread.
First off, the ex had to have known the possibility that the kid was the other dudes. She's a complete POS for that fact. She probably just wanted to have a life with you.
second, what you say about being separated. Depending on how the 2 of you defined it, she didn't cheat on you. She just lied and led you to believe a child was your's when she had to have known there was a possibility that it wasn't
She's a POS for said fact. And other things since that you mentioned made it seem like she was kind of a shitty person to be with, but nothing overly exteme outside of the MASSIVE lie.
You are also a piece of shit. You cheated on her multiple times with multiple women well before you decided to divorce her and well before you knew the child wasn't yours. That and you said yourself that you don't have much of an attachment to the child and justify it with some BS about having some sort of spider senses that somehow because it wasn't your genetics and blah blah blah. Bottom line is, maybe you're not cut to be a dad and maybe not even cut out for long term relationships. Just admit the truth. There's nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is built the same. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. Not everyone is meant to be married for 30-40 years. Don't lie about who you are though. Maybe things will change if you find the right woman. Maybe not. I'll straight up call ya out on the bonding stuff with the child.
You won't get much sympathy from me man. Your situation sucks, but it's 2 shitty people doing shitty things creating shitty circumstances for an innocent child who is totally caught in the crossfire.
Look I've had exes cheat on me, and I've had many chances to cheat on them, and could have easily justified it because they cheated and I was breaking up with them anyways but I didn't because there's just no excuse for cheating.
A man has 2 things in this world. His balls and his word. And he ought to never break either one for anything, ever. You committed to be failthful when you married her and you broke that committment. Shame on you. I'm not saying you deserved this, you didn't so don't take it like that.
As shitty as it is. The other dude has a right to know he's got a kid.
For what it's worth, I wouldn't father the kid after all that shit happened either. To me, that would be a massive mind fuck.
Also, in before the other dude isn't the father either and everyone realizes the ex was the town bicycle. Think about it though... why else would she not want him to know? Maybe it's not him... and she's more full of shit than you think.
this is why i post here. i'm not getting this kind of honest from most people i know in real life. thanks bro. really appreciate your feedback