Yeah.. it's okay to talk about it but don't be posting pictures. That could get you into trouble.

how/why?
not arguing, just seriously curious. this is the first time i'm hearing this even out of the 20 page thread on the misc

This is super fucked and I'm sorry you're in such a shitty situation, OP.

This was the one good thing to come out of the thread. Put a stupid grin on my face mid-class

Sorry OP. That's terrible. Tho can you take pics of innocent child down? Doesn't deserve this imo.

sure man. i can respect that. removed

Don't want to give her any ammo against you

my lawyer said it didn't matter.

God awful man.. like others have said play it off. Let her be mad all she wants, no need to fuel the fire. One way or another karma will sort out the rest

there are a couple of her posted in the BB thread. She's pretty.

Couple thoughts after skimming through the whole bb thread.

First off, the ex had to have known the possibility that the kid was the other dudes. She's a complete POS for that fact. She probably just wanted to have a life with you.
second, what you say about being separated. Depending on how the 2 of you defined it, she didn't cheat on you. She just lied and led you to believe a child was your's when she had to have known there was a possibility that it wasn't
She's a POS for said fact. And other things since that you mentioned made it seem like she was kind of a shitty person to be with, but nothing overly exteme outside of the MASSIVE lie.

You are also a piece of shit. You cheated on her multiple times with multiple women well before you decided to divorce her and well before you knew the child wasn't yours. That and you said yourself that you don't have much of an attachment to the child and justify it with some BS about having some sort of spider senses that somehow because it wasn't your genetics and blah blah blah. Bottom line is, maybe you're not cut to be a dad and maybe not even cut out for long term relationships. Just admit the truth. There's nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is built the same. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. Not everyone is meant to be married for 30-40 years. Don't lie about who you are though. Maybe things will change if you find the right woman. Maybe not. I'll straight up call ya out on the bonding stuff with the child.

You won't get much sympathy from me man. Your situation sucks, but it's 2 shitty people doing shitty things creating shitty circumstances for an innocent child who is totally caught in the crossfire.

Look I've had exes cheat on me, and I've had many chances to cheat on them, and could have easily justified it because they cheated and I was breaking up with them anyways but I didn't because there's just no excuse for cheating.

A man has 2 things in this world. His balls and his word. And he ought to never break either one for anything, ever. You committed to be failthful when you married her and you broke that committment. Shame on you. I'm not saying you deserved this, you didn't so don't take it like that.

As shitty as it is. The other dude has a right to know he's got a kid.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't father the kid after all that shit happened either. To me, that would be a massive mind fuck.

Also, in before the other dude isn't the father either and everyone realizes the ex was the town bicycle. Think about it though... why else would she not want him to know? Maybe it's not him... and she's more full of shit than you think.

This post was edited by rlebar on Feb 23 2015 02:57pm

Just logged in to chime in on this brother. Heard from the guys what happened, sucks dick. Really sorry to hear man. But you just gotta move on, learn from it and grow.

We legit just went over a case regarding this. The girl in good faith believed this guy to be the dad, even though she did not know for certain. Odd shit, courts are usually in favor of the girl. But the girl reasonably relied on the guys promise to pay child support and they dated, and when he found out the kid was not his, the court still forced him to pay child support.

Saw a few people on BB post about that, only read a couple pages.

The courts reasoning for this has a couple of factors.

1. (public policy) They ultimately want someone to be paying child support, here it seems likely that she may know who the father is, so it's not like no one will be paying.
2. The wife in the case, reasonably relied on the promise to pay child support. Due to that, there was a contract between the husband and wife. Even though it was based on a false fact. (she in good faith believed he was the father). Did she know you weren't? If you can get that fact out, then that would pretty much close the issue.

While the 1st doesn't apply to your situation (you are gonna want to actually know for certain who the dad is), the 2nd might. While she says she doesn't even want your money, that is now man. Think of it, shit just came crashing down, she isn't wanna increase the hate for her right now. But think a year down the line, she might have a change of heart and want the money. The statute of limitations is at least a year, so she has time to decide if she wants it or not. I'm sure your lawyer knows all this, but might be worth to bring it up.

anyways man, best of luck.

PS: make sure your lawyer isn't a POS and is doing his work. Where did you find him and have you done any research? You're gonna want to get a lawyer or a firm that specializes in this type of work (family law/divorce)

This post was edited by MrBobMarley on Feb 23 2015 03:37pm