Quote (fingerling @ Dec 17 2014 01:10am)
i alrdy went to jail and paid 4k in fines for marijuana im too scared to mes with it. also i had a supply and it made me apranoid as fuk i wouldnt leave my room to use bathroom i was pissing in old pop bottles
That's good! You should have kept going with it! You may have broke through
One thing I've noticed with cannabis is that in certain people it forces them to grow as a person. That's why some people can't smoke because they get robust paranoia and anxiety from its use. It's bc the weed is basically "shoving" those suppressed feelings/emotions up to your conscious attentiveness and almost forces you to deal with it.
Many people don't have these issues at all. Conversely, a majority just sits back, relaxes, and enjoys the high, realizing you can't fight that. But it does over time absolutely help you grow and inferring from your psychotic posts, that would probably help you. Plus weed can be an antidepressant via chronically increasing neurogenesis and increasing blood flow to certain limbic regions
Quote (fingerling @ Dec 17 2014 01:13am)
Specific Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms
nn substanc to induce
Hmm
Don't really have any of those symptoms to any significant degree, apart from a normal, ephemeral expectation erratically
But what I left out of my post is that I thought my dissociation stemmed from stress, so it makes sense. It was also partly having the SAME schedule, as I was highly busy during that time, for a few weeks straight with like likerally no variation. That seemed to get to me lol, like I got caught in my own world that was so distinct or care-free to what was happening to everyone else.
This post was edited by Balla on Dec 16 2014 11:18pm