GF of 5 1/2 years just broke up with me, cheer me up...

I was gay last night, but then, i took a pencil and go emotional over it of how straight it is.

her loss

Just took a sh1t 10 mins ago, even my poop was straighter than my gay personality..

good thing you wasn't at the Orlando gay club.. you dodged a bullet this time

gnarly. bl mate

pic of her before we comment

This. Preferably newts

This.

Holy shit though, I can't imagine how difficult this is to deal with. OP, please take a few days to be sad all you want, but then pull your ass together and start focusing on what you have in life. Everything goes on, including work, family, friends, hobbies. If she decided to dump you after this much time, there must have been a deep rooted issue that she thought can't be fixed anymore. You need someone you're more compatible with, that's all.

Also please don't get drunk.