Quote (Firaga @ Jan 5 2015 05:03pm)

it's not 'they' who invites me

it's 'he' who invites me, 1 of my true friends that i can even call a friend

Quote (BuTcHeS @ Jan 5 2015 03:05pm)

Firaga is bae.

Quote (Firaga @ Jan 5 2015 03:06pm)

u guys can think im a troll. doesn't change the fact that what i post here are my true thoughts 100% unfiltered

why do i do this? because i need to just let it out somewhere, and jsp has been that place for me for many years. few years ago i was posting these threads in league of legends subforum, but security there has gotten a lot tighter, and now i cannot make threads there without getting it insta-closed and getting me a warn. it took me 60% warn to realize that i should stay away from league subforum, and then found a miraculous place called 'general chat'

Quote (AnimeFTW @ Jan 5 2015 05:05pm)

Firaga is bae

Quote (BuTcHeS @ Jan 5 2015 03:07pm)

I just remember I made this for you, please use it.

http://i60.tinypic.com/29cqp1i.gif

Quote (Firaga @ 6 Jan 2015 00:06)

u guys can think im a troll. doesn't change the fact that what i post here are my true thoughts 100% unfiltered

why do i do this? because i need to just let it out somewhere, and jsp has been that place for me for many years. few years ago i was posting these threads in league of legends subforum, but security there has gotten a lot tighter, and now i cannot make threads there without getting it insta-closed and getting me a warn. it took me 60% warn to realize that i should stay away from league subforum, and then found a miraculous place called 'general chat'

Quote (Firaga @ Jan 5 2015 04:30pm)

on the real tho

i do'nt think any of you have been alone for as long as i have so none of u can relate

can u imagine... spending holidays alone for past decade

can u know what it feels like to be afraid to go hang out with friends who all have gfs and talk about s3x and i have nothing to say

can u know what it feels like to go to some ceremony and literally all of the friends there have gfs they bring and i have no one

i can't even remember the last time i went to movie theatre

not to mention the fact that i have never had dinner with a girl before

what really kills my mind is that the things i want in life are these simple kind of things. i have no great ambitions or desire to become a billionaire, or president, or to become world-famous. i just want the simple things like being able to go on dates and stuff and to know that i am not alone. yet it is outrageous to me that i cannot have even that, just becuz im ugly and socially inadequate. i am the most awkward human in the world, i only have 2 friends that i feel 100% comfortable with and that only happened becuz those 2 friends looked over my awkwardness and kept with me even if i was awkward and socially retarded. it took me 2 years for me to completely open up to them.

why am i like this? why was i born like this? if it takes me 2 years to open up JUST to be a friend, then how much longer is it gonna take me to open up to a girl, or which girl is even going to have enough patience to deal with my bullshit existence for over 2 years, and even then, which girl is going to accept my feelings when i do open up?

i've SRSLY liked (and i mean seriously) about 7 girls and they all said no, and it's obvious. i am ugly, i am not funny, i do not bring anything to the table as a person, and they won't want to have a bf like that.

tl;dr: my own personality is a flaw in every aspect. i have accepted that there is nothing that can save me. i will not get a gf tomorrow, or the day after. and it shall remain like this for maybe until i die.

literally the only thing that keeps me living on is the fact that i hate feeling hunger, and i eat just to quench my hunger, not becuz i actually want to live. i do'nt even have anything to live for