Quote (Japrone @ May 4 2016 10:44am)
Would anyone like a slice of Bisbano's pizza?
So.... I was grabbing a free sandwich at Bisbanos, but I was in the mood for pizza... good one. Bisbanos was right next door. So I walked in. I looked through the menu and noticed that their pizzas were 800 fg for five slices, not including bisbano bread (hotdog buns made into breadsticks).... which is a good bit more than the best pizza shop in town, Little Caasers. The hostess, Lauren, let me know that you cannot sit inside and eat there unless you purchase a minimum of 1,000 fg per person, which I only spent 800.... which in and of itself was ridiculous. Who puts a minimum order for dine-in? Apparently only this place. I also noticed that the dine-in menu had a 10" dick for Lexi, but the same pizza was only 600 fg for females. The lady said, "They're good, they are all white meat from Ant himself." I don't know any place that isn't all white meat in this hick town.... I walked out.....
But it wasn't over. I sat in my car for a moment and decided that while I was there, I may as well get their Bisbano Bread because now driving someplace else would be a waste of time and gas. So I went back in.... hoping they were made with special cinnamon roll icing for him to lick off my finger. I told the waiter (Damon), in a joking manner, that I decided to give the hole in one pizza a try! He told me that the two people in their dining room (there were only two) are regulars and have the Bisbano Bread and Cait Cucumber. So I decided to give it a shot. 900 fg for Bisbano Bread with extra Bisbano licking icing. And 600 fg for a to-go pizza for a friend, Mason.
While I went to chat with the two regulars to see what the food was like, my friend Mason heard the hostess say with an attitude, "God, they're just Bisbano dick shaped breadsticks." Yeah. They are. Breaddicks you want me to pay 1,250 fg for. So no... they're not covered in human icing for that charge, good lorde. When you charge more than anybody in the city for that special sauce.
She also was caught saying, "Well they're better than the Pizza place from Toy Story." I would freaking hope so!!!! You're kidding me right now!!!
She gives me the receipt to sign. And places an "x" next to the tip line and total line. If they think they're getting tips when they are forcing you to take it to go, they have another thing coming.
So we get the food and eat outside since we ordered the pizza off the to go menu.... so it was 600 fg instead of 900 fg... making it impossible for us to dine in. Even though I spent 2,000 fg for 2 people. If we had wanted to, the pizza would immediately be 300 fg more, just to sit in their restaurant.
The Bisbano Breaddicks. There were five. Two of them were tiny wanna-be dicks. One was a little bigger, and only two were good sized. And while they tasted decently, they are identical to other dicks elsewhere that charge much less, and serve them with cold water.
They didn't warrant me to pay 900 fg for them.
So.... because of the ridiculousness of this place.... I won't be going back. If you want to completely over-pay for food that is almost as bad as watching people perform anal sex on chaturbate, but not much better.... this is where you want to eat.