I am holding onto a resentment I have against my Cousin.
My Dad spend three decades building his small [family] business upon what his father started.
My Dad was in an accident two and a half years ago and never fully recovered.
My Cousin (30 years old) has been at the business for eight or nine years now and due to some events he pretty much runs the business as he sees fit.
I can remember times hanging out with my cousin picking the seeds out of his dirt weed and drinking water from the faucet in his apartment.
Now he smokes the best weed he can find, has new shoes every month, new clothes, new hats, goes to the bars n clubs, drives my Dad's $40,000.00 truck, has a retarded huge LED HDTV and all this other material bullshit.
I've been off the drugs and a persistent member of NA for seven months now. I'm learning how to live without drugs.
I can see very clearly that my Cousin is dependent on his dope.
I come around the shop pretty regularly and I help out when I am needed but I don't work there anymore.
My cousin does the best he can but he's running the business into the ground.
I've spoken with him about some of the hard feelings I have against him, but I can't seem to let go of my resentments.
It's a family business and it should be ours but he thinks he is the boss, he has said it quite blatantly.
I feel jealous of what my Cousin gets, he is in denial about his drug addiction and I feel entitled to my share since it was all build by my Dad.
He's my family and I want to heal our relationship but I can't figure out how to drop my resentments, I suffer from them more than anyone and it does hurt.