Quote (BuTcHeS @ Jan 5 2015 05:22pm)

No.

You got me all serious now.

nn joke

Quote (Hoooookay @ Jan 5 2015 03:22pm)

I feel like your name, stars, and avatar are your clothes and you change it everyday to something cute. 

Quote (obisent @ Jan 5 2015 05:14pm)

I find this hard to believe, don't you have family/fellow gamer friends?

Quote (Firaga @ Jan 5 2015 04:30pm)

on the real tho

i do'nt think any of you have been alone for as long as i have so none of u can relate

can u imagine... spending holidays alone for past decade

can u know what it feels like to be afraid to go hang out with friends who all have gfs and talk about s3x and i have nothing to say

can u know what it feels like to go to some ceremony and literally all of the friends there have gfs they bring and i have no one

i can't even remember the last time i went to movie theatre

not to mention the fact that i have never had dinner with a girl before

what really kills my mind is that the things i want in life are these simple kind of things. i have no great ambitions or desire to become a billionaire, or president, or to become world-famous. i just want the simple things like being able to go on dates and stuff and to know that i am not alone. yet it is outrageous to me that i cannot have even that, just becuz im ugly and socially inadequate. i am the most awkward human in the world, i only have 2 friends that i feel 100% comfortable with and that only happened becuz those 2 friends looked over my awkwardness and kept with me even if i was awkward and socially retarded. it took me 2 years for me to completely open up to them.

why am i like this? why was i born like this? if it takes me 2 years to open up JUST to be a friend, then how much longer is it gonna take me to open up to a girl, or which girl is even going to have enough patience to deal with my bullshit existence for over 2 years, and even then, which girl is going to accept my feelings when i do open up?

i've SRSLY liked (and i mean seriously) about 7 girls and they all said no, and it's obvious. i am ugly, i am not funny, i do not bring anything to the table as a person, and they won't want to have a bf like that.

tl;dr: my own personality is a flaw in every aspect. i have accepted that there is nothing that can save me. i will not get a gf tomorrow, or the day after. and it shall remain like this for maybe until i die.

literally the only thing that keeps me living on is the fact that i hate feeling hunger, and i eat just to quench my hunger, not becuz i actually want to live. i do'nt even have anything to live for

Quote (Hoooookay @ Jan 5 2015 05:22pm)

I feel like your name color, stars, and avatar are your clothes and you change it everyday to something cute. 

Quote (Firaga @ Jan 5 2015 06:24pm)

i am living alone. have been living alone for many years now. parents moved back to korea a while back after i got into university. there was one hard time where i was literally out of money in my bank (absolutely nothing. not even enough for lunch) and had to sell my maplestory account just to feed myself for a few more days. and i refused to ask my parents for monetary help. that was when i decided that even if my life sucks, i need to be able to feed myself. that same motivation made me decide on going to graduate school.

i was almost homeless lol. i will never forget that, and that fear will always remain within me. that's seriously when i changed my outlook on life. i hope that none of you have to go through that kind of hell, knowing that you might not even be able to live tomorrow. living life JUST FOR THE SAKE OF LIVING is hard enough. that is my motto today, and will be forever on.

actually it's really funny. maybe i deserve to be like this forever. i was a real brat to my parents back then. i was mean, i was cruel, and i was always never giving in. but now i realize exactly how much they have done for me, and exactly what they sacrificed, and tolerated just for me. that is why i will never EVER tell them that i am this lonely and sad. I always put up a facade, create an illusion to them that i am doing well, and happy to be alive even if im not. because i swore to myself that i will never EVER burden them ever. I haven't asked them for a single penny (even on my bday) for couple years now, and convince them every week that i am fully independent, because i am.

but i will never ever tell them that i am sad, and sometimes even think about just ending my life here, that i feel my life has no point. they will always remember me as someone they can be proud of. it does hurt me inside, but it's better that it hurts me, than it hurts my parents. they loved me so, and if i ever have a family, i hope that i can be as much loving as they were to me.

Quote (LifeStory @ Jan 5 2015 05:26pm)

i think i hear a whaaambulance in the distance...

Quote (Komachi @ Jan 5 2015 05:22pm)

Quote (Firaga @ Jan 5 2015 04:27pm)

this is actually the first time i posted this on jsp. i usually just keep it at 'im virgin and i suck at life'

if i die tomorrow, at least know that you guys are much better than i am

Quote (Firaga @ Jan 5 2015 06:27pm)

this is actually the first time i posted this on jsp. i usually just keep it at 'im virgin and i suck at life'

if i die tomorrow, at least know that you guys are much better than i am