I'm the supervisor.
Dude stumbles into my office at 8am, his hair scraggly and unshaven.
I hand him a cup. He says thank you I'm thirsty. I hand him a urine test.
I start fantasizing about sports cars and my fantasy team 'taking off' 'this year'
Dude stumbles into the bathroom. He fumbles with his junk. I fumble with my junk.
I hear what sounds like a bowel movement being sucked through a straw.
I shrug and look at my watch ... 8:10am what is taking this guy so long?
I hear what sounds like an icy hot pack being prepared. Must be lunch time.
It's 8:12am. Dude stumbles out of the bathroom and thanks me for the drink.
I look down at his pale mellow yellow urine, hating my job for not starting later.
Is it hot enough? My coffee wasn't. Best not to think about my down unders.
Dude 'thanks me' for 'this great opportunity'. I take a shot of jager out of my desk.
It's gonna be a long summer, I shrug, mind fumbling like my qb on last year's roster.
Dudebro waits for his girlfriend at the bus stop. Or his grandma. I think to myself,
welcome to the team.