Do you even Love Line

Brother you pretty much hit the nail on the head, Ive been thinking shes just feeding him the same crap that shes been feeding me

+ there is a sub Forum for this

Im sorry what???

Did not read. But need to find new women kidlesss preferred

Ah I see I didnt see the love line subforum, sorry

Yeah kids do make things 100x harder, But I treated them like they was my own

I'll take my post to the love line, Sorry and thanks people

Hey bud, just a few things:

1) it's his kid, not yours. If he wants to be a part of that kid's life then kudos to him and he should be allowed to as long as he's level-headed, isn't abusive, etc. Kids definitely come first and that's something the 2 of them share, he's always going to be a part of her life because of the kid they had together.
now that being said, there's a very fine line between letting him seeing the kid, and her wanting to see him. This honestly sounds like she's fooling around with him. I don't know you, or them, but from an outside perspective from someone who just went thru something very similar, she's probably cheating on you with him.
I mean hell, they have history together and the dude is over there at 11pm to "see the kid"? the kid should be in bed at that time.

2) If I were you I would cut your losses and just get out. Even if she isn't sleeping with him, she is making you suspect it (for a reason) and doesn't care how it makes you feel. She doesn't respect you and it's going to hurt more if you stay with her and she keeps doing this stuff.

I just got out of a 3.5 year relationship to a girl I was engaged to. We moved to a new city together (after living together for 2 years) and she moved ahead of me by 3 weeks so we didn't have to commute for our jobs until I found work there.
The day I moved over there I found out she had been spending the past 3 weeks with another dude, drinking over at his house, and it was causing serious problems in our relationship. We talked about it, she decided we better sleep in seperate rooms, and then she went over to his place, got drunk, and stayed the night at his place.
So I left her, and it hurt like hell. But atleast I got out when I did because I was in a really fucking dark place last weekend.

Get out while ya can man, it's not worth it.

If they're trying to co parent its not uncommon to have family time, even though they aren't together. It sounds to me like you're extremely paranoid she's cheating on you with him. The way i see it you have reletively few options.

1. If she's cheating or you can't get over him being there alone with her (but not doing anything) let her go. She's better off without you and vice versa given trust issues.

2. Be ok with her being alone with him, aka trust her to not suck him off in the shower.

Attempting to drive a wedge in between a mother and father because you're insecure that shes fucking him is pretty unfair to the child in the situation. if it were simply an ex bf situation with no kid you'd be entirely in the right. Perhaps he lives in a shithole or is even homeless and doesn't want to take the kid to that environment, but still wants to see his kid. Or maybe she's still banging him every time you guys get in a fight about her not banging him and she needs to be dumped. But there really shouldnt be an issue with him being there unless you don't trust her, in which case since there's kids involved that you're on deck to raise get away from it. You can't raise kids with a broad you dont trust on a basic level.