I tell myself I'm going to go to the doctor to get anti depressants but then after work I just smoke a bunch of weed and not make appointment with doctor

I just think going on medication is a better option than quitting my job :/

weed is less damageable than anti-depressants

Your weed is medicine what u thinking man?

In soviet russia, weed smokes you!

Don't do either, keep your job. But maybe start looking for a new one in the mean time.

Work out what is causing you to feel depressed, and start making plans to change it.

Accept you will probably never be in the same situation as people who were born with more privilege than you, but you can still live a decent life.

Maybe you have to humble yourself and create more realizable goals, live them, love them and in so doing you will love yourself and be able to share your life with others.

Ya that's why I smoke so much of it and haven't taken pills yet.... But I'm seriously going to quit my job

I still think getting therapy would be a good option. That way you've got someone you can speak to in confidence without fear of judgement about things. That way you two can together find out what is causing you to be so depressed.

Except american therapy always suggests more pills as the answer

this is solid advice when fused with this advice!

I decided to quit my job to figure out my shit and put myself back on the right path. I hated everything about where I ended up so lived frugal to pay my shit off and now have lots of time to sort things out eg money to live without worry. I know you don't like spending your savings, but its an option if you really wanna get your self figured out. I discovered I might even qualify for EI sickness benefits which would be awesome.