Quote (Sakuraba @ 19 Apr 2016 20:41)
first, you have to tell us why you get the feeling or anxiety and worry in your stomach, it can't be for nothing.
i burnt my bridges with a girl who i had feelings for. which is good because we were toxic for eachother. her brokenness only amplified my own when i was around her. i have my hands full dealing with my own shit right now and i simply have no room for anyone else in my heart. she could sense it so she started avoiding me. i made our last conversation really ugly so it could mark the end of everything. i really don't regret this, just the fact that i couldn't help her in the end. i fucking bleed every time i think about how she's hurting.
i'm very compassionate towards people who are going through rough times and are naturally weak. some of it comes from witnessing what toxic relationships can be like from a very early age. i've been hated by my own mother since an early age, as being the reason for her inability to live a good life. she even tried to abandon me at one point so she could start a new life with a man, but i don't really care about that anymore. however it did do a number on my feelings of self-worth and it keeps showing whenever i'm put under pressure. so naturally i feel the duty to try and fix everything by giving every part of myself to that goal, even if it ends up sabotaging me in the long run. in return i request the attention and care i never received from my parents. it's really hard for me to change this part of myself.
This post was edited by rawwwrr on Apr 19 2016 01:20pm