Slovotsky's Law # 1 - " Chris is always right, except when he is wrong, which in my case is never"
Slovotsky's Law # 2 - " James is always wrong, with a few very minor exceptions not worth mentioning"
Slovotsky's Law # 3 - " When you know not whereof you speak, your mouth is best used for chewing"
Slovotsky's Law # 4 - " Morality doesn't prevent mortality"
Slovotsky's Law # 5 - " One finds many companions for food and drink, but in a serious business a man's companions are very few"
Slovotsky's Law # 6 - " It is a bad plan that admits of no modification"
Slovotsky's Law # 7 - " Thou shalt always cover thy ass"
Slovotsky's Law # 8 - " There's nothing that attracts attention like a whispering voice"
Slovotsky's Law # 9 - " Sometimes, you can't do anything about something that sucks. No matter how much it sucks."
Slovotsky's Law # 10 - " There is no substitute for hard work, except laziness"
Slovotsky's Law # 11 - " Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
Slovotsky's Law # 12 - " Shit happens. Deal with it"
Slovotsky's Law # 13 - " The man who can drive himself further when the effort gets painful is the man who will win"
Slovotsky's Law # 14 - " A coach is only as good as his coaching"
Slovotsky's Law # 15 - " The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it"
Slovotsky's Law # 16 - " He who follows another man's map will wind up 20 km short and headed in another direction"
Slovotsky's Law # 17 - " Don't be a Dumbass; Be a Schmink"
Slovotsky's Law # 18 - " Chris, James et Brandon sont les Grand Schminks, et Domini est ne schmink pas"
Slovotsky's Law # 19 - " Faithless is he that goes back on his word"
Slovotsky's Law # 20 - " Respect, Confidence, Determination - Value these above all other things"
Slovotsky's Law # 21 - " Never date a woman with a brother named Nunzio"
Slovotsky's Law # 22 - " What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient"
Slovotsky's Law # 23 - " Whatever you do, don't do it halfway"
Slovotsky's Law # 24 - " Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be"
Slovotsky's Law # 25 - " Use friendliness, but do not use your friends"
Slovotsky's Law # 26 - " Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it"
Slovotsky's Law # 27 - " Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments"
Slovotsky's Law # 28 - " It's not where you go; it's how you got there"
Slovotsky's Law # 29 - " It ain't over 'til it's over, and maybe not then, either"
Slovotsky's Law # 30 - " It is not the difference between people that is the difficulty; it is the indifference"
Slovotsky's Law # 31 - " He who speaketh not has nought to speak of, and thus shall speak not"
Slovotsky's Law # 32 - " Better to become allies with your enemies than to have your enemies ally against you"
Slovotsky's Law # 33 - " No matter how full your life is, there's always room for more beer!!!"
Slovotsky's Law # 34 - " Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time"
Slovotsky's Law # 35 - " Give in only when you forget how to breathe"
Slovotsky's Law # 36 - " BLAM"
Slovotsky's Law # 37 - " Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must"
Slovotsky's Law # 38 - " The man who runs behind car will get exhausted"
Slovotsky's Law # 39 - " He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons"
Slovotsky's Law # 40 - " It takes square ass to shit a brick"
Slovotsky's Law # 41 - " Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?"
Slovotsky's Law # 42 - " I belive in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures"
Slovotsky's Law # 43 - " Thou shalt put thy money where is thy mouth"
Slovotsky's Law # 44 - " There is no such thing as a foolproof plan, because all fools are ingenious"
Slovotsky's Law # 45 - " Chocolate Partly Skimmed Milk"
Slovotsky's Law # 46 - " Work to become, not to acquire"
Slovotsky's Law # 47 - " A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose"
Slovotsky's Law # 48 - " China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese"
Slovotsky's Law # 49 - " The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door"
Slovotsky's Law # 50 - " If you screw up, shut up"
Slovotsky's Law # 51 - " Where there's life there's hope, and a need for food"
Slovotsky's Law # 52 - " Once an entry is listed in the Being a Grand Schmink Handbook and Slovotsky's Laws, it is forever in place, NO EXCEPTIONS"
Slovotsky's Law # 53 - " Once a Grand Schmink, Always a Grand Schmink"
Slovotsky's Law # 54 - " Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them"
Slovotsky's Law # 55 - " Jason should shut his mouth before he begins to speak"
Slovotsky's Law # 56 - " Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you"
Slovotsky's Law # 57 - " He who laughs last thinks slowest"
Slovotsky's Law # 58 - " It is hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys"
Slovotsky's Law # 59 - " Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal"
Slovotsky's Law # 60 - " Everyone needs belief in something.....I believe I'll have another beer"
Slovotsky's Law # 61 - " When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate"
Slovotsky's Law # 62 - " Never underestimate the power of human stupidity"
Slovotsky's Law # 63 - " If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em"
Slovotsky's Law # 64 - " Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma"
Slovotsky's Law # 65 - " I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent"
Slovotsky's Law # 66 - " Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?"
Slovotsky's Law # 67 - " You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them"
Slovotsky's Law # 68 - " We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God"
Slovotsky's Law # 69 - " It's not that you and I are so clever, but that the others are such fools"
Slovotsky's Law # 70 - " I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant"
Slovotsky's Law # 71 - " I'm not cynical. Just experienced"
Slovotsky's Law # 72 - " It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am"
Slovotsky's Law # 73 - " I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost"
Slovotsky's Law # 74 - " The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action"
Slovotsky's Law # 75 - " The future isn't what it used to be"
Slovotsky's Law # 76 - " Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives"
Slovotsky's Law # 77 - " Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill"
Slovotsky's Law # 78 - " To err is human. To forgive is unusual"
Slovotsky's Law # 79 - " Only those who attempt the absurd can acheive the impossible"
Slovotsky's Law # 80 - " Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself"
Slovotsky's Law # 81 - " Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours"
Slovotsky's Law # 82 - " There's nothing more restful than taking orders from fools"
Slovotsky's Law # 83 - " I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving"
Slovotsky's Law # 84 - " The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his"
Slovotsky's Law # 85 - " I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference"
Slovotsky's Law # 86 - " When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before"
Slovotsky's Law # 87 - " I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem"
Slovotsky's Law # 88 - " Time flies when you don't know what you're doing"
Slovotsky's Law # 89 - "?Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate"
Slovotsky's Law # 90 - " Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive"
Slovotsky's Law # 91 - " We are the people our parents warned us about"
Slovotsky's Law # 92 - " Power means not having to respond"
Slovotsky's Law # 93 - " I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on"
Slovotsky's Law # 94 - " The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits"
Slovotsky's Law # 95 - " Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day"
Slovotsky's Law # 96 - " If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you"
Slovotsky's Law # 97 - " When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car"
Slovotsky's Law # 98 - " The average women talks 50% more than her husband listens"
Slovotsky's Law # 99 - " Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him there's a seat with wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to make sure"
Next set of laws will come when i can post again.

Slovotsky's Law # 100 - " Keep Your Stick On The Ice"
Slovotsky's Law # 101 - " There is always truth in sarcasm"
Slovotsky's Law # 102 - " Reputation is what you do when people are looking. Character is what you do when people aren't looking"
Slovotsky's Law # 103 - " Knowledge is power"
Slovotsky's Law # 104 - " Knowledge will forever govern ignorance"
Slovotsky's Law # 105 - " The good man is always honest. The evil man is always dishonest. The smart man just keeps his mouth shut"
Slovotsky's Law # 106 - " As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; And as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality"
Slovotsky's Law # 107 - " Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest"
Slovotsky's Law # 108 - " Pride is that which compels a man to do his very best even when nobody is watching"
Slovotsky's Law # 109 - " One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are not present"
Slovotsky's Law # 110 - " Let us be thankful for the fools. ?ut for them the rest of us could not succeed"
Slovotsky's Law # 111 - " The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory"
Slovotsky's Law # 112 - " When it says, "Caution. High Voltage", It means it"
Slovotsky's Law # 113 - " Just a thought : If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
Slovotsky's Law # 114 - " Just a thought : How is it possible to have a civil war?"
Slovotsky's Law # 115 - " Just a thought : If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"
Slovotsky's Law # 116 - " Just a thought : Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? "
Slovotsky's Law # 117 - " Just a thought : Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?"
Slovotsky's Law # 118 - " Just a thought : If "con" is the opposite of "pro," does that mean congress the opposite of progress?"
Slovotsky's Law # 119 - " Just a thought : If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? "
Slovotsky's Law # 120 - " Just a thought : If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?"
Slovotsky's Law # 121 - " Just a thought : If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made from?"
Slovotsky's Law # 122 - " Whoever made the word 'lisp' have an 's' in it was a cruel, cruel man "
Slovotsky's Law # 123 - " If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?"
Slovotsky's Law # 124 - " Just a thought : If it's zero degrees outside today, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?"
Slovotsky's Law # 125 - " Something to think about : Why does your nose run and your feet smell?"
Slovotsky's Law # 126 - " Just a Though: Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?"
Slovotsky's Law # 127 - " If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you...maybe not James, but everybody else, yes"
Slovotsky's Law # 128 - " Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark, raving mad"
Slovotsky's Law # 129 - " Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot"
Slovotsky's Law # 130 - " He who is truly lazy will step into a revolving door and wait"
Slovotsky's Law # 131 - " The 100% American is 99% an idiot"
Slovotsky's Law # 132 - " Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't"
Slovotsky's Law # 133 - " Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine"
Slovotsky's Law # 134 - " Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac"
Slovotsky's Law # 135 - " Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film"
Slovotsky's Law # 136 - " Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes"
Slovotsky's Law # 137 - " There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you're interrupting"
Slovotsky's Law # 138 - " Half of the world's misery comes from ignorance. The other half comes from intelligence"
Slovotsky's Law # 139 - " The hardest thing to explain is the glaringly evident which everybody else has decided not to see"
Slovotsky's Law # 140 - " A true friend stabs you in the front"
Slovotsky's Law # 141 - " That which does not kill me makes me smarter - except for oxygen deprivation"
Slovotsky's Law # 142 - " Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity"
Slovotsky's Law # 143 - " Nobody's perfect. There was one guy, but we killed him"
Slovotsky's Law # 144 - " Food is an important part of a balanced diet"
Slovotsky's Law # 145 - " I don't suffer from insanity. I thoroughly enjoy every minute of it"
Slovotsky's Law # 146 - " Be Realistic. Demand the Impossible!"
Slovotsky's Law # 147 - " Anyone who uses the phrase 'Easy As Taking Candy From A Baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby"
Slovotsky's Law # 148 - " Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else; Usually it's reading his own handwriting"
Slovotsky's Law # 149 - " Sometimes I think that the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us"
Slovotsky's Law # 150 - " He Who Trains His Tongue To Quote The Learned Sages Will Be Known Far And Wide As A Smart Ass"
Slovotsky's Law # 151 - " War doesn't determine who's right, war determines who's left"
Slovotsky's Law # 152 - " The man who steps in it, often says it"
Slovotsky's Law # 153 - " Fruit kills"
Slovotsky's Law # 154 - " Cheating just proves that you care about winning"
Slovotsky's Law # 155 - " Lord Of The Rings Kicks Total Ass!!!!!"
Slovotsky's Law # 156 - " He who thinks ahead, gets ahead"
Slovotsky's Law # 157 - " Laziness will generally take less effort than work"
Slovotsky's Law # 158 - " If looking for someone isn't supposed to be fun, why do they call it a search party?"
Slovotsky's Law # 159 - " You don't want advice, you want a miracle"
Slovotsky's Law # 160 - " You can't buy a miracle from a smiley, bald guy"
Slovotsky's Law # 161 - " You don't want to work hard, you want a shortcut"
Slovotsky's Law # 162 - " Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW"
Slovotsky's Law # 163 - " Some people are ego-centric, self-glorifying, stuck-up bastards that dont give a shit about anybody else"
Slovotsky's Law # 164 - " All computers are messed, its just they vary in degree of messing"
Slovotsky's Law # 165 - " Those who speak rapid-fire Spanish shall not steal others' email accounts"
Slovotsky's Law # 166 - " Give a person enough rope and they'll hang themselves. Give them too much rope and they'll ACCIDENTALLY hang themselves"
Slovotsky's Law # 167 - " Love is like a roller coaster; At times you're up, and other you're down"
Slovotsky's Law # 168 - " You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar?and still more with nerve gas"
Slovotsky's Law # 169 - " Keep your friends close and your enemies closer - unless, of course, they have really bad B.O."
Slovotsky's Law # 170 - " It's not what you know, its who you know""
Slovotsky's Law # 171 - " Just a thought: Why do slim chance and fat chance mean the same thing?"
Slovotsky's Law # 172 - " You can complain because roses have thorns or rejoice because thorns have roses"
Slovotsky's Law # 173 - " Do not say the word 'Bomb' at an airport. Show some originality and say 'Biochemical Incendiary Device' "
Slovotsky's Law # 174 - " I'm a man?But I can change?If I have to?I guess?But not too much"
Slovotsky's Law # 175 - " Real friends don't let their friends get eaten by trees"
Slovotsky's Law # 176 - " If at first you don't succeed?use more duct tape"
Slovotsky's Law # 177 - " Sex is like air; It only matters if you aren't getting any"
Slovotsky's Law # 178 - " Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life"
Slovotsky's Law # 179 - " The world may be full of fourth-rate writers, but it's also full of fourth-rate readers"
Slovotsky's Law # 180 - " I read the newspaper avidly. It is my one form of continuous fiction"
Slovotsky's Law # 181 - " Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote, and hope it comes out straight"
Slovotsky's Law # 182 - " Never judge a book by its movie"
Slovotsky's Law # 183 - " If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius"
Slovotsky's Law # 184 - " To each their own, unless their own sucks "
Slovotsky's Law # 185 - " Gray hair is a sign of age, not of wisdom"
Slovotsky's Law # 186 - " If you star talking out your ass you know you're head's too far up it"
Slovotsky's Law # 187 - " Those who go to college and never get out are called professors"
Slovotsky's Law # 188 - " The surest way to not get a lie from someone is not to ask a question"
Slovotsky's Law # 189 - " Everyone is entitled to their own opinion?except James"
Slovotsky's Law # 190 - " If you steal something small you are a petty thief, but if you steal millions you are a gentleman of society"
Slovotsky's Law # 191 - " You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose?or at least you shouldn't"
Slovotsky's Law # 192 - " McKee is a stupid, bastardly, ne-schmink-pas dumbass"
Slovotsky's Law # 193 - " When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions; their reasons are always different"
Slovotsky's Law # 194 - " There are 5 types of sentences : Declarative, Imperative, Interrogative, Exclamatory, and Complete Bullshit"
Slovotsky's Law # 195 - " Every fool finds a greater one to admire them."
Slovotsky's Law # 196 - " Truth is a cow which will yield people no more milk, and so they are gone to milk the bull"
Slovotsky's Law # 197 - " Don't set houses on fire with goats"
Slovotsky's Law # 198 - " Thou shalt never microwave cows, for any reason"
Slovotsky's Law # 199 - " Harry Potter Should Die!!!!!!!!! Or at least fall off a cliff or something"
Slovotsky's Law # 200 - " BLAMBLAM!!!!"
Slovotsky's Law # 201 - " Don't count on the milkman, count on your fingers if you really need visual aid that badly"
Slovotsky's Law # 202 - " Like yourself, because most likely someone else wants to be like you"
Slovotsky's Law # 203 - " If you want to be somebody, or if you want to go somewhere, then sit up and pay attention"
Slovotsky's Law # 204 - " When in doubt, flip a coin; Heads is Maybe, Tails is Possibly"
Slovotsky's Law # 205 - " If you have a Math teacher that wears a fuzzy shirt and thinks they're a chia pet, you're in trouble"
Slovotsky's Law # 206 - " Martha Stewart has some serious issues"
Slovotsky's Law # 207 - " Everyone should own a pair of Bill's overalls"
Slovotsky's Law # 208 - " It's like a big pressure-cooker out there, and one of these days...... **BOOM** Beans everywhere"
Slovotsky's Law # 209 - " In an area where everyone are cousins, adultery is in very low proportions......or at least, it should be"
Slovotsky's Law # 210 - " Steve Is Gonna Get It"
Slovotsky's Law # 211 - " Its always in the last place you look for a reason"
Slovotsky's Law # 212 - " Thou shalt not substitute nitro-glycerin for hydrogen when re-creating the centre of the sun in your garage"
Slovotsky's Law # 213 - " Don't do things for the fame, aim higher than that.........Do it for the money"
Slovotsky's Law # 214 - " We're not lost. We're locationally challenged"
Slovotsky's Law # 215 - " Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction"
Slovotsky's Law # 216 - " Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms"
Slovotsky's Law # 217 - " Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them"
Slovotsky's Law # 218 - " Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time"
Slovotsky's Law # 219 - " True friendship is seen through the heart not through the eyes"
Slovotsky's Law # 220 - " You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough"
Slovotsky's Law # 221 - " If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome; if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent; if you believe the military, nothing is safe"
Slovotsky's Law # 222 - " True courage is when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what"
Slovotsky's Law # 223 - " Yellowknife should be non-existent"
Slovotsky's Law # 224 - " Teen pregnancy results in the death of a child by poisoned berries"
Slovotsky's Law # 225 - " Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it"

Slovotsky's Law # 226 - " Experience?is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwords"
Slovotsky's Law # 227 - " Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half sorrow"
Slovotsky's Law # 228 - " All you need is love........Hah, who am I kidding, food is all you need to live the good life"
Slovotsky's Law # 229 - " Drinking twelve pints of petrol and then selotaping your head to the mantlepiece will prevent you from falling over and choking on your own vomit. However, this may not prevent your stomach from dissolving, and if the fire is ignited, will not prevent you from exploding"
Slovotsky's Law # 230 - " I Do Not Make The Bloody, Thrice-Damned, Idiotic Commercials"
Slovotsky's Law # 231 - " When all else fails, climb under a rock"

Slovotsky's Law # 232 - " Just a Thought: Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?"
Slovotsky's Law # 233 - " Just a Thought: Can Atheists get insurance for Acts of God?"
Slovotsky's Law # 234 - " Just a Thought: How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?"
Slovotsky's Law # 235 - " Just a Thought: If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?"
Slovotsky's Law # 236 - " Just a Thought: What color is a chameleon on a mirror?"
Slovotsky's Law # 237 - " Just a Thought: Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?"
Slovotsky's Law # 238 - " Just a Thought: Can fat people go skinny-dipping?"
Slovotsky's Law # 239 - " Just a Thought: Is homo milk from a gay cow?"
Slovotsky's Law # 240 - " If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out"
Slovotsky's Law # 241 - " For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program"
Slovotsky's Law # 242 - " Fear is the feeling of oncoming pain, whether physical or mental"
Slovotsky's Law # 243 - " Everyone seems normal until you get to know them"
Slovotsky's Law # 244 - " It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives"
Slovotsky's Law # 245 - " Those Jello company bastards........."
Slovotsky's Law # 246 - " Seize the initiative!"
Slovotsky's Law # 247 - " Half of what is recycled is just thrown out anyways......A lot like decent government plans"
Slovotsky's Law # 248 - " Technology has not advanced to the point yet where we can send chicken pot pie via email"
Slovotsky's Law # 249 - " Extreme obesity should be made illegal"
Slovotsky's Law # 250 - " Quando Omni Flunkis Moritae-SitDown"
Slovotsky's Law # 251 - " Thou shalt not use glass shards to shave thy hair, facial or otherwise"
Slovotsky's Law # 252 - " It's only dangerous to chew 26 pieces of gum if it's all at the same time, while talking on a cellphone, and driving 400 km/h on the British Freeway"
Slovotsky's Law # 253 - " There's always a catch somewhere"
Slovotsky's Law # 254 - " Who is more foolish, the fool or he who follows the fool?"
Slovotsky's Law # 255 - " Thou shalt avoid at all costs crazy old men in bowling alleys that taunt you and try to chase you"
Slovotsky's Law # 256 - " Spending money usually isn't worth it. Watch what you're doing"
Slovotsky's Law # 257 - " Boredom is one of the worst tortures you can inflict on another being"
Slovotsky's Law # 258 - " Falling down stairs is dangerous to your health, but falling up stairs is dangerous to your mental health"
Slovotsky's Law # 259 - " The answer to every question you ever had is out there, and is somehow tied to food"
Slovotsky's Law # 260 - " Anything, given the right proportions and circumstances, is a weapon. Except, of course, for food"
Slovotsky's Law # 261 - " Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but sometimes a lollipop will have to do"
Slovotsky's Law # 262 - " Fear is simply an excuse for those lacking in will power"
Slovotsky's Law # 263 - " It's a dog-eat-dog world out there; Survival Of The Fattest"
Slovotsky's Law # 264 - " Don't golf with The Golfinator"
Slovotsky's Law # 265 - " You can't change your beginning, but you can change your ending"
Slovotsky's Law # 266 - " Thou shalt never, ever replace Red Green with Gzowsky in Conversation, upon pain of death"
Slovotsky's Law # 267 - " There are two actions in life: Excuses and Results"
Slovotsky's Law # 268 - " Food, as good as it may be, is not the best thing in life. The best thing in life is doing what you want with who want, while eating the food you want"
Slovotsky's Law # 269 - " I Fatti Vostri"
Slovotsky's Law # 270 - " To like them, you have to be like them"
Slovotsky's Law # 271 - " Kings have a cook guy who tests all their food for them. When the cook guy falls dead after eating some food, the kings goes 'Bwaagh!' and finds another cook guy to test his food"
Slovotsky's Law # 272 - " If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid"
Slovotsky's Law # 273 - " Friendly fire - isn't"
Slovotsky's Law # 274 - " Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing"
Slovotsky's Law # 275 - " The other line always moves faster"
Slovotsky's Law # 276 - " Those who know the least will always know it the loudest"
Slovotsky's Law # 277 - " The harder you work the more people there will be to claim credit except when it backfires. You get all the credit for the dumb move"
Slovotsky's Law # 278 - " If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it"
Slovotsky's Law # 279 - " Chaos always wins, because it's better organized"
Slovotsky's Law # 280 - " If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried."
Slovotsky's Law # 281 - " If all else fails, hit it with a big hammer"
Slovotsky's Law # 282 - " Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone"
Slovotsky's Law # 283 - " Never fight anyone with Rank 83"
Slovotsky's Law # 284 - " When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space. If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash"
Slovotsky's Law # 285 - " For any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version appears. And the new version always manages to change the one feature you need most"
Slovotsky's Law # 286 - " Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof - then blame a Private"
Slovotsky's Law # 287 - " Don't stand, if you can sit - don't sit, if you can lay down - if you can lay down, you might as well take a nap"
Slovotsky's Law # 288 - " All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door"
Slovotsky's Law # 289 - " When all else fails, read the instructions"
Slovotsky's Law # 290 - "?If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number"
Slovotsky's Law # 291 - " After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done"
Slovotsky's Law # 292 - " Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted"
Slovotsky's Law # 293 - " If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it"
Slovotsky's Law # 294 - " The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get"
Slovotsky's Law # 295 - " If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it"
Slovotsky's Law # 296 - " If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done"
Slovotsky's Law # 297 - " People don't make the same mistake twice, they make it three, four, or five times"
Slovotsky's Law # 298 - " If someone says he will do something "without fail", he won't"
Slovotsky's Law # 299 - " When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried"
Slovotsky's Law # 300 - " Damn it, McGill!"
Slovotsky's Law # 301 - " Benny's a cool little guy"
Slovotsky's Law # 302 - " The intelligence of some animals greatly exceeds that of certain humans"
Slovotsky's Law # 303 - " Thou shalt not use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch on all rabbits; Only the Killer Rabbits, those with long, nasty, pointy teeth"
Slovotsky's Law # 304 - " Never believe that the way a person looks is who they really are"
Slovotsky's Law # 305 - " A 'jiffy' is 53 seconds, no more, no less"
Slovotsky's Law # 306 - " No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry"
Slovotsky's Law # 307 - " The best way to get even with someone is to drive just ahead of them for 100 miles with your left turn blinker on"
Slovotsky's Law # 308 - " Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened"
Slovotsky's Law # 309 - " Whatever happens happens for a reason, except the unreasonable"
Slovotsky's Law # 310 - " Practice makes perfect only if its perfect practice"
Slovotsky's Law # 311 - " When one is sleeping in Math class, McKee shall shut his trap and keep it shut"
Slovotsky's Law # 312 - " Sleep is one of the best rewards possible to bestow upon another being"
Slovotsky's Law # 313 - " Ignorance is bliss.....Until, that is, the big rock hatches into a black hole that sucks everything up!"
Slovotsky's Law # 314 - " Bad things happen in ones, twos, threes, or more, depending on how bad your luck is"
Slovotsky's Law # 315 - " Just because one is proficient in the art of launching incendiary projectiles doesnt mean they can go around throwing fire-bombs at whoever they damn well please"
Slovotsky's Law # 316 - " One of the most annoying things is when you look up a word in the dictionary, and there's a word in the definition that you need to look up, too"
Slovotsky's Law # 317 - " A friend is one who knows all about you and loves you just the same"
Slovotsky's Law # 318 - " A man is not rewarded for having brains, but only for using them"
Slovotsky's Law # 319 - " A man's character is measured by what he would do if he knew he wouldn't be found out"
Slovotsky's Law # 320 - " A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner"
Slovotsky's Law # 321 - " Be a good loser, but don't make it a habit"
Slovotsky's Law # 322 - " Better a little with honor than much with shame"
Slovotsky's Law # 323 - " Complete honesty in little things is not a little thing at all"
Slovotsky's Law # 324 - " Confession may be good for the soul, but it's often bad for the reputation"
Slovotsky's Law # 325 - " Despite inflation, a penny is still a fair price for too many people's thoughts"
Slovotsky's Law # 326 - " Discussion is an exchange of intelligence.?Argument is an exchange of ignorance"
Slovotsky's Law # 327 - " Everybody should learn to drive, especially those who sit behind the wheel"
Slovotsky's Law # 328 - " Genius is seldom recognized for what it is, a great capacity for hard work"
Slovotsky's Law # 329 - " Great minds discuss ideas.?Good minds discuss events.?Small minds discuss people"
Slovotsky's Law # 330 - " He who laughs lasts"
Slovotsky's Law # 331 - " Honesty is the best policy, but there are too few policyholders"
Slovotsky's Law # 332 - " He who talks by the yard and works by the inch should be removed by the foot"
Slovotsky's Law # 333 - " If you do a favor, forget it.?If you receive a favor, remember it"
Slovotsky's Law # 334 - " If you show people you're a live wire, they won't step on you"
Slovotsky's Law # 335 - " If you get up one time more than you fall, you will make it"
Slovotsky's Law # 336 - " If you want to improve your memory, loan money to others"
Slovotsky's Law # 337 - " It's not the years in your life that count.?It's the life in your years"
Slovotsky's Law # 338 - " Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on it"
Slovotsky's Law # 339 - " Opportunity merely knocks--temptation kicks the door in"
Slovotsky's Law # 340 - " Some people grow under responsibility.?Other people merely swell"
Slovotsky's Law # 341 - " Some people are like blisters.?They don't show up until the work is done"
Slovotsky's Law # 342 - " Sooner or later, all smokers quit.?Heavy smokers often quit earlier"
Slovotsky's Law # 343 - " The best things in life may be free, but things money can buy aren't bad either"
Slovotsky's Law # 344 - " The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it"
Slovotsky's Law # 345 - " The real leaders do not always march at the head of the procession"
Slovotsky's Law # 346 - " The reason many don't climb the ladder of success is that they're waiting for the elevator"
Slovotsky's Law # 347 - " There is one good thing you can give and still keep--your word"
Slovotsky's Law # 348 - " There are many more trap doors to failure than there are short cuts to success"
Slovotsky's Law # 349 - " Two-thirds of promotion is motion"
Slovotsky's Law # 350 - " To have a true friend, you must be a true friend"
Slovotsky's Law # 351 - " I find that we all get more legendary as time goes by. 'Legend' means, basically, 'bullshit'"
Slovotsky's Law # 352 - " The greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza"
Slovotsky's Law # 353 - " When planning revenge on a group of kids throwing snow balls at a moving vehicle, the best C.O.A. is to pelt them with a home-built snowball thrower converted from a tennis ball launcher hidden in your van"
Slovotsky's Law # 354 - " Just a Thought: If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
Slovotsky's Law # 355 - " Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn"
Slovotsky's Law # 356 - " What the fool does at the end, the wise man did at the beginning"
Slovotsky's Law # 357 - " When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"
Slovotsky's Law # 358 - " Wise men know more than they tell.?Fools tell more than they know"
Slovotsky's Law # 359 - " You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely"
Slovotsky's Law # 360 - " You will never get indigestion from swallowing your pride"
Slovotsky's Law # 361 - " Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble"
Slovotsky's Law # 362 - " Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift". They say "President", we say "Stupid Psychopathic Git"
Slovotsky's Law # 363 - " If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop."
Slovotsky's Law # 364 - " Everything goes wrong all at once"
Slovotsky's Law # 365 - " In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong"
Slovotsky's Law # 366 - " Things will be damaged in direct proportion to its value"
Slovotsky's Law # 367 - " When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer. Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem"
Slovotsky's Law # 368 - " Wherever you go, there you are"
Slovotsky's Law # 369 - " Don't expect people to agree with everything, that is expecting too much"
Slovotsky's Law # 370 - " You stop running after you catch the bus"
Slovotsky's Law # 371 - " Pfffh!"
Slovotsky's Law # 372 - " You've gotta do whatcha gotta do.....Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone"
Slovotsky's Law # 373 - " Thou shalt not lose thy heredity when thine appendix is removed"
Slovotsky's Law # 374 - " True friendship cannot be expressed, measured, or otherwise put into words"
Slovotsky's Law # 375 - " Being right all the time is a real expensive habit"
Slovotsky's Law # 376 - " An idle mind is........the best way to relax"
Slovotsky's Law # 377 - " Where there's smoke, there's pollution"
Slovotsky's Law # 378 - " Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice Doggie!'.....till you can find a rock"
Slovotsky's Law # 379 - " Why soar like an eagle when you can be a weasel and not get sucked up into jet intakes?"
Slovotsky's Law # 380 - " Miscellaneous is always the largest category"
Slovotsky's Law # 381 - " Grab what comfort you can, however you can, whenever you can. The ride gets real rocky way too often"
Slovotsky's Law # 382 - " Get scared right away; Avoid the rush"
Slovotsky's Law # 383 - " Lying, like eating, can be overdone"
Slovotsky's Law # 384 - " I'm a simple man. All I want is enough women for two normal men, enough sleep for three, and enough food for four""q?

That is all of Slovotsky's Laws Enjoy

Orly?

You spent WAY too much time on this. lol

not me a friend he did all this

Later everyone going to bed. Ill be postin more of Walter Slovotsky's Laws in about 7 hours peace everyone.

So Slovotsky's Laws are just a bunch of quotes? nice.

i'm terribly sorry but I DIDN'T READ