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#491
Jan 17 2012 12:08pm
Quote (MischaDK @ 17 Jan 2012 02:14)
A girl once was confessing to a priest......
Girl: "Forgive me father for I Have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of the bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of the bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know
where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no Reason to call him a son of a
bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
"
Priest: THAT SON Of A BITCH!!!"


godt nok engelsk men det er satme den bedste jeg har hørt ;D


HAHA
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#492
Jan 17 2012 12:09pm
Quote (MischaDK @ Jan 17 2012 03:14am)
A girl once was confessing to a priest......
Girl: "Forgive me father for I Have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of the bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of the bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know
where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no Reason to call him a son of a
bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
"
Priest: THAT SON Of A BITCH!!!"


godt nok engelsk men det er satme den bedste jeg har hørt ;D


looooool :D
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#493
Jan 17 2012 12:28pm
Quote (waw @ Jan 17 2012 07:08pm)
HAHA


Quote (Vinum @ Jan 17 2012 07:09pm)
looooool :D


hehe ja det sq den bedste joke jeg nogensinde har hørt må jeg sige ;P
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#494
Jan 17 2012 12:31pm
Quote (MischaDK @ Jan 17 2012 02:14am)
A girl once was confessing to a priest......
Girl: "Forgive me father for I Have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of the bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of the bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of the bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know
where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no Reason to call him a son of a
bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
"
Priest: THAT SON Of A BITCH!!!"


godt nok engelsk men det er satme den bedste jeg har hørt ;D


Haha xD Var faktisk ikke så dårligt.
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#495
Jan 17 2012 03:55pm
Det var københavneren der havde fået arbejde i Sønderjylland, hvilket han var meget stolt af.
I weekenden, hvor han var hjemme i København, skulle vennerne selvfølgelig imponeres.
Og han fortalte til alle, der gad høre det, at han arbejdede i Sønderjylland.

Vennen : Hvor fanden ligger Sønderjylland ?

Københavneren : Jeg ved det ikke helt præcist, men det ligger ikke så langt fra Afrika !

Vennen : Afrika ? Er du sikker på det ?

Københavneren : Ja ! Det er jeg helt sikker på, for jeg arbejder sammen med en neger, og han cykler hjem i frokostpausen !
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#496
Jan 18 2012 09:25am
En stemme i højttaleren i Kastrup lufthavn : Alle fly er en halv time forsinket.

Flyet til Rom afgår kl. 7.00 i stedet for kl. 6.30.

Flyet til London afgår kl. 8.00 i stedet for kl. 7.30.

Flyet til Århus afgår, når den lille viser står på ni og den store står på tolv!
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#497
Jan 19 2012 09:18am
En mand kom kørende i sin fancy bil, da han fik øje på en blondine der kom gående.

Han stopped og rullede vinduet ned hvor efter blondinen stak hovedet ind og spurgte: Skal du have hjælp ?

nej tak, sagde manden og rullede i det samme vinduet op så hendes hoved sad fast.

Så gik han ud af bilen om til blondinens bagdel og gav hende hele turen bagfra !

bagefter sagde han : Vi mænd har vores tricks !

blondinen grinte og sagde : det har vi bøsser også !
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#498
Jan 20 2012 11:39am
På en restaurant i Thisted sad tre mænd. En Amerikaner, en Skotte og en Dansker, døren går op og ind kommer Jesus.

Amerikaneren byder ham hen til deres bord, og byder Jesus på en Budweiser.

Skotten byder på en Malt Whiskey, og danskeren byder en Thy Pilsner.

Efter en stund bryder Jesus op og giver hånd til farvel.

Først amerikaneren, og da han giver hånd til Jesus forsvinder hans ondt i ryggen fuldstændigt.

Så giver han hånd til skotten, og også hans dårlige knæ gør nu ikke mere ondt.

Da udbryder danskeren : Mig holder du dig fra, jeg får førtidspension !
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#499
Jan 21 2012 01:33pm
En blondine bliver stoppet af en motorcykelbetjent....

Betjenten : De kørte for stærkt frue, må jeg se Deres kørekort ?

Blondinen : Ups...det har jeg glemt hvor er.

Betjenten : Er det din bil ?

Blondinen : Ja, det tror jeg da nok.

Betjenten : Jeg bliver nødt til lige at checke med centralen.

Betjenten : Hallo central ? Jeg har standset en ung kvinde der ikke er helt sikker på om det er hendes egen bil hun kører i.

Centralen : Den unge kvinde...Er det en blondine med blå øjne og store tasker i en rød BMW ?

Betjenten : Øhhh...ja hvorfor ?

Centralen : Gå tilbage til hende og smid dine bukser...

Betjenten : Hvad ? Det kan jeg da ikke.

Centralen : Gør det nu bare...stol på mig.

Betjenten går tilbage til blondinen, kigger på hende et kort øjeblik, og smider derefter bukserne.

Blondinen : Åh nej, skal jeg nu til at puste i ballon igen ?
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#500
Jan 24 2012 05:04am
Har De alkoholproblemer? spurgte lægen.

Mig ? Nej, men min kone har.

Såh, hvordan viser det sig ?

Hun bliver sur, hver gang jeg er fuld ?
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