@ all: Thank you once again for new and continuing support. I do appreciate it so much. Sometimes it's just a few positive words that help pull me through. Mentally anyway. Believe me I am a mess there. Memory is complete shit sometimes.
Take yesterday for instance. My apologies to my group for having to go. How the hell do you completely forget that you have a doctors appointment? I don't mean just forget and then go " Oh yeah, that's right... I forgot." I mean having no memory at all. My ride showed up ( I do not drive to/from drs..... in fact I drive very little now because I am just plain scared to) and asked if I was ready. I was like "Ready for what???" When she told me I was thinking "wtf? Are you serious? Today? Now?" Oh I was soooooooooooooooo pissed. Not because I had to go to the dr, but because as much as I have cried and complained about not being able to get a run, I have to ditch the one I finally get. It may have taken an hour to get to lvl 20 ( and then people wanted to take a break
) and the run may have been taking an extraordinarily long time but it was extraordinarily faster than soloing.
@ Brainwashed- I have read up on homeopathic remedies and have tried to work them in with the treatments I have been getting from the doctors. I do believe there is something to " Home remedies." Here is a link to give you a better idea of what has happened. (
http://forums.d2jsp.org/topic.php?t=63468314&f=276 ) You don't have to read it ofc, it's just in case you wanted a better understanding of my situation. In addition to that, later I was told that the ambulance had to pull over to the side of the road ( directly across from the hospital as it just so happens) so that the EMTs could work on me because I had stopped breathing. My wife was already in hysterics and that did not help alleviate the situation any. It's only like 3-4 miles from my house to the hospital..... I feel so bad for her. So much has been dropped on her at once. Only one working. Trying to take care of me. Taking care of household duties when I can't. I do as much as I can, but sometimes I feel like I barely have enough strength to roll over in bed. This is pretty much just for a few days after my chemo and then I can usually pick up some of the work. Not a lot at once and nothing really hard, but I do what I can. It's so hard for me to imagine what she had to go through watching me in the condition I was in. It has to be hard watching the person you love and have been with for over a decade slowly dying in front of you and not knowing if there is going to be a next day or not.
@ nefer- Not really any pain. Mostly just tired and weak. When there is, it is mostly just body aches like with a bad flu. I do pack a bowl with some fresh green "occasionally". It is mostly for nausea and stress. The only problem ( other than it being illegal here lol) is that it gives me the "munchies" like a mofo and sometimes it drives me insane trying to find something I can eat because I have a pretty limited diet now since I have no teeth. I want to rip into a rack of ribs or even just a Cook-Out cheeseburger so bad, but it just isn't possible right now.
@ Joe- Thanks man... I know I complain a lot, but I do hope that what I have been through and where I am now will give others in my situation some kind of hope for a better tomorrow. As much as I bitch I do give thanks every night for the day I have been blessed with. No matter how bad it has been, it has been another day I get to live and fight.
@ Shannon- Where would be without drama?
We gotta have something to make things interesting.
( Why do you think they keep me around
) Btw.... do you desperately need spankies or do you think someone else does?
@ Rick- What ever happened to the warning thing we had before? When we used to talk about "swords" and "vaults". Those were some days there lol....... It really got explicit sometimes
I think that's enough @'s for now ( much to the relief of everyone who cannot possibly figure out how I can make a book out of every post) Time for me to get clicking on my 35 mage. I'm not even going to think about a run after yesterday. I am still pizzed about that.
Much
to y'all