Ladies and Gentlemen,
I have a very special announcement to make regarding promotions of course.
First off let me just commend each and every one of you for your hard work and indeed loyalty to this ever aging guild, if it was feasible there would be numerous promotions going about now. But since my vision and therefore actions are limited I have decided to reward three particular individuals.
The first one and obviously the most important;
ilikeitlikethat : For your continuous support and honesty in dealing with any issues within the guild. This of course has long since been recognised but only now is being acted upon. I now promote you to General. Which if any of you were wondering has an unwritten law that if ever I were to retire would be the next in line to take over. You now have 1/3 chance of being the guild leader. I'm kidding you have zero chance for I plan to bring us all to doom or success ad infinitum without fail!
benell: Again you have persevered like no other I have seen and it shows your level of consistency is immaculate and indeed unparalleled. Not many will understand why I choose those specific words but believe me they are from the bottom of my appreciative heart. You now join the ranks of generals, with a prefix of Brigadier.
skitels: You remind me of our very old aged Dom in some respects. Not the loudness and audicity but the never ending loyalty, presence and availability. In many respects you are one of the sneakiest surprise for this guild and indeed for me. I did not imagine after such a short time that you would be almost beat me in gps and after such a long time decide to remain with us. I must admit we are lucky to have you

Now that all that has been said I shall now commence the promotion.
P.s: grzes you can choose to retain your Drummer rank or take up the colonel rank. Congratulations all. Beyond well deserved.
I'm sandwiched between Tim's, just the way I like it ... like that! Gratz on the promotions everyone.