I also hear that the US government has applied to be recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records.

What category you ask?

The animal with the most nipples.. Cause we have more people sucking the tit than ever before.. Sooner or later the milk has to stop flowing.. Either that or the cow dies..

I guess they have never considered cause and effect..

Which reminds me of a cause and effect story that I was a part of back in the late seventies, before I was married.

I had a roommate and we lived in a trailer house. And it had those trailer house toilets.. And after a while I couldn't stand it anymore. So I went to Builders Square, the predecessor of Home Depot and Lowe's.

And when I got to the plumbing department, I was greeted by a good looking, mid thirties lady with an apron on that said "Pluming Department Manager". It was the seventies after all and the women had already been liberated..

In any case I asked her if there was a man working in the plumbing department. She got a little insulted and insisted that she could help me, and she asked what I was looking for.

"A toilet," I said. "And it has to be a tall one with a lot of room between the top of the bowl and the water." She seemed puzzled but led me to the isle of toilets and I proceeded to "test sit" a few of them.

She was getting a little put out and finally blurted out "Why are you so particular about which toilet you buy?"

"Because I am tired of Mr. Wiggly getting his head wet every time I sit down to read the paper," I said.

She turned beet red and helped me get my choice in my cart. And then she said in the kindest of voices, "You know, we have a few more toilets in the back if you'd like to see them."

It sounded kind of strange, but off we went to the store room to check out a few more bowls..

But after we got thru those double swinging doors the mood changed. It's amazing what some good halide lighting can do to provide a romantic glow..

Fact is that she did not have any more toilets in storage, and she just wanted to see Mr. Wiggly.. Well you can guess the rest..

I'd go to the Builders Square plumbing department every Tuesday morning for the next two months.. Once you have made love on a pallet of PVC pipe it is hard to quit.

It all came to an end one day when her husband caught us doing some pipework in the back room. I had no idea he was the manager of the Power Tool Department..

He chased me out of the store with an 18 volt cordless skillsaw, with the Plumbing Department Manager running right behind.. All I can remember is her screaming "Don't cut off Mr. Wiggly! Don't cut off Mr. Wiggly!"

A while later I heard that she ended up getting a divorce over the ordeal.. Like Tom T. Hall said, "Lady, if your married wear that ring!"

So there is your cause and effect.. I needed a toilet... And a lady got divorced..

See how complicated things get....

Chris. I need a "Like" button for that story. Epic and awesome!

That is genius Chris

Anyone interested in trying to do an Empire/friends fantasy football league?

Confused! What you be talken about mi Nigga!

yea brother

never been in a football pool before though, all hockey

hey old friend, how you been?

still have one arm?

I want to set up a fantasy football league for Empire/friends of Empire, if we can get enough people that would like to try it. I know Nate had expressed some interest before, not sure what his schedule is like nowadays tho.



Cool.


Me and Kyle so far then. Would like to have at least 10 people for a league. Post if you're interested

I guess i'd be interested not sure what all it entails lmk i guess...

good night fellas find out if i get a job with Vesuvius Usa later on So amped would be one hot job working in a steel mill but hey money is a shit load better!

Sup